Saturday, 11 June 2016

A Smile That Could Shred Your Heart to Pieces...

It had been scorching hot just minutes ago and now, suddenly, there was an eerie coolness all around. Fayrouza sat motionless on the rock, her elbows resting on her folded knees, hugging her own self, as if caressing away the pain of life,… or maybe death. The gentle breeze blowing from the sea was playing with some loose strands of her coarse black hair- the remaining were neatly tied up in a bun at the back of her head. She wore a pale pink dress up to her knees. Her eyes were fixed at some invisible point in the misty water- some place close to the horizon, some place close to that tiny island far away- the one with a lone tree standing.

“Do you know why is that island called the ‘Snake Island’?”

The question broke her reverie and Fayorouza looked straight into the eye of the handsome man who had been sitting next to her for some time now- the one who had asked her the question.

“Snake Island,” Fayrouza repeated and her voice sounded strange to her own ears, not because of any change in the frequency or tone, but because she had half expected she wouldn’t hear it.

“Yes, do you know why it is called that?” he asked again. She shook her head in a ‘no’.

“Well, me neither!” he chirped with an obvious amusement lighting up his eyes, his face breaking into a smile that could shred your heart to pieces.

“He gets dimples!” Fayrouza thought.

His smile widened before he broke into a laugh- not a loud one but the kind of laugh you expect from men who were trying to please you, from men who could read your mind.

“How old are you?” Fayrouza blurted out. It was hard to tell whether she was only curious to know or irritated by the fact that she was actually attracted to him.

He sighed, his smile never leaving his face, and tilted his head ever so slightly before answering, “Much older than you.”

 Then he turned away from her and stared into the space far away. Fayrouza followed his vision and went back to staring at the invisible point in the sea. That is when she noticed, from the side of her eye, a photograph floating towards her. When it was within reach, she bent down to pick it up. It was the picture of a cat sitting on the edge of a door. She remembered the picture well. It was from when she was way younger-during her school days, at her home. She loved the cat dearly.

“You love your cats, don’t you?” he asked.

She looked up at him. She loved the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled- and smile he did continuously. The golden of the setting sun shone on his face making him look magnificent. 
She couldn’t take her eyes away.

 “Ehmm, ehmm…” he coughed before giving his flirtatious laugh.

Fayrouza had been so lost in the beauty of the man that she wasn’t able to recall the question.

He reminded her the question by pointing to the photograph with a tilt of his head and a look by his eyes.

“Yes” she finally replied. Looking back at the photograph she told, “He died”.

“I know” was his simple reply.

Fayrouza turned and looked at the sea again…. Hundreds and thousands of floating photographs now dotted the sea, she bent down to lift another one.

“Ohh!” she exclaimed with a little laugh and looked up at him. He was still smiling his mesmerizing smile. She held up the photograph to show him and he nodded.

It showed a young man with a bearded face and thick specs holding a little girl- both of them smiling widely.

“That’s me when I was a kid and he…he was my …uncle…friend maybe….my neighbour…my family’s tenant actually…do you know him?” she asked.

“Of course I do”, he told plainly, “I met him a few years ago”.

Fayrouza was by now kneeling on the rock, bending down to look for another photograph when he held out one for her.

“Maybe this is an important photograph for you”, he cocked his head and raised his eyebrows as he gave her an old, monochrome picture of a beautiful lady. Beautiful in an exotic way. She was dressed in a traditional Burmese sarong.

Fayrouza stared at the picture for a while and without taking her eyes off she asked him, “You surely know her.”

“Yes, I do. I’ve met her too”, she heard him reply softly.

She looked up to talk to him about the lady in the picture but he had already stood up, ready to go.

“You know how they change dates based on the moon!” he told rolling his eyes. We better reach on the same date.

Fayrouza stood up. The rocks were wet and slippery with the sea waves crashing on them every now and then. She remembered being scared of slipping on the rocks a few hours ago…well, she even remembered slipping… and falling down. She looked down at where she had fallen and saw a girl sleeping. The girl had some loose strands of coarse black hair- the remaining were neatly tied up in a bun at the back of her head. She wore a pale pink dress up to her knees.

She looked up at him and told, “I had a fall”.

“I took care of you”, he smiled back.

Fayrouza looked around for the photographs…she couldn’t find any…. They had vanished from her and from the sea- which now was slowly losing the golden shimmer of the sun and beginning to authorize the darkness of the night.

He called out her name.

“You know my name”, she exclaimed.

“And you know mine”, he laughed his half-amused-half-flirting laughter and gave his hand to her.

She took his hand and climbed down the slippery rock. His hands were warm against the coldness all around. That felt good. They started walking.

