Saturday, 24 January 2009

Splendid Kerala Part 2 & My Identity Crisis :D

So, the latest news is that my homesickness phase is over and I’m back in love with Kerala… no, actually.. I never was out of love with Kerala… just that the love was overshadowed by my love for home…..:D :D :D,, no place like home you see..
Today we had paid a visit to the Tuberculosis Control Centre as a part of our Community Medicine posting (well, yeah! The same posting that I am crazy about *sarcasm*sarcasm*sarcasm*) … the Dr. there was so passionate bout his work… Khudaaaa Paaaaak.. made me feel so bad… how horrible a doc I’d be…(trust me I do try to be better.. I just can’t :S) he was talking bout Tuberculosis (bout which I’m planning to write in Confrontation… he he he .. I do remember that blog of mine… just that the busy me isn’t getting enuf time to post in it…. :/ :/ :/ ) and wen he mentioned that leprosy has been Alhamdulillah eradicated from India and in Alleppey, the incidence is 0.4 in 10,000 people ….i was mad with happiness… :D :D … seriously, I feel so happy listening to Kerala achievements…. And esp Alleppey.. when you’re studying in a college, you are with people from all over the state… so, we have a lot of Trivandrumkars, Kollamakars etc… and though we do have a lot of day-schis (day-scholars, i.e Alappuzhakars ( meaning the town, not the district)), I somehow have come to believe that if Alleppey belongs to anyone in the batch, it’s ME :D :D , the same ME, who far from being an Alappuzhakar, is not even a Keralite, oh God! Does not even live in mainland India !!!!!

For the same reason (that I believe Kerala is MY state, Alleppey is MY district, Alleppey town is MY town, and Punnappra is MY locality), I give myself the freedom to talk bad bout wat is bad…… like the time wen I told that I hate Mohan Lall, a girl went off ranting things like, ‘who are you to talk that way? You are not a malayali…. You have no right to pass judgements!!!’… well, probably, I’d say the same if I were in her place… but, God!!! She hasn’t yet heard me fighting with my parents and Azhar, the moment they point a finger at Kerala….. for reasons very obvious (yet, I don’t see the need to mention them), Malayalis are not really liked by many….. I wudn say that there’s nothing bad in Mallus, but, doesn’t every community have something or the other peculiarly bad in it??????? So, I don’t understand why ‘some’ people are so anti-Kerala… newaz…. I love this state… I hate the food, but then I love this state…. Hmmmm.. but, I do like the fish curry…. They add tamarind, I think… I don know… but its like…. Mmmmmwwaaahhh!!!! I belong to Andamans where you get splendid fish…. Super Mast ….. (sea- water…. So, you cant’ say that it’s sea water- fresh water ka difference)
But, I hardly even taste fish back home…. But, do I eat fish here!!! Uff uff uff ….. I love the way they make fish….. mmmm… I hate everything else… chor and mor and maanga and tenga….. I hate it all….


I love kerala….. in fact if I was to ever award someone with the ‘best defender of Kerala’…. I’d award it to ME :D :D :D

Waise, im not really interested in doin rural service here… prime reason being the language… (people here tell that it’s the second most difficult language in the world, well.. I don’t really buy it!.. I’d have learnt it by now.. had I been in practice… I’m living alone and friends with people who are fluent in English.. so, didn’t really get a chance to learn the vernacular).. the second reason is the horrible food….. and third is that MBBS was of 5 ½ years wen we joined… Kerala Univ is lagging by 3 months…. I don’t want to be any longer stuck up with my graduation…. I don’t mind rural service…. I think it’s sort of OK… but plz… at home…. The whole of my Islands xcpt my town is rural ( I think)… so plz send me home.. I’ll do the rurals there….


I love kerala….the only place other than home where I wish to settle down…. ( Andamans, Kerala, Tamil Nadu… in that order….. I can’t imagine myself in any other place….. esp… not in the North… I don’t want to live anywhere other than South India)

Other thing that I’ve noticed is that wenever there are those ranking things goin on (I don know the name)… where states are ranked on the basis of many things….. I always am with Kerala…..:) probably coz’ I don’t have a state of my own.. Andamans is a Union Territory, not a state… I don’t really find myself connecting with West Bengal (my mummy’s family is settled in Calcutta), my own family’s native state, Frontier Province, is now in Pakistan (“NOW” in Pakistan. If you remember, until 13th Aug, 1947.. there was NO Pakistan , and definitely No bangladesh…….. so, if you are, by any chance, calling me a ‘saali Pakistani’… KICKS ON YOUR ASS….. GET LOST!!!)…. So, the only state I’m left with to call my own is ‘Shyama Sundaram Keralam’ where, I’d have spent almost 6 years of my life… prime years of my the time I finish my MBBS (hoping that rurals wudnt be in Kerala)

