Sunday, 30 August 2009

What A Pic!!!


Here is a pic i found at The Hijablog....... I find it awesome (though i dont know the history ys geography of the pic).

Allah hafiz

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Allah and Me and a few other things...


Ive got lots of work to do, actually study. But am in a mood to write, so I think I will write. In fact, this will be a copy of the words that I told to two people today, one – my mummy, second-a gal whom I wud nt name.
Well, the thing is that life is tough. For most of us, im sure. Lekin the smart ones are those who realize that they are being made to face difficulties coz they have ‘it’ in them to face difficulties.
While I don’t know wat an agnostic’s approach wud be to the same thing, more so of an atheist. But I think that a believer, any believer, knows better.
Allah Paak says in the Qur’an Paak that we are only given the problems that we have strength to bear.
Here is the verse in English:
“On no soul Allah places a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray) ‘Our Lord! Do not condemn us if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Do not lay on us a burden like that which you laid on those before us; our Lord! Do not lay on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector, help us against those who stand against faith.’”
The Holy Qur’an 2:286

This is one of my most favourite verses in the Qur’an…. This was also the one of the first things I wrote and pasted in my room wen I joined college….
It’s pasted on the wall in front of me, rite now… as im typing this…. There are two Verses here..
One being the one I already wrote – verse 286 from Al-Baqarah and another from Al-Imran Verse 125.
These are two of the most special verses for me.
So I was saying ki, Allah doesn’t give us a difficulty that we don’t have the strength to bear. So, if there’s a problem in our life, we shud realize ki yaar! I’m being made to go thru this coz I CAN go thru it.. and those people laughing around… probably, they are weaker.. and prolly they wud break if faced wid such a dificlty.. and that is exactly why God isn’t giving them the problem that He is giving you.

You know wen God created Adam (A.S), he made lots and lots of parindas (winged creatures) emerge from Adam’s back- these were the souls of all the people who were to live in this world, including me, abbu, mummy, my great grand child (if there’d be one), my great grand father..; then Allah divided these parindas into two groups, one to the right and one to the left. The ones on the right were to go to Heaven and the ones on the left, to Hell.
Wat I mean to say is ki everything is pre-determined. Everything. Nothing is gonna change. Allah has written it all for us and so He knows. He has made us all and we all have a part in this grand story that God has written. Our part can be done only by us. Wat’s coming my way in this life is coming only coz I was meant to do it. it’s my destiny.
And if there’s something harsh happening to me, it’s coz it had to happen to me, coz wen God made me, He mixed in that extra strength that was needed to face this difficulty. He didn’t add that little extra strength in you, prolly and so you wont be able to bear it if ever faced with it.. and that’s precisely why you aren’t facing it … coz’ “On no soul Allah places a burden greater than it can bear”………..

And remember, each little thing that is happening to you, is teaching you something.. only if you care to learn…. And each little incident in ur life is mouldin you, only if you keep urself labile. So, wats happening today is a lesson that u r learning that’s gonna make u whole.. make u according to that which God has planned to make you, whatever it is.
And am very sorry if you don’t believe in God!

Wen Allah takes away someone from ur life, there are a few things u need to remember:
1. the work of this person in ur life is over.- Shilpa had this poster in her room, which had this beautiful poem.. I don’t remember a single line of it abhi, lekin one of the lines had something to do bout not regretting over the people who go away coz every person in our life has a part to play (just like all of us have a part to play in the drama of life) and after their parts are over, they go.. coz they are no longer needed. So, now if u have someone, it’s coz’ that person’s role in ur life is remaining…. Wen it’s over… wen he/she has to be taken over by someone else….this person will go.
2. You are being made self-dependent. We tend to live life dependant on people… be it our mummy, our friends, our colleagues. Wen God takes away someone, He’s trying to set you free from ‘dependance’ in that part of ur life. While it can be very difficult to deal with, remember- ‘the strongest of irons is that which goes thru the hottest of fires.’…………………………………….. wen u have a work that you will have to do alone, you can either do it alone, or not do it and take the rap. Well… beter do it alone, however bad, however good. You did something atleast.. and hey! You did it all on ur own!
3. There are only two ……….ONLY TWO …….people who’ll remain wid you.- First - Your Creator and second - You.

Now. I somehow, got talking bout all these things to this gal (whose name I wont tell) and told her ki wen God is giving u a pain, remember that He’s also given u the strength to bear it and prolly others are nly ‘fools’ who wont be able to go thru it.
Her reply was ‘wudn it be better to be called a fool than suffer so much’.

Well… my dear.. I didn’t mean that u r being CALLED a fool by people, I meant that God has made u a fool… and to be put in better words, I meant that God has made u lesser in strength than someone else in the department of ‘facing difficulties’…. God has made you weak from the inside… if u get wat I mean…
And if you are happy being THAT… I can only lament upon the mentality u have. I told her the same and well….. she’s a Christian herself, so obviously she understands wat I meant. Tho she told ki haan she knows it’s a bad attitude but she doesn’t like being hurt.

Trust me dear, very few people in the world wud stand up and tell ki they like being hurt.
I can only thank God for not making me you.
I do pray to God to make my life easier, but that doesn’t mean ki it’better to be a coward than being courageous. It’s always better to be courageous. And so I pray ki God make my life easier and whatever it is that u want me to go thru, be wid me thru it.. take me thru it, help me thru it.

