Saturday, 6 June 2009

Dearest Allah

Aur Allah Paak.. kya haal hai? Sab kushal mangal?
Bilkul…aapka kuchh bigadta hai kabhi?
Mere ko kasam se itna desp lagta hai na kabhi kabhi ki kya bole… matlab ki I feel sad coz of koi cheez samajh lo.. and tab I feel so left alone ki jaise aap mere ko hata diye bilkul.. fir who sochte sochte hi I realize ki yahi Allah to kitne pyaare hai… kitna kuchh dete hai mere ko…kasam se mere ko kuchh samajh mein nahi aata.
Koi koi cheez maang mang ke thak jata hai insaan aur aap tabi bhi nai dete.. aur koi cheez ko ungli lagao aur mil giya… abhi dekho kitna bari mere ko lagta hai jaise ki aap who dukaan me kaam karne wala ladka log ka tareh hai… humlog jaate hai aur bolte hai .bhaiya yeh aur woh nikal ke saamne rakh diya… bhaiya woh, aur woh nikaalke samne rakh diya.. kabhi kabhi aap itna perfectly sun lete hai… aur kabhi kabhi to khuda khuda!!!! Lagta hi ki jaisa aap bhul gaye ki mere ko bhi banaye the kabhi aur dale the duniya mein. Seriously, Allhuakbar is not yuhi… kasam se matlab hai baat mein!
Fir woh jo funda hai ki Allah woh deta hai jo us waqt hum log ke liye sahi hai.. aisa karke ek message hai na, abhi khayal mein nai hai theek se. woh message ko maanti hai hum pura tareeka se. lekin fir bhi yaar… and mummy keeps saying bout the kubuliyat ka ghadi… yeh kaisa co incidence hai God ki har unimportant baat maangne time hi hota hai mera kubuliyat ka ghadi??? Ya ki aisa hi ki jo mere ko mil gaya us ka kadar nahi hai.. is liye abhi retrospection me im telling ki woh saara cheez unimportant hai.
Dekha jaaye to mera paas bohot hai… I mean kaafi hai Alhamdulillah.
Chalo theek hai, namaaz padhke continue karenge . ok.
Aur yaha mein who ladki log ko kaam karta dekh ke mere ko kitna ajeeb lagta hai.
Mere ko maloom nai rehta ki hum react kaisa karna. Aap to mere ko Malayalam bhi nai sikhate. Are, agar Malayalam sikha dete to itna saara problem hota hi nahi..lekin shayad agar Malayalam sikha dete to hum yeh likh nai rahi hoti abhi baithke.. khair! Jo kare achha hi kare.. uska koi baat nai.. bas mere ko samjha do yeh sabke peechhe ka matlab.
Allah Paak aapko mere ko rota dekh ke bura lagta hai? Thoda sa bhi? Voh 99% pyaar ka warna kya kkarte hai aap?
Mere ko sirf aapka yaad aa raha hai abhi.. strange baat hai kyuki aap to aayenge nai na chalke mera paas. Mere ko foot foot ke rone ka dil karta hai abhi, koi reason nai hai.. bas achha nai lag raha hai...Allah Paak.. suno na... mere ko bhinn bhinn karne ka dil ho raha hai...dil karta hai ki aap ho mere paas.. humlog baithe aur baat kare... aaj shaam ko i was thinking ki mere ko kabhi bhi aapko marne ka dil nai kiya.. mere me woh annihilation wala feeling bohot zabardast aata hai.. jabi bhi something isnt going rite....i think its gud .. maloom nai…. Kisko kya malom hai?
Fir kabi kabi I think ki shayad I always miss you coz I know ki filhaal no one else is mine. You know na mera matlab.. ki aap to sarvvyaapi sarvgyaani hai.. to dat types mein I think… to I think ki shayad if I find people in my life, maybe I stop missing you.. and that feeling saddens me… I don’t want you to leave me.. and I don’t want you to let me leave you. Lekin fir kya iska matlab humko log mangne ka dua nai karna??? Hum akela rehna kya hamesha?
Shayad waise hi rehna hai mere ko. Kya pata? Mummy bolti hai ki aisa nai hota… lekin mere ko abhi utna zyada nai sochna hai. Bas itna sochna kaafi hai ki aap bura to nahi karte mere saath. To bas. Fir ab jo chahe karte jaao.. bas yeh faith nai le lena.. tab problem ho jayega.
Aapko maloom hai? Mere ko sahi mein aapse milne ka dil hai... bas baat karne ke liye.. aap chaho to mere se promise le lo ki i wont ask for anything. Agar waisa lagta hai aapko.
Lekin khair ab chhodo…
Aap kya mast cheez hai pata hai. Sahi mein. :) kitna baari aap waisa kaam karte na ki ‘dekkhhaaa… ab bolo hum rite tha ki wrong?’… sahi mein .. mazaa aa jata hai… gir gir ke hasne ka dil karta fir.. i mean apna upar...waise thanks ki aap mere ko samjha dete hai ki aap rite the... lucky hai hum Alhamdulillah.. kitne unlucky hai woh log jinko aap dur kar dete apne se. Jinko aap woh ’Dekhaaaaaaa!!’ wala cheez nai karte,,, thank you uske liye.. aur thank you to waise bohot saara cheez ke liye.. mera ungli, aankhi, lappy….
:) and thank you for ending it on this note.. I can die for this feeling.. thanki youi.
:) isliye aapka naam hai Qahharu… Irresistible…sahi me.. cheez hai aap bhi…
Aur ha.. mere ko maloom nai ki iska wird karna chaiye ki nai… I mean im kind of scared.. ab aap dekh lo.. jo theek lagta hai karo…
Hmmmm… mere ko sad mat karna Allah Paak…
Ek achhhhhhhhaaaaa wala gaana bolo...
I believe in angels...
Something good in every thing i see..
I believe in angels
When I know the time is rite for me
I’ll cross the stream
I have a dream…
Aur mere ko Malayalam sikha do na please.
.......
Be with me.
Aaur mere ko voh jo message aaya, to maloom hai mummy kya boli? Boli ki ‘who ending me yours lovingly sab nahi likhte tum log? Usse bhi nahi maloom chal sakega kiran?’
Mummy bhi meri kamala hai…
Mere aas paas sab ke sab kamaal hai......
Aur mere fone kharaab jo kar diye aap... uska???? Ab kya karna kiran?
Ummmmm.... neeewwwwwwwaaaaaaazzzzzzzz.....
Pop pop.. dher saara.
Luv u.
Tatas.



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