“Don’t you dislike your name?” she piped.

“Not at all…why would I?” he asked.

She simply shrugged at him.

He narrowed his eyes at her. She was thinking of wars. He laughed out…loudly this time….

“You people!!” he shook his head in disbelief. “Of all the things you could ask me, you ask me this!!”

Izraeel rolled his eyes and laughed. Fayrouza laughed back.

She could hear the echo of their laughter come back to knock on her ears.

They walked down the beach … heading back to where everything came from.

~Almas Kiran Shamim

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Half an hour

In half an hour's time, I will leave this beautiful, pleasant and calm town to go back to that bustling city with its haughty people.
To those who have loved me and cared for me, I share my heart and prayers. May the power that sustains this world shower upon you all beneficence.
Another night spent travelling. Voices that speak of love even in words so casual. Mountains. And a hollow in your heart. The not knowing what happens. That out of body feeling.
And warmth.

Thursday, 11 February 2016


They are strange. Those places where it can be cold. Where it can be hot. I find it amazing and amusing how the air around you can be so cold. How do we feel coldness? Ice should feel cold. The fridge should feel cold. How can what surrounds you be cold? Growing up in a hot place which was hot all year... maybe pleasant sometimes... I never really thought about cold much. I first saw cold in Germany but that was okay. Wasn't it Europe?
And then I came here. It was exactly a year ago. It was cold then too. And then came the heat which I embraced with open arms. Not coz I like heat. But only coz I am used to it. But like all things taken for granted, heat left without my appreciations. And then it all started getting cold again. As cold as our hearts are. And it's strange. Coz nothing gets cold. I mean food gets cold. But, this is like a ghost. All around you. Touching you. Like a pervert. Making you touch it.
And then it will be hot again. Then cold. Then hot. Then cold. Hilarious.
When I was a kid. There lived a sea. That will always be my favourite sea.

Sunday, 24 January 2016


Yet another departure... life is full of arrivals and departures. Samajh nahi aata ki aise zindagi ka kya matlab ho sakta hai. Kya sach mei bichhadna itna zaruri hota hai?
Bade log bohot se bade baat keh jaate hai. Ki materialistic hai duniya... iske peechhe mat bhago, uske peechhe mat bhago. Achha baat hai. Lekin kya sirf ek simta hua zindagi jeena chahiye? Kya tab insaan ye nahi sochega ki... kaash ki yeh kar lete... kaash ki wo kar lete.
This is another case of grass being greener on the opposite side.
Mere ko pure duniya mein agar koi sach mei pyaar karta hai to wo hai mummy abbu. Mere ko bhi sabse zyada pyar fikr unhi se hai. Fir kyu hum kahi aur hai?
Aisa bhi nahi ki hum jaha hai waha ke khokhlepan ke bare mei mer ko nai pata.
I very well understand that too. Fir kyu yeh har baar ka departure? Kyu ye har baar ka rona?

Ok. So this is the flavour of shit sandwich that i hav chosen. Aur ab yeh khana hi padega.

Thursday, 24 December 2015

May we...

May we meet
On someday
At somewhere
And then talk.
May we laugh
May we cry
And then share
What we feel
What we think
Of the world
And the stars
And the skies
Rivers, seas
And the fields
Green with grass
And the time
Which maybe
Is slower
In the space.
And angels
And the gods
Who, you know
May exist.
Or may not.
May we then
Meet again.
And again.
And again.
Until we.
Have spoken.
All we knew.
All we had
In our hearts
And our minds.
May we then
Part our ways
Move ahead
In our lives
And may we
All the while
Never know
What your name
Or my name
Even was
Coz we were
Just two souls
Meant to meet
So we did
Meant to part
So we did.
And now we
Shall move on
To other
Souls in life.

~Almas Kiran Shamim 

image source:

Random rantings..

Many bigger tragedies can happen in life. Not only “CAN”, they will. Anyway, I just need to sort out my head a bit. Now, there are people who always want to “sound” right. They may be talking absolute crap, but they speak with such authority, or I should say, they are already in positions of such authority, that whatever they utter is accepted. I truly do not believe in ‘not speaking up’. I do not accept that we should just shut the fuck up when someone is talking crap. But, this is getting very difficult for me. Coz’ it means that I’d literally be opposing people everyday, many times a day… it’ll get exhausting for me. I may as well ignore ensure that I do not lose my sanity… But, trust me ignoring crap is difficult for me.
In any case, I think I just should not talk about my own life… to them or in front of them. They do not have any place in my life personal life, at least….

