Saturday, 12 April 2008

Dearest Allah. . .

I begin in Your Name
I am so grateful to You. . For all that You have given me. . . I have shouted at You at times and been an ungrateful gal. . I know. . .Please forgive me for that. . . After all its just You. .Who else? Right? :-) . . You are our buddy.. . You know us inside out. . .Why we cry, why we laugh, why we sigh, why we quarrel. . . Nothing is hidden from You. . . Still it feels so good to talk to You. . ,
i know that the closest we are to You is during sijdah of namaz. . .But cant i talk to You just like that. . .The way i do usually. . . You know how. :-) . . I can , right ? Ha ha ha . . :-) i assume Your answer to be a yes. . . Lolz. . . Well, i haven studied anything since morning. . . Why am i not able to study God? ? ? I used to be the topper. . You remember? . . Whats wrong with me. . See i don wanto be all that gr8 coz i have realized in life that studies are a waste. . . But i just wanto pass through. . The world You have made has some stupid rules and i have gotto live in it means i have gotto follow. . If not all, atleast some. . . But please guide me in choosin my career. . . I don wanto be doin what i most probably will do if You dont give me the strength and courage to stand up against conventional norms. . . I am scared God, i am just a human. . . Please Yaar. . Help me out. . . I don wanto be so messed up all my life. . .who knows better than You what i want. . .whateva it is , it is definitely not a scientific career. . . So please help me. . . And just see me thru this mess. .You have put me into. . . You will take me out i know. . .Just help me THRU it i mean. . When its over, it ll be over. . . But While its on. . Its a hell. . . So just help me THRU it and also later and forever. . And make me a good gal. . Who obeys you in every way. . I am a bad gal. . I don wanto be one. . . And grant me khuloos at prayer. . And just be with me. . .Coz i cant move alone. . .And i am a Muslim, to You alone will i bow down, to You alone will i ask for help. . . You have always given me the bestest best. . . You love me a lot. . Dont You? :-) :-) :-) thanx. . :-) :-) :-) lolz. . . I love You too. . .Not as much. . Possibly cant. . You know it. . But i have faith in You. . .with all my heart and soul. . .Never take it away. . Coz i am lost without my faith. . . And keep me close to Huzur(SAW) coz Him i love ohhhhh soooooo much. . . Dats how humans are. . . I mean normal humans. .. . Expressing for You is difficult. . Coz You are . . . Just sooooooo beyond words. . .But expressing for a human is easier. . :-) lolz. . Hope You don mind. . :-) Take care. . Of me. . .
I end too in Your Name. .

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