Hmmmm… talking of this reminds me of not having an answer to WHO I actually am, you don’t know wat a strange kind of an identity crisis this is…. I mean I, my father, my grand father, my great grand father… were all born and brought up in South India……….we have been in Andamans for a minnnnnnnimum of 127 years….. is it wrong if I call myself a Southie???? And sure… the North walas call me a Southie… coz I live here… this is my ‘state’ (or U.T, if you want to be very particular), this is my soil, I belong here…..
But, fortunately or unfortunately, my culture is still of the North (my family hadn’t bred with any pakka Southie until my own generation….. my sister is married to a half-Kerala-half-Frontier man….. my boyfriend Azhar is a half-hyderabad-half-now-in-Pak-territory (he doesn’t tell me exactly where in Pak!!! I don’t know why…. As if I will tease him or something!!! Huh!!! newaz)…. So even my sister and me are not really falling into a ‘southie’ cultural fold….. to add to it, my mum is from Calcutta (people from my own U.T are somewhat merged with the south culture, food etc) , mummy is horrified by the southern languages, she is one of those Hindikars who wonders how can a person live in India without knowing Hindi (judges please note- Hindi is Indian, Indian is not necessarily Hindi), she learnt making idlis and dosas wen I was in 11th, i.e., 5 years bak( by that time she had already been in Andamans for 26 years)…. And they were so fantastic, that I never asked mummy to make idlis again…for her, every South Indian was a ‘Madrasi’ and since now I am in kerala, somehow, every South Indian has transformed from being a ‘Madrasi’ to a ‘Maryaali’.. yupps!!! It’s gotto be ‘Malayali’ , but, my mum says ‘Maryaala and Maryaali’.. :D :D what to do????? We all still talk in hindi ….. even the pakka southies talk in Hindi.. but then they have a mother tongue and they know it…. In our case… Urdu is our mother tongue (err…. Count me off that one.. I’m stikin on to Hindi, given my proficiency in urdu….:D )… AND SOOOOOOOOOOO, when we come mainland India for our studies, in south India, I mean…. We r always branded ‘Northies’ and it actually irks me a lot…. Not that I have anything against the North (that’s actually where my roots lie.. remember??? And just in case someone wants to snigger saying ‘your roots are in Pakistan gal… you are a ‘saali Pakistani’’….. KICKS ON YOUR ASS… GET LOST!!!)…………….
And I, for one, am NOT A NORTHIE…

In my college there were a bunch of Northie seniors, who told things like ‘Southies are inferior to us, they shud be kept under our feet’…… I locked horns with them and stopped talking to the fools (I didn’t give in to their ragging… did nothin that they told me to), but just coz’ they are seniors (and we got to respect our elders :D), I let them have the upper hand by saying .. ‘ I was boycotted’… :D seriously!!!! Was i??? I lost the only group of people who spoke my language, ate my kind of food, celebrated my kind of festivals, had my kind of superstitions…….. coz’ I cannot stand people showing a middle finger to another group.. esp esp esp.. if this ‘other’ group is my group….. I was left with the malayalis who were culturally, socially, and all the other ‘ally’s dfferent…..the only thing common between them and me is that we r both geographically placed in the Southern part of India… :(
And this is the secret behind my exceptional loneliness during my college life….college life.. a period of life we hope to enjoy…. Gone down the garbage can…. Newaz….

So, the thing is….
I am no one…. I cannot ‘actually’ be an Andamani coz there is no such thing…(all Andamanis belong to some place in mainland India). (there’s only a tribe called Great Andamanese and they are uncivilized people, don’t really wear proper clother, live in jungles, and they are Stone-Age people….now ‘I’, Almas, am definitely not THAT)
I cannot be a Frontier waali (watev those people are called) coz’ it’s no longer in India, and ‘I’ very much am in India.
North Indians call me southie, and south Indians call me northie….
So wen someone asks me , “where are you from”
I say, “andamans”
They ask, “ok andamans.. but, where from?”
I say, “Andamans”
They ask again, “I meant, which is ur native place?”
I say, “Andamans”
They don’t stop and ask again, “but, everyone in Andamans belongs to some place.. some state in India”
I feel like saying, “abbey sale! Don’t you know Andamans is also a PLACE and it is also IN INDIA”
But, I don’t say that… instead I say, “Peshawar nativity, sir!”
And they go,,,, “ohhhh Peshawar…!!!!! Pakistan alle????” with a look that deserves “KICKS ON YOUR ASS…. GET LOST!!!!”
Having got entirely fed up of reminding people that Pakistan DID NOT EXIST back then, I now say, “Andamans sir!!! Am a native of Andamans”
And now I get a look that reads, “oh so you are a Stone-Age tribal wearing clothes and speaking English!!! Cool!!!” :D :D :D I like this look better than the other :D :D :D

Huh!!! so , we the people living in Andamans, who lost our ‘natives’ with the creation of a country called Pakistan, who don’t belong to any other place in India…. Somehow believe that yes something like ‘Andamani’ does exist…. Whether you call us qaidi ke bache (children of the prisoners… :D :D :D yupps!! That’s what we are…. Ours was British Raj’s penal settlememt for this part of the world :D :D), jungli, tribals, jarawa (the oldest existing people on Earth), or kaalapaani (blackwater….. life imprisonment in Andamans was given the name kaala paani )… we r happy….:) :) :) ……… thank you God…:) coz all in Andamans are either tamilians, or biharis, or rajasthanis or whatevs….
But, we.. we the people who lost our homes to Pakistan…. We call ourselves…..Hindustanis or Andamanis….. we have an entire chain of islands all for ourselves (you can out the no. of such families on your fingers!!!) errrrrrrr…….. ya… we do share it with those negroid and mongoloid tribals……. And our dearest Nicobari bhaiyyas (also tribals!)…….but then, its ok…. :) :) :)

Ending this very very long post…..

(and I don’t know what shud be the name of this post…. Shud it be Splendid Kerala part 2 by the way it started or…. My Identity Crisis …by the way it ended :D :D :D)


Allah hafiz

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