Thursday, 30 July 2009

Done With Examz.. Uffff....

A few pics we tuk today....

Me... Amuda... Anisa.. in the bus... We r returnin from the hospital after our ENT practical exam....

dats me.. Amuda.. Anisa...(front) and Anisha Fathima and Afzal (back)...

Anisa and Amuda...

Ani on phone...

No idea y am i laughing!!!!!

So our exams are finally overrrrrrr...
Allah hafiz

Monday, 27 July 2009

All that glisters.....:) :) :)

Alhamdulillah today's exam went well.
not in a mood to study today.
Gotto wash clothes.
Gotto have my '7 day' bath.
Gotto shampooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. (takes a loooong time)
and there's one thing that's ringing in my head

"All that glisters is not gold...
Gilded tombs do worms enfold"

And need I say who comes to my mind wen i think of these words??????

Am entirely bugged by the crapsters who send me friend request on Orkut....
the "people" with the fake profiles. I'm amazed to know that people can be so low on their self-respect..... Khuddari naam ka cheez nahi hai... pathetic!!!

I dont add faaltus.

:) :) :) :) newaz..
bak to my glistering-worm-enfolding-tombs.....


kya kare??? control nai hota!!! :D :D :D

here's wat Shakespeare bhaiya had oriinally told....

All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told:
Many a man his life hath sold
But my outside to behold:
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
Had you been as wise as bold,
Young in limbs, in judgement old
Your answer had not been inscroll'd
Fare you well, your suit is cold.

in The Merchant Of Venice....

Allah hafiz

Saturday, 25 July 2009

SFI won.......and I am Confusedddddd :/

Well… SFI won ..!!!!
All posts…
And now am feelin the same way as I had felt wen BJP won in Andamans in the General Elections…
Am feeling sad……. :( :( :(
Am sure people will kill me wen I say this… given the way I was supporting SFI… but well…somewhere in the corner of my heart.. I feel like a traitor…
I mean.. well… I didn’t vote for Congress…:( :( :( my darling congress ….. :( and I am oh-so-not-feeling-good-bout-it…
And the pic of Rahul Priyanka above the candidates makes me feel worse….

For people who don’t know.. once upon a time I was in love with Mrs.Gandhi…. I was hell-bent in joining the Congress… I had started collecting Sonia pics….. I had cried wen she refused the PMship…. In short… I was crazy bout her.. thankfully that phase has passed and now am just another Nehru-Gandhi-Congress lover….

But I have some fundas… which keep troubling me from time to time…

One of these fundas makes me vote for SFI here…

Wen I told my parents that I didn’t vote for Congress… they were like ‘why? You?? Lefty?? Blah blah!!

And wen I told abbu that in my class KSU has won, he was the same old… “Of course congress won…which other party can??”
On being told that SFI will win the ‘real’ Election…. He replied, “You will see.. very soon.. Congress will win..”

Yeh toh chalo teek tha…
Mummy toh meri gr8 hai, she told me, “Hum log ka khaandaan humesha se….blah blah”
And then she asked if I voted for SFI coz of ‘HIM’?

It was then that I realized ki many must be thinking so….
Coz’ a few days bak wen I told M that I really wanted to settle in Kerala, she told ki “haaaa, I know the reason.. coz of ‘HIM’” *rolling eyes* as if I’m goin to marry him!!! Blah!!!!

So people…
Yes, He is a leftist… but no, I didn’t vote for the Left coz of HIM…
There were elections last year too.. and I’d voted for Left that time as well…
Wen there’ll be elections next year, I mite be very much out of this MASSIVE CRUSH… but .. most probably (cant be sure.. but well.. inshaAllah..) I’ll still vote for SFI…
And the reason is a very simple one…
I don’t want coalitions…
I want the entire Union to be made of any one party..
Otherwise the same things are goin to happen that we see in the Parliament..
BJP walking out for everything….. just not allowing the sarkaar to run smoothly…
And THAT ALONE is the reason why I want the Union to be a ‘totally SFI’ union.. coz newaz…. KSU is (not yet) strong enuf in my college to be able to set up a whole UNION…
They contest for very few posts..and so they shudnt win…

My decision to vote for the Left has nothing to do wid Mr.I..

