Sunday, 22 November 2009

My Heart Will Go On and On......and On .... and On......

One of my friends has started a blog and his very first post is on ‘Hopes’…
So, I searched for ‘hopes’ in my blog coz, I’m so very addicted to ‘hoping’ ‘believing’ and other such Sagittarian stuff….
One of the search results led me to ‘Of discouragement And Hope...’ (click on the name to read the post), where my last line is "Someone sat near me…. Someone who makes my heart skip a beat each time my eyes fall upon him… :)Alhamdulillah…
My day is made!"

Off late I have been feeling very sad bout Chammu.
It hurts not to be liked back by someone u r so totally crazy about.
The past few days have been horrible. And I’m committing this to ‘Jalpari’ after a very long time, but, ya, I cant stop thinking bout him.
This has been one of the worst weeks I have had…. Well, not actually worst.. but then reeeeeaaally rrreeeaaalllyyy bad!!!!!!!!
And 99.99 % coz of Haasil urf Chammu urf Mr. I urf Kiddo… and all the other names I use for him :)
I am not used to it.. this one-sided thing I mean… I am just not used to it…
And now I like this boy like hell… and he doesn’t like me.. so it’s kind of a really sad feeling…
I almost persuaded myself to get over him, to forget him….
But then, u know it’s so not possible.
I wonder how and why.. coz all I know bout him is his name…. and ya his batch number… and his bday. :p
I don’t even know where is he posted filhaal….
I see him once in a month maybe…
And uspar bhi I have this strange problem of not being able to look at him…
Lolz… it must sound funny .. but the muscles of my neck go paralyzed wen he is around….
If he’s to my left…. I totally lose the ability of turning to the left….
If he’s to the rite, I cant turn rite…
I cant look at his face
Forget bout lukin at those gorgeous eyes!!!

It feels like a curse….
And I have been so terribly sad….
But, then I thot ki y shud I let my love be dependent on someone else’s choice.???
[you know, the typical ‘my’ kind of thinking]
I know this is a wrong thing to do, coz at the end, this will hurt me like I cant imagine…..
It has happened earlier too…
But, well….
And now wen I read this line, it melted me!!!!!!
Sure as hell!!!
Y shud I let him decide my happiness…
He doesn’t like me??? big deal!!!!

Wen I ws in love wid Shahrukh, he didn’t even know I exist….
Still, I loved him na!!!!

Atleast, Haasil knows me… he knows my name… he has smiled at me *smiles*smiles*smiles* and I have heard his voice :) I have seen him laugh and I know that he has a beautiful black and white shirt :)
Lolz…. There are so many reasons to be happy…..

I had written that post on 1st June’09….. that’s around 6 months ago…..
And no, that was not wen I started to like him… that was even further back into this year…
It’s been a long time since I like him….a really long time of liking him widout knowin anything….
I found out his name wid such gr8 difficulty….lolz… :D
God!!! I like him so much!!!!

If he came to know, he will laugh his heart out !!!
Hee hee hee :D

And yaw wen I had written that post, I hadn even spoken to him…
Ha ha ha :P
I had never thot that I’d go this crazy bout any guy….

People mite not believe me, coz people never believe me…
But this is the biggest crush I have had in my life…ab talak…
And I hope I don’t have a crush again….
I am prepared to be hurt this time, coz I know I will be hurt… badly….
But I don’t want to keep on getting hurt… again and again and again….

And now I suddenly remembered a tweet I had written that
‘You are a freezer….. I freeze wen u r around’….
Lolz… seriously…

I cant stop loving him just coz he doesn’t like me…
He is free to do whatever he wants nai???


He makes my heart skip a beat…. :) :) :) :) :)
And I don’t mind dying of Atrial Flutter….;)

Allah hafiz


Rayees said...

What if he knows how to use a defibrillator? Would you still allow the electrical system of your heart go haywire?

I know for sure that those who talk of hope and light-at-end-of-the-tunnel do not die for trivial matters.. :D :p

hembromanil said...

Didn't I mention that besides "hope" you need to have courage to pursue for what you believe in? Results can be bad but its better than living in doubt..

JaLpArI - tHe MeRmAiD said...

What if he knows how to use a defibrillator? Would you still allow the electrical system of your heart go haywire
i didnt understand this part brother...

ya....:).. iguess i wont die of it... :)
hopin for miracles :)

ya...:) we need to pursue our dreams....
ultimatle we get wat is meant for us...
nothin more.. nothin less... :)


Now reading ... "Crime and Punishment" by 'Fyodor Dostoyevsky'.



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