Here is the comment that I had mentioned in a previous post… I had pasted the link to it….
Here im pasting the whole comment….
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Long Long time back I commented on this forum that India needs a Lenin. Maoists will do their ideology will do but not their methods. It makes me wonder @ times if the Maoists really want to uproot the evil why not assassinate the politicians instead of the Policemen.
Jalpari ur ideas are gud but truth be said u need somewhat more realistic. I suggest introducing deliberate disengagements in rural and city economy. Their inter dependency has taken away the self sufficiency aspect from the rural economy. As far as health care is concerned then i still believe its way way cheaper in India than in other countries.
But if u honestly introspect u know nothing concrete shall ever happen. The system is flawed the citizens are guilty and such is the ever expanding enormity of the problem that the system needs a complete shutdown in order to repair it. Redistribution of wealth, an idealistic Lenin anticipated society. But India is going through a transition it will not slow down, shut down is completely out of question. At the end of the day most of us will look @ ourselves with guilt ridden faces, questioning our commitment to the cause of Humanity and then will walk away saying 'Is duniya mei jisne aphsos kiya uspe aphsos karne ko koi na mila'
I truly appreciate your concern dear friend but you shall not be able to change anything not a hundred like you nor a thousand. you will contribute with all ur energy but @ the end of the day what you shall achieve is a white spot in this black universe. nothing else :( :(
13 May, 2009 14:24
This comment is haunting me.. literally HAUNTING…..
I haven’t replied to it yet…. Firstly coz I read it wile on my mobile (and as always cudn post the comment), secondly coz I wanted to write such a lot of things that it wud take a long long time to write (oh…….. :D … I repeated an adjective…..kitna waqt ho gaya tha since I last repeated adjectives !) and I didn’t have the time to. Thirdly, coz it was by an Anon. And above all, coz twas so ‘discouraging’. Like I told in a previous post…. No one needs to actually discourage me… I change my course pretty well and smooth… and if I don’t want to change my course… you do wat you may, inshaAllah I wont and I don’t. Besides, I hate blaming the world for something going wrong in ur life. I blame it upon God. I hate saying that I shud be loved by someone wen I am myself not true in my love to him. I hate complaining wen I cant praise. And so I hate people who think and act in any of the ways I just mentioned. I, 9 times out of 10, block them from my life.
I don’t think bout them. I lock them up in a dungeon full of ghosts and throw the key away into a black hole.
If I aint compatible wid you… I aint keeping u in my life…
If you hurt me… your chapter is closed.
I don’t need ‘pull-downers’ in my life… I can pull myself down pretty well.Thanks!
But, it’s most amazing that an Anon comment that was so ….ummmm… kind of annihilating….i mean… something that kills the hope for goodness…….
…such a comment cud make so much room for itseld in my mind…
This comment keeps popping into my head every now and then… in a ‘Dekhaaa bola tha na!!!!’ kind of way….
No… I aint changing my beliefs or myself even remotely coz someone somewhere in the world is awaiting a Lenin…. But, I’m still amazed that a very normal comment cud hit so hard at me. Considering I have been showered with such a lot of love in so many comments .. huh!!!
Day before yesterday, at the college canteen, the chettan who serves us told me something very strange… well not really strange.. but, khair!
I have been in this college for such a long time now… I’m presently writing my Pre-final Year exams… and I have been eating at this canteen all these years.. the same chettan has been serving me ‘chaya’ and ‘kaapi’ all these years…. And I have been saying him ‘thanks’ all these years , each time he serves me something….
He brings me the chapatti-kadla, I say thanks
Then he goes round serving others
Then he brings me the chaya. I say him thanks
Then he goes round serving others
Then he brings me my parcel, I say him thanks…
But that day… wen I told him thanks… he laughed at me and told ki “wats the point in saying ‘thanks’… you are paying for it alle?”
And the people who heard him started laughing… well….
It was then that this comment again showed its ugly head.
in any case...i went to the canteen aaj fir.. the same chettan came and served me the chaya and i said, 'thanks'...
life goes on for him...
life goes on for me...
I don know if there’s much of a link between the two or it’s simply me and my tanhaai ka effect…but.. I believe this comment speaks of a very sad truth. That… anything positive doesn’t really matter much in today’s world…
Whatever you do will go a waste if the others are not there to recognize it as good.
This part of it is sp true… but, wat I don understand is how not to believe in a greater good? How not to feel that there’s something more meaningful than the superficiality we see around us? How to keep blaming someone else, a mortal, for all the wrong that’s ever happened to me? How to keep expecting for someone else to come in and solve all my problems for me?
Im sorry! I cant do it.
i cant stop being myself, I cant stop believing, I cant stop trusting, I cant stop hoping…….
Yes, there are problems in the world.
Yes, these problems may never end….
But, shud I let this ‘end’ stop me from doin something that I believe is rite?
For all I can think… I wud rather remind myself that ‘yaar… newaz it’s all goin to end..so why bother hating?’ in stead of telling myself that since there’s not much hope in the first place, you rather stop hoping.
I cant let my hopes, my feelings, my actions be dependent on someone else….
I cant wait for a lenin to come and set things straight…
If I need something to be done…. I shud be pessimistic enuf to know that no one will do it… and then I shud be optimistic enuf to know that even a small part contributed by me does make a difference.
I need to keep going.. even if it’s only to meet the ‘end’… I cant be stagnant.
That’s the not the way it works…
Going by that concept, I shud stop studying, stop eating, stop doing everything that I do… coz’ wat I deserve will come to me… isn’t it? coz’ newaz im goin to die… coz newaz the world will end…
But am I doin it? no, I continue to study.. continue to eat and go about my life as usual…knowing it well enuf that all this is of no use… coz I guess, that’s how God wanted it to be….we r not meant to be stagnant…
We need to keep moving …
Moving without expecting that someone will help us to move….
Coz well… this someone is also just a plaything for God, like I am.
We need to keep doing our part… however small it is… without expecting returns from the people…coz the moment we start feeling that we shud get this in return for our actions, we end up being screwed…people are not always as we want them to be….
But we shud also realize that there are certain basic things in life.. of ‘returns’…these are certain fundamental gifts of life… which are served unto you as long as you live by the fundamental duties to life….
So we shud keep doing our duty.. our share …our part….
And then let it go…. However difficult it is…
For undoubtedly, if u r good, good will come to you…
In ways and means beyond the understandin capacity of a mortal mind.
And if you don’t want to contribute… gr8…don’t…
But, then it’s silly to think that there wud be anyone to come and lift you out of the mess….
Who kehte hai na..
‘be the change you want to see’
.. waise hi…
Be the Lenin you await for….
And if you cant be Lenin… don’t discourage me from being me.
Btw… I had a beautiful day Alhamdulillah..
Paper didn’t go well… drop that!
Amuda thanked me for being the ‘reason’ why she’s happy now-a-days… :)
Spoke to Mohsin after a very long time… I totally love Mohsin! He is such a wonderful person… so not like me… and yet… he’s so nice…I can go on talking to him.. on and on and on…
Anisa has taken a new sim… I think her messages are free…she sent me a few messages… :) she never does…
Spoke to mummy bout a very thing that happened at home today… funny and sad .. let’s stik to funny…
Someone sat near me…. Someone who makes my heart skip a beat each time my eyes fall upon him… :)
My day is made!
P.S- if I ever reply to this comment.. im goin to post the reply here…not now, newaz..
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