And by no means shud anyone feel that voting for SFI has made me Leftist..
I’m stil very much a Gandhi-bhakt….

And the moment I step out of this college, I’m goin to vote for Congress…..

But not in any college elections….
However bad I feel….

Wen I luk at the KSU supporters, I feel that little pang…. How bad had I wanted to openly be a Congress member…. Here I am VOTING AGAINST CONGRESS…..

:( :( :(

But welll… like I told… I just cant erase some of my fundas…
Like during these elecs at home.. I wanted Congress to win definitely.. but… I was, in ways, against it…I used to say mummy ki only ‘blind fools’ like ‘us’ will vote for Kuldeep…. Is baar BJP shud win.. blah blah….

I behave like an idiot sometimes….
It’s sadist.. isn’t it??? I mean, if I like Congress.. shudn I just go and vote for it????
Why do I fill all this crap into my head.. ki aisa nahi hona chahiye.. waisa nahi hona chahiye.. blah blah….



Good that SFI won….
But well… whatever….

Again.. im being hard on myself… I mean..dekho.. after all this is just a college election… I mean.. c’mon yaar!!! I am NOT a malayali ….. there is no ‘Left’ strength at my place… all this will end with college… I shud just in terms of my ‘college’ rite now…
And college me…KSU ko vote deke faayda nahi hai… it WONT come to power….
And if I do vote for KSU… it’ll be like… I wanted to break SFI’s vote.. it doesn’t make a difference though.. but well… the entire fault is in my ‘fundas of life’…. They are just so BLAH!!!!

Shall I reason it astrologically????
:D :D :D :D
Well.. see am a Sagi.. so I ‘judge’ … but since I have Pisces Moon… and a pathetic Cancer ascendant….. I tend to get all softy softy bout things….


I shudn bother myself wid such crap… it’s of no use…

So, well….
Amuda told me she’z happy “thanks to me”… :) :) I was happy….
Saw Mr. I… ummmmmmmmmm………..
Kamal had a minor accident
Rabia chaachi is seriously ill… in Chennai now….
AvNa Bhaiya’s car hit a ‘triple-riding-bike’…all 3 spot dead…
I got angry at mummy and abbu…
Im totally pissed out…
And I hate the world.
Allah hafiz

We lost in 90th . . . :(

SFI lost in 90th :( :( :( :(
ende afzal :( :( :( :( :(
Almas is sooo sad :( :( :( :(
Allah hafiz

:( KSU vs SFI :(

Huge KSU support here :( :( :(
we have batch rep elections too . . :( only in our batch . . :( :( :(
The batch is split :( :(

SFI - Afzal
KSU - Sangeeth

:( clinics batch C and D voting for Sangeeth . . :( A and B mostly for Afzal. . . But we can never say :(

very bad for our batch :( :(
Almas is sad . . . .

Allah hafiz

Mr. I :) Finally spoke in my Dream :) :)

Saw him in my dreams last night. . .
the place was near the Chevrolet show room. . . And we had some kind of exams there . . . When we, anisa, diji (a friend from school, dont know how she became a medico in my dream), and me, . . Come out . . And there. . . Seated royally on a bike, is my darling Mr. I . . . he is wearing a sky blue shirt (kind of like the one he wore yesterday. . )and he asks (i think) 'whom are you voting for' while lookin at me, but then he says 'diji' and turns to her. .
tab i think ki . . Oh ya, he cannot ask me that again, and so he is asking diji (thats what we spoke bout yesterday, :) . . . For 10 whole seconds . . . :p . . Bout elections :p). . And then i notice that he is injured. . . He's hurt at three places on his face :( :( :( his lovely face looks as if it really should be given a kissy :) only that.. . We wont have to ask him to bend down. . . Coz he's sitting on the bike. . :)
i ask something regardin it but he doesnt hear it, he's talkin to anisa (like people always do. . . ). . . And then . . . He says, ki "A personal suggestion, go to kantilal's tea shop (no idea why such a strange name came to my mind. . . There is no shop i know of with that name) instead of the canteen". . . And we say 'whyyyy. . . Its our college canteen after all' . . . Lolz. . . I dont remember what happened after that.

