Thursday, 28 May 2009

Love Across The Miles.......


I seriously think that ur boyfriend (lets keep it to boyfriends coz’ talking bout husbands is kind of beyond my capacity) shud be someone like you and not really complementary. Ya, we may feel the need for some variety in life… but trust me the need for similarity is way greater than the need for variety….

Imagine a boyfriend studying your own course…. You both know which subjects are hard, which are easy, ….. you know how to go about your studies, … you know about your field so you can actually talk bout it, you can have common careers… you can understand wats difficult to be achieved and wats not….imagine..
Imagine a boyfriend in your own college….. you are together in the canteen…together watching the matches, together in the intermeds…. Together in the garden… together in the functions, together working, together relaxing… having the same hospital, the same teachers, same selctions, same text books… knowing all that the other knows.. same gossip, same weather… imagine
Imagine a boyfriend who is in your own class and not a senior….. someone who will be having exams wen u r having examz and hols wen u r having hols…imagine..
Imagine a boyfriend in ur own batch (I mean ‘clinics batch’ )… better still, in your own unit…. You go take cases together, you examine patients together…. Your end-postings are on the same day…. You stand in the verandah waiting for ur turn to answer the viva--- together…, you can have combined studies…, you can be together in the college bus… you attend the same treats… you have common friends, you have common classes, ….imagine……
If not anything, imagine a boyfriend in ur own state…. Having the same state holidays, having to learn the same languages, celebrating the same festivals, and above all, talking on ‘local’ instead of ‘std’………imagine……

Fine………. Forget bout it all… imagine a boyfriend who loves reading…. Who reads good buks and suggests you authors… someone with whom you can sit and discuss sensible things….who loves history, religion, arts, astrology, cats, mysticism, philosophy, literature, family, freedom, ……………imagine

My boyfriend is an engineer. Full stop. No comments on engineers.
He studied in a college very different from mine, his was a private college with everything hi-fi, and mine is a Govt. college. His college was in a metro and mine is in a tiny town in Kerala.
My boyfriend was a senior at school…. We were never together… I was in 12th wen he left for Chennai for his graduation (there are no professional colleges back home)… I was left behind imagining things, feeling insecure and crying myself to sleep….
And since he isn’t in my class or my course, no question of him being in my batch.
We were in the same state for three years. Then for one year I was in Andamans and he in Tamil Nadu. Then three years, me in Kerala and he in Tamil Nadu. And then nine months me in Kerala, he in Andamans. And now, me still in Kerala, he in Karnataka.
He doesn’t like reading, he doesn’t have favourite authors, we never ‘discuss’, he doesn’t like history, religion, arts, astrology, cats, mysticism, philosophy, literature… he likes family- his own- of which I am definitely not a part. He likes freedom- from me- and bondage to all things not me.

And yes he like ManU. And there’s a match today. So, we wont speak.
And yes he likes Ronaldo, he likes Ronaldo’s history, Ronaldo’s religion, Ronaldo’s arts, Ronaldo’s astrology, Ronaldo’s cats, Ronaldo’s mysticism, Ronaldo’s philosophy, Ronaldo’s literature, Ronaldo’s family, Ronaldo’s freedom.
And of course, he likes the city called Manchester, the countries called Portugal and England, the colour red, the ball called football and the continent called Europe.

And now imagine a boyfriend who’s in ur course, ur college, ur class, ur batch, ur unit, ur state and doing everything that you like doing….
And then tell me wat wud you want him to do to show that he loves you…..
How wud you know if he misses you?
Will he know wat it is to miss you?
Will you know wat it is to miss him?
Will you know wat it is to be without him?
Will you know that it is he whom you really want or someone else?
Will you trust him to go away somewhere alone?
Will you know that if you go ‘out of sight’, wud you be ‘out of mind’ or not?
Will you know if your relation can survive differences?
Will you know you can be with him even went there is nothing to talk about?
Will you know how to share your man, which you will be forced to at some point of time or the other?
Will you understand if, one fine morning, he develops a passion for a Portugese man living in England?
Will you ever….. ever …ever know how it feels to look at him after one whole year?
Will you know how it feels to say good bye at airports ?
Will you know how it feels to save money for phone calls?
Will you know how it feels not to know any common friend and yet know them all?
Will you know wat is insecurity?
Will you know how to overcome insecurity?
Will you know if you relation can survive insecurity?
Will you know how to carry the scent of his cologne until the next time you meet him?
Will you know if he’d forget you if you were gone for a month?
Will you know how to capture the moment of his waving to you at the railway station…. and holding that moment in your heart.. in your mind…as a living scene in you eyes until you can live that moment again?
Will you hold on to the pens, news papers, toffee wrappers, mineral water bottles that he touched just coz you cant have his touch?
Will you know if he loves you for what you are…. Whatever?
Will you know if you love him for what he is… whatever ?

I seriously think that ur boyfriend (lets keep it to boyfriends coz’ talking bout husbands is kind of beyond my capacity) shud be someone who complements you and not really LIKE you. Ya, we may feel the need for some similarity in life… but trust me the need for variety is way greater than the need for similarity….

"Bachpan ki mohabbat ko
dil se na juda karna
Jab yaad meri aaye
milne ki dua karna"

Allah hafiz


Millz said...

As Salaam Alaikum, sis!

You sound so sad in your posts recently. InshaAllah things will get easier for you.

Relationships, romantic, friendships, whatever, are super hard. It takes a lot of work from both sides. What works in one situation may not work for another. Being alike doesn't guarantee happiness and being complimentary doesn't either. It's all so complicated...

JaLpArI - tHe MeRmAiD said...

Walaykum assalam millz :)
how are you dear? . . . Its been so long since you updated your blog. . .

well. . . Ya. . . Happiness and sadness are both parts of our lives. . . Thats the way it works. :)

and you are so right in saying that relations are very complicated. . .
but, well, i think we need to make the best of wat we have. . . I need to see the beauty in my life, to know and recognize and appreciate all that i have. Otherwise it will be difficult to move ahead. . . 'Count your blessings' kind of thing. . . So when i think of all that i am missing, i sit down to write all that i have which others are missing. .
and :) :) :) i think i have a lot. Alhamdulillah !

Falling Up said...

I hope everything gets better. I personally think boys are retarded and not worth my time, but I hope everything works out for you guys. :)

JaLpArI - tHe MeRmAiD said...


"i personally think boys are retarded"

:D :D :D :D :D
that was sexy.....

Millz said...

Eeek I know it's been soo long since I updated! I need to work on that! I'm glad that you're able to count your blessings. I think we ALL need to do that more often (especially me hehe).

LOL at Falling Up. Boys are definitely a little slow sometimes


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