I like meeting people. Not contacts. I have been hearing about this category called “contacts” ever since I joined public health. I hated it then. I hate it now. Contacts is such a dehumanizing way to look at people. Contacts make me feel like shit. As if the only worth of a person is what he she can do for you. It is ridiculous. Totally. People happen to us to enrich our lives. To bring in experiences. To teach us new things, new words, new perspectives… Of course, it is for people who are open to learning… and not people of the “above” sorts… who think they know it all. Otherwise, for normal people like me and maybe you, people are life. These people whom you meet along life’s way may help you, may not help you, you may help them, you may not help them. But, it is about ‘helping’. It is not about “contacts”.

In the past one week, I’ve been asked twice about my “Hindi”. S asked me ‘When did I learn Hindi’ and M, who, by the way, has known me for quite some time now, asked me, in relation to a job in U.P., ‘How is your Hindi?’…. I was like… dude… pleaseeee…. And then he asked me… “Oh… weren’t you from…uhhh. Nagaland?”
Khair…. I remember when Dr. J.J was taking our class, he asked us if there was any Hindi speaking person in the class… I raised my hand…. He asked me where was I from… and I told… Andamans… He said… “Ahhh no… not someone who ‘knows’ Hindi….but someone who is actually Hindi speaking”… before I could even process what he meant, he had selected his Hindi speaking person- K. Who. By the way. Is from Orissa. I so totally hated him that day…. Not, K… JJ :P
My hands are so cold… Even my heater is tired of attempting to heat my room.

Do you know? Almas is Persian for Diamond. That’s what I was named after.
It is also Spanish for Souls.

N told me today… that we work for a good life…. Work in itself is not a good life. I think that is where I am making my mistake… I am seeking a life out of my work… then another life out of life.

Cats are cotton balls. I love them. I want a bigger house. Cats should never feel suffocated.

Monday, 14 December 2015

Of mountains and seas ...

Sometimes I wonder if it really has to be this way. That we have to travel miles to sit on a cliff, looking down at a sea and muse over life? Why can't we do it back at home? Dyu know how beautiful my home town is? We have a vast ocean... little hills covered in green.... a clean and clear sky- the perfect home for those millions of glittering stars. Ofcourse it was more beautiful back when I was a little girl. When the sports complex was still called 'jetty' and joggers' park was just 'pahaad'. When the winds blew stronger than today and when literally every particle carried happiness. Happiness has turned into such an elusive emotion. We travel but we don't stay. We are so constantly on the move that even the most beautiful of places become just a tick on our bucketlist. Not that I have one. But, still... we are constantly going somehwere. When would I have time to just be?

In the past one month I have seen so many mountains. Old ones like the Table Mount and new ones like the Himalayas.. One word which constantly kept popping into my mind while I looked at the majestic mountains and the expansive ocean is "Alankar". No other word seems to fit as beautifully as "Alankar". Now, I know, God making this world would require a stretch of imagination for many today. But, that's what I grew up believing and I think it is a nice and simple and beautiful and peaceful belief- God made the world. So when God made the world, it put these mountains on the world as alankar.... Imagine a world without them.... how plain... how restrictive....  I think it has to be this way coz each hill has its own feeling. The camera in our mind captures these visions, not independent of emotions. Whether it be the snow covered Marhi... or the rocky Table mount or even that extremely beautiful hill where we stood looking over the Atlantic.... each time the majesty was a different one... even though the same....I am not yet able to give words to what I feel.... but I hope with time, my perception or vocabulary, whichever of the two is deficient... or even both, if the need be, develops. 
At the Cape Point... totally love this picture.
Travel, I believe, helps in making us realize how small we are- how insignificant even.... how we are the tiniest part of this big wholeness... if there is a wholeness at all. Travel helps you in feeling non-existent... in experiencing the out of body moments which are the most beautiful moments in life. Mountains and Seas.... They should always be together... I do not know if I love it and so should be lucky that I was born in a hilly island... or if I love it only coz I was born in a hilly island... But mountains and seas give me peace. They make me feel small. They tell me "It's Okay!".  

Everything that I want, exists here
Save you
Everything that you may want, exists there
Save me
Tell me how far is it from here to there.
Tell me if I could have wings.


Now reading ... "Crime and Punishment" by 'Fyodor Dostoyevsky'.



Educate The Muslimah !!!!


Pay Your Zakaat To The Deserving!!!

Shorten Url


Speak Out !!!

About Me

My photo
Port Blair, Andamans, India
I am exactly as you think I am!

Don't You Copy Wat I Write !!! Registered & Protected


Creative Commons License
This work is licenced under a Creative Commons Licence.