newaz. . . At least he spoke :)

Yesterday , when i told mummy bout the 10 seconds conversation, she told ki " Its good that the boy is talkin very little to you, coz you are so talkative that now when he speaks 1 word, you say 5 words. . . And if he starts saying 5 words. . You'll say 25. . . So good that he speaks only '1 word'. . . "

My mummy's SubhanAllah boy :)

lolz. . . :)

Allah hafiz

Friday, 24 July 2009

Vote For SFI !!!!!! (Mr. I will also vote for SFI :p)


I know I shudn be all blissy-blissy bout it.. but well.. cnat help it yaar!!!
Spoke to Mr. I…. :) :) :) :) *drooling*
For 10 whole seconds…………………. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Its called “Jhingalala hu hu hu hu hu hu Jhinga lala hu hu hu hu hu hu”………

College Union Elections tomorrow….
{copying it straight from Confrontation}
Tomorrow there’s an election in our college….
Anyone reading this..
“Whenever you have election.. plz vote for SFI… SFI rocks” :) :)

For Chairman-
SFI candidate- Vaisakh (92nd)..and me thinks he’s the third most handsome boy in the college.. :) :) [ the most handsome is Prasanth (88th)… and second most is Ben (90th) :) :) .. Mr. I …. Is too Irresistible to be compared to anyone….well… actually all those boys are dark.. you know I love dark men….. but Mr. I is a ‘case’ for me….. not my ‘conventional choice’…newaz..]
KSU- Sachin (94th)

For Arts Club Secretary-
SFI candidate-Rahulan
KSU- Bijith

For UUC-
SFI candidates- Jasim (that sweeto boy :) ), Biran Roy….
KSU- George (my b’day mate) .. I don know if there’s someone else… must be… newaz… I am gonna vote for SFI.. so I don really bother bout KSU….

You know wats bad bout KSU--- they use Rahul, Priyanka’s pic for campaigning…
They did that last year too…. :( :( I loooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvveeee Rahul Priyanka…. But no. that wont make me vote for KSU..ive told many times earlier…. In Kerala, I love the Left…. Whatever be my preferences outside Keralam…

And there’s goin to be elections for the batch reps too…
In 90th, Afzal is from SFI and Sangeeth from KSU…..

Wen we had joined college, there was no KSU pheSU….

Have I told u that Mr. I is a Leftist???????
I mean seriously Leftist!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not like… chumma SFI support….
That is something many of us do…. Many in our college are Congress supporters otherwise… but in college politics, we r all SFI waales….jaise ke me… anisa… baaki I don’t think I shud name…
But Mr.I is a pakka Leftist….. :) :) …

Newaz…Toh well.. mera haath definitely Congress ke saath hai.. par kal mera vote jaega SFI ko…. Lolz.... however silly that sounds.. :p

Allah hafiz.

Allah Paak!!! Thanks for a Terrific Day :) and am so sorry :(

I have read so many stories saying that a little word of kindness can change the lives of people…. If u hav ever read a Chicken Soup book, u must have read stories where people write that they were bout to comit suicide wen they received a phone call from someone or a simple hello from a policeman.. and it stopped them from commiting suicide…. Well, I totally believe in this….
And that is precisely why I love the fact that my abbu has more friends among the ‘not-so-hi-fi’ group of people…. I myself make it a point to greet everyone who is at a not-so-good-position… kyuki ameer ko to koi bhi izzat de dega.. gareeb se pyaar karne waale koi nai hote….
Moving away from the ‘riches’, if we simply look at our normal lives…. In our classrooms… we’d find people who ‘need’ others… well, I don mean ‘need’ exactly, but, I guess you know wat I mean….
Well…. Here in my college, I don’t find anyone of this category… but back in school, trust me there were quite a handful….
These were the silent kids whom people loved to bully, loved to laugh at… and who were simply very very different from the kind of gang I belonged to…

