Thursday, 13 August 2009

The Diary Of A Social Butterfly by Moni Mohsin

In one of my earlier posts, (don’t remember which one), I received a comment from a lady (don’t remember who) that my blog reminded her of a certain newspaper column (don’t remember which)…….. the only thing I remember is that it had something to do wid a ‘butterfly’.

Now wen I came home, I found that my sister had bought many many new buks…. And one of them was ‘The Diary Of A Social Butterfly’ by Moni Mohsin. I told her of that comment and she told ki haan, yahi hai who book… she too had read that comment.
So, this was the first buk I started reading.
Trust me, it’s a badhiya buk.
And sachi.. after reading the whole of it, I realized ki haan there definitely is some similarity between that buk and my blog. My sister tells ki no, nahi hai. But well.. I don’t mean ki my thots or my lifestyle is like Butterfly Khan… but the way she write is somewhat similar to my style… very Hinglish. Ab since the author is a Paki, I don know if we can call THAT language Hinglish or shud we be calling it something like Urlish… uhhh!!! Whatever…
But, khair…. The buk has been beautifully written in a complete khichdi of English and Urdu.
Another similarity I noted was the ‘repeat-adjective’ that I am so addicted to.
Besides the writing style, I found the content also kind of cool… I mean, to an extent twas ok.. but at some places I thot the ‘foolishness’ of Butterfly Khan was overdone… I really cant believe ki itni bewakoof aurat ho sakti hai. Well… pata nahi. Maybe there are. Aur the spelling mistakes were also kind of irritating.

The book is actually a compilation of bits of a column written under the same name by the same author for Pak’s “Friday Times”. And it touches many international events… the only difference being that these events are described by the view of an utterly idiotic female, who only bothers bout her make-up, her status and money… the stupid outlook that this social butterfly has, adds humour to even the gravest of situations in addition to presenting to us the dark truth that… in someway, certain sections of society are left so untouched by the happenings of the world.

There si not much ‘pondering’ that I can do over this book, coz it’s not meant for any serious contemplation…… you can only read the book and enjoy..

Waise to there are a lot of mast statements in it… itne zyada ki if I start writing all of them, I’ll find ki I have typed half of the book.. isliye.. I shall write down only a few of the thigns that I found tooo sexy….

“….And look at the Americans, also! Standing around in the bazaar scratching their heads while he (Mullah Omar) escapes from under their noses in broad daylight. And that also on a scooter! Such losers! And everyone keeps saying they are so chalaak, so chalaak they have satter-lights that can read the lines on your palms and tell your future from outer space. Humph! As far as I can tell, baba, they cant even read the number plate of Mullah Omar’s scooter. Mai tau honestly bohot disappoint hui hoon.”

“These days tau I feel so unsafe that I don’t even leave the house without reading surats and quls five-five times, and blowing hard on myself and Kulchoo. I don’t bother with Janoo because he says he is an antagonistic. So why waste my prayers on him, haina? After death I’ll go to God and he’ll go to Lenin.”

“When I told The Old Bag that Mummy was off to Mecca on Hajj she muttered something about cats and nine hundred mice or something. I tau ignored. Best hai to ignore. That seclusion I’ve reached after so man years of marriage.”

“Hai, it was so nice to see all the rich-rich, glam-glam Indians. We would’ve got a complex if we didn’t have celebrities of our own. Like Yusuf Salahuddin, who’s Lama Iqbal’s grandson. I told this glam Indian woman that he’s Lama’s grandson.
‘What?’ she said, ‘all the way from Tibet?’
And I shrugged and said, ‘Must be.’”

“But one piece of khush khabri. Now goras are saying Bob Woolmer died himself only and that nobody killed him. Dekho zara. After all those suspicious looks at our poor, namaazi, God-fearing players, and all that talk of match-fixing and poisoning and doing DMA testing of them and muttering-shuttering about bribery and corruption. Just because they have big beards and cant speak too much of English and throw the occasional match doesn’t mean our boys are murderers. I tell you, goras are so racist. If New Zealand’s or Australia’s coach had died, no one would have said a thing. Just because it’s big, bearded, brown us… Honestly!”

But of course, the bestest best is
“… on which planet do you live, baba? The sun?”

Well, there are two things to be noted
1. the lady uses ‘tau’ for my ‘to’… most of my friends also use ‘toh’ or ‘tho’ instead of ‘to’ …. Im the only foole using ‘to’ and so people keep getting confused between ‘to’ and the English ‘to’ … I think me too will change the spelling to ‘toh’.
2. I was happy to see the word ‘janamaaz’……that’s wat we use for the prayer-mat in my house. But I have never heard anyone else say that, isiliye whenever i have to talk bout the prayer-mat I use ‘musalla’ coz that’s wat most of my friends use… so well… I was happy that some other people also use ‘janamaaz’. :) :)

Khair.. chalo.. have got some kurtis to alter…. Actually mummy has altered lekin I have to wear and check ki sahi hua hai ya nahi.. mummy is screaming…………
Am goin
Allah hafiz.

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