Monday, 21 December 2009

Dearest Azhar

Dearest Azhar,
You know wat you mean to me.. don’t you? It’s amazing how I keep coming back to you. It’s amazing how you are here even when you are not…. it’s amazing how I don’t need to think of wat to talk wen talking to u…it’s amazing how I still cant accept that you no longer belong to me..it’s amazing how I still believe…..
I was saying a few days bak that our deepest desires manifest as intuitions…. Maybe I am right… maybe I am wrong….
Whatever be the case, I feel….i believe….you can even say that I Know.. that you and me.. we r meant to be….
It’s amazing how I cud be thinking of one person the whole day… every single moment… and yet just a single thought of yours weighs heavier than all those moments I spent thinking of someone else.
It’s amazing how ….still….wen I am happy the one person whom I want to share it with is you….wen I am sad, the one person who make me alrite is you.
You remember? I used to tel u that I dedicate that song to u, that song from Dostana…’tu hai toh I’ll be alrite’…I don’t think that feeling will ever change….
There’s only voice, as of now, that can set things alrite in my life.
Sometimes we need to let go of things, we just need to….there’s no way out. Coz holding on makes u a fool. I did just that.
Many say that we shudn expect things….yes, I totalyy agree… wat Krishna had told… Karm kar fal ki apeksha mat kar….
But, tell me Azhar…is it possible?
Is it possible for me to love and not to expect love back ?
I don’t think it’s possible,,,even if it is.. it is very very difficult….
So wen I do something, I expect to be treated in proportion to wat I did, not more and never less….
Wen I don’t get it back, I can appease myself by saying that its ok.. I shud do my part…and leave the rest to God..
But then, if it goes on for too long…. There accumulates so much within me, that I break….
At least, I know that I did my part.. and Alhamdulillah I did it wel..
Didn’t I do my part well Azhar?
That’s all…
It’s amazing how I still wonder bout ur career.. its amazing how I still cant take the fact that u mite…..MITE… marry someone else.
Wat happened was of utmost importance…. Coz u see God had to save us in someway. Maybe by taking us away or maybe by bringing us back later…
And if we do come back.. ever….
I will know that dreams do come true…..
And I will believe in those Paulo Coelho words, modified into ‘Itni shiddat se maine tumhe pane ki khwahish ki hain,…..’
And I will be a certified fairy… coz’ life wud be a fairy tale….
And I had written earlier that
“Life is a fairy tale as long as you believe you are a fairy”
So, perhaps.. it’s all in the belief.. it’s all in the perception…
In that case…. Whatever happens, a fairy I definitely shall be… but then again..
Isn’t it amazing how… the first name to pop up as the prince for my tale was you.


Life moves on… and I have moved on.. and you have moved on….
But, love remains… love never dies… and I am not saying this coz I have heard it in movies…
I am saying this coz I really believe…..
This love is special….. things don’t work out always…. But that doesn’t mean the effort wasn’t worth it.
"In life, I shall laugh, I shall cry…without you..
I shall talk, I shall work… without you..
I shall talk, I shall work… Without you…"




“In life, I shall laugh, I shall cry…. I shall talk, I shall work… I shall talk, I shall work…” is sufficient in itself….
But the fact that I mentioned a “Without you” speaks a lot…..if u care to listen….


And know that all is well always…. Everything is unfolding as it should…


Allah hafiz






1 comment:

Mohammad Azharruddin said...

i dn believe in wat others tell u,
nd i am nd will always remain a fool,
coz i m dat looser who lost de best gem in de world,de rare diamond, nd i swear de one who finds u,will be de best nd luckiest person,nd i am sorry for everything,coz u are and wil always be my best bestest friend,coz u are de best and de whole world knws it,de genuine heart JALPARI

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