Today a scrap from someone made my day…. Made me love myself (that is if I cud love myself any more than I already do) and made my belief stronger that we shud be ‘ourselves’ and not wat people try to make us……(coz ‘myself’ is gr8 :) )

Here is the scrap:

hey no saab nd al ok...frnds rights...nd almas i respect u th most..i still remember i used to sit in one corner in class nd u used to say hii rohit.kaisa hoo...gudmorning rohit.. nd make me feel active nd live specially those days after that serious accedent...nd u gave ur notes for studies in that crucial time of 2nd monthly test exams.. i was more dippressed nd sad wth myself...but Almas u made me realize hw to live is not over..UR a very Special person nd th most respect ful one.. i may be little slow in responce w.r.t other peoples but pls don't mind dear..u knw my nature,i hope u understand...nw in Jaipur for a week in holidays wth relatives nd frnds here..thn backn to mumbai for trainings..aur mein aircraft engg kar raha hoon stream-(mech+radio nav) not during test fly(without passengers) we r supposed to fly for checking th performance nd engine ratings of aircraft..

And I cant thank God enuf for the today that he gave me…
Today is 23rd July… exactly 7 yrs ago.. on the 23rd of July, 2002… Azhar and I had patched up after a 3 month long fight. Twas not actually a fite… I had simply told him that I cudn stay wid him any longer coz I didn’t ‘trust’ him…. That was on 11th April’02 and after that he called me up on 23rd/07/02 to say that he really loved me, and missed me…..
So, we have always celebrated this day as a ‘2nd’ anniversary.. the main anniversary being celebrated each yr on 23rd Sep…. the day wen we first spoke (23rd Sep’01)…..
Had we been ‘together’, today wud hav been a happy day…..which wud hav turned sad coz Azhar wudn hav had time for me… well, newaz…

Today, I decided to again look for the reasons of God for ‘ditching’ me in the way He did … something I haven’t written in this blog, and I don’t think I’ll ever write bout…but newaz…
I sat down and started thinking (like my usual self) ki Allah Paak must have done this coz He wanted this to happen and that to happen and He knew that this wud not let it happen and that wud let it happen.. and the blah blah.. u know wat I mean….
And so I was trying to reconcile myself to a little thing which though may appear to be a small loss…. Means a lot more to me….


In the evening Allah Paak reversed all that I had been thinking, He gave me that wat I wanted…
I hadn’t been ditched.
God had only placed my call on hold….

I am happy coz’ a big burden has been lifted off my shoulders, I’m happy coz’ well… am happy….
All the things I had been feeling off-late… all of them were erased in a little second…..
But know wat???
Something in me is pricking bad…

Rewind the tape to a few days bak….
Well…. One of my dresses was spoilt and I had cursed God…. I ad let out my steam coz basically I was angry at God for “ditching” me… the dress was only a bahana.. I fought with him.. I shouted.. I demanded… and I didn’t pray.. the Miraaj Shareef ka namaz… now, of course, it is not farz… in fact, many say that we shudn pray it at all… but, well… I didn’t pray for a sole reason…”Allah, I wont pray coz I am katti with you”…

My mummy was very upset.. coz this was so-not-me… she was scared coz she didn’t want me to lose iman….
She was wonderstruck to see me behave in this way.. coz’ I’m generally the ‘Alhamdulillah alaa kulli haal’ gal…well.. so she prayed to God for a ‘miracle’…
That wud make my dress alrite again…

The next day, the dress was like nothing had happened to it…….
I was happy. I wanted to wear it on the first day of final year… I cud wear it now.
But again.. something in me was pricking bad…

I have realized that getting wat we want is not ecstatic….if u have fought with God over it… Patience is beautiful. If only I had sabr… I wudn hav fought with God.. and today I wud hav felt ki God rewarded me for my sabr and trust me I wud be flying.. but…
I failed the test….
I lost it…
I shouted at God… demanded Him to make it alrite……
I went against my core belief of ‘Teri khwahish me meri khwahish’…….
And then… God gave me the things I fought for…
I don’t feel like I have earned it.. you know the verse “Every soul gets every good that it earns..”…
I’m thankful to Allah for making this day so wonderful… for the ‘restitution’ of the dress… but I feel like…. I cant look at God straight in the eyes……..
Not that I can look at Him straight in the eyes otherwise.. but, well.. u know wat I mean…

U know … my parents always give me wat I want…. To the best they can afford…
And I feel good bout it.. gr888888

But then there are some children who tell there parents things like,”give me this or I will commit suicide”… “if you don’t let me marry this person, I will die”..

That’s the kind of child I feel I became…

I kind of EBed God into giving me wat I wanted.

Now, again.. based on another of my beliefs….. nothing happens that wasn’t meant to happen… so, definitely this was meant to happen…….but still… I wud have felt ok, if God punished me. I mean, at least, didn’t just reverse the things so smoothly…
But well. He did… making all my quarrel reduce to ash……

And well, another of my beliefs (I am a Sagittarian--- I’m a believer…:)) says me to find the meaning of this little incident …. Coz Allah Paak teaches us every moment in our lives… as long as we care to learn,,,,….
I think, God wanted to show me that the best happiness is the one that is ‘got’ or in a more religious way, ‘earned’. And I don’t mean hardwork….i mean by sincere prayes, by a total submission to God’s will and knowing that wats happening is happening for the best….
The best happiness cannot be ‘snatched’ .. it cannot be ‘demanded’…..

Happiness is served to you ultimately….but, to feel the bliss of it… you shud have gone thru the phases of waiting, of praying for it, and most importantly….. of having faith……

I waited for my happiness, I prayed for it……. but wen I didn’t get it I lost faith.
And then a silly thing made me feel that God dsnt give me anything……..

And see.. today…… I got wat I wanted……but the violins aren’t playing and there are no fireworks… the peacocks aren’t dancing and there’s no rainbow painting the sky……

All coz I know…. I lost faith…. I lost iman….
I hurt God…
Now many may feel that their actions dont hurt God.. but know wat?? I’m His favourite….so, maybe wen u r a bad gal, He dsnt care,,,,, but, wen Im a bad gal… He really gets hurt…

Its like I ask my mummy for a camera… she tells me ‘na’… I then go mad at her for not giving me anything… forgetting that she’s the one who gave me birth, fed me, washed me, taught me to walk, prayed for me, cried for me….
The next day she gives me the camera………..

I feel like…………… ungrateful gal………..
Being shown yet another gesture of grace………

Am sorry Allah Paak.
Im not really able to speak to you.
Thanks for ‘I’s thing’… thanks for the dress, thanks for making me feel bad rite now… at least, you made me realize….

Like I always say God…. Wen I’m wrong… teach me… how was I wrong….help me never do it again…forgive me…. Hold me…
Don’t ever desert me………

Thank you so much for today…. 23rd july has been made memorable in yet another way….:) :)
I don’t want to lose wat I got today… nurture it for me Khudaya…….
I want it…. and I’m ready to wait….
And if you ever see me fidgeting in the waiting room, uneasy and restless… come and give me company.. sit beside me… chat wid me… and make my ‘wait’ an easy one….
Am sorry and Thank you.
And ya thanks for Rohit’s scrap too……..:)
Don’t ever change me God..
I totally love myself :D
Alrite… change me for the better….but then you know any better wud start getting boring…:p
But that wud be a stupid prayer..:/
So, alrite.. change me for the better….:)
And welll….
I think ive lost the right to say ‘I love you’… :(
Forgive me God, and show me a sign. Make me ‘feel’ forgiven.

And thanks….. give me many many many more reasons to thank you, many many many more opportunities to thank you… :D

Make my coming days even more beautiful than the day gone….
Gotta seminar tomorrow….. help me do well.

P.S- Orkut's Today's fortune: If you want to be loved, be lovable

P.S2- Someone just called me 'a very religious gal' :D :D if only this person reads my blog, he'll know.. am so amzingly pathetic :)

Allah hafiz


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