The same gal also told me something bout a rosary that irritated me like hell. Well, so this gal was given a rosary by another gal who is super religious… now, this gal later told me ki rosaries can guide you to the right path… especially if they are rosaries that are directly blessed by the priest… so, well this gal was given a rosary by the super-gal and since that day, there were huge problems in this gal’s life… in her love life, to be precise. And one day suddenly it struck her that haaaaannn it’s happening coz of the rosary, since she’s having a love affair (which is not allowed in Christianity as also in Islam), the rosary is destroyin the love affair to guide her to the right path.
She gave away the rosary to another girl.
She told me ki she knows it very well that she is doing wrong as a Christian but she doesn’t hurt anyone, so she doesn’t want to be hurt.

I think there couldn be a person who’s a bigger crackpot than a person who rejects the Guidance that comes his way.
While I don’t know if this belief bout the rosary is a general Christian belief or not or it’s something that this girl personally believes in, all I can say is that if I believed something to be a Blessing from God…I wudn InshaAllah ever shun it away, and I pray to Allah that I never behave in the way this girl Is behaving.
For all I know is that if I eat something after reading “In the name of Allah, Most Beneficent, Most Merciful”, and then I get food poisoning……. There cudn be anything better than food poisoning to happen to me at that time and that place.

I saw something….. at night.. and then I saw it disappear…
I SAW something for the first time (besides that hand), I generally feel…
Newaz, it’s Ramzaan, and Shaitan is locked away somewhere, so I think it must be something good. Don’t know.

Yaha pe koi kisi ka dost nahi hai.

Im starting fasting from tomorrow, inshaAllah.. so Ramzaan Mubarak to me :) :) :)
A certain blogger has a written a post where she says how she ‘hates’ Ramzaan.
Well…. I love Ramzaan. It’s tough. But, I believe it’s the biggest festival of Muslims. Yes, it’s not a festival. Yet, I say it’s the biggest festival for Muslims coz well… think of it… this is the most Happening month in the Year…there’s such a lot of ummmm well, I can say ‘Movement’.... all doors to Hell are closed…. The Satan is locked up….. ask for forgiveness and you get it… the doors of Mercy are wide open…. This is the month the Qur’an came down to us…. Yes, you do feel thirsty… and a bit hungry and towards the end of the day you feel sooo weak… but don’t you feel the same wen u got up late after watching a movie late into the nite… missed breakfast.. ran to clinics.. the discussion started late.. so, obviously got over late.. and then u came to know that there’s a theory class in the hospital..(which is half an hour away), so u skip lunch as well.. reach the class.. the class gets over at 4, by the time you reach bak its 4.30. and then u either have food.. or u have ur bath, do the cleaning things and then have food .. that makes it 5.30… Iftaar is at 6.45 here.. so u r not more than 2 and half hours away from food newaz….
Big deal.. huh!!!
Wat I mean is u do feel exactly the same amount of weakness (or maybe more) for things which aren’t even fetching you graces from the Lord! Why not do it for some returns…
Especially, wen we paavam Muslims hardly have anything else to ‘celebrate’!!!

And finally I’ll just say a part of a very long story… ummmm.. actually I’ll only tell the moral of the story.
It’s actually bout the life of a Prophet.
Yaqoub A.S. (Jacob) and Yousuf A.S. (Joseph) are both Prophets of Islam (Judaeo-Christio-Islamic prophets).
Yaqoub had grown old and cudn see well with his eyes.. in fact.. I think he was totally blind.. not really sure.. and he had this super beautiful son, Yousuf. Yousuf’s brothers hated him and were jealous of him and so one day they plan to get rid of him.. they go to their father and tell him ki they;d be taking Yousuf out with them to the jungle for hunting. Jacob says to his eldest son, “TAKE CARE OF JOSEPH, I ENTRUST HIM UPON YOU”
So yeh brothers take Joseph to the jungle and leave him inside a deep well (story cut short) and eutrn to their father and tell ki Yousuf was eaten by a wild animal.
Now, Yousuf was saved by a caravan of people passing by and went thru really tuf (and I mean REEEEAAALLLYYY TTTUUUFFF) times but he eventually rose to become a King of another Kingdom (story drastically cut short) and it so happened that finally Jacob (who was also a King) meets this lost son of his after many many years..a dn they are all happily reunited… and then Jacob complains to Allah ki why did you do this to my son and me? Why did you separate us??? Then he is visited by Jibraeel A.S. (Gabriel, an arch angel.. the messenger of Allah, thru whom Allah spoke to the Prophets) and he says ki Allah says ki ‘all this wudn have happened to Yousuf had you entrusted Yousuf upon Me and not his brother.’
‘U placed ur trust on him, u got wat his trust cud give you.’

Moral of the story- Hand urself over to God.
So, it’s very important to say ki Allah hum khud ko aap par saunpte hai.. ya whatever it is that you want Allah to take care of. Coz’ He alone Protects.
Allah Tavakkal

P.S.1- I killed that lizard.
P.S.2- got idli and cutlet and uzhunuvada and dahi for sehri.
P.S. 3- the pic is of two magnets on my cupboard… this pic is also the wallpaper in my mobile.

Ok am going
Allah hafiz

Sunday, 23 August 2009

The Most Beautiful Heart...

I use my heart a lot.

You know there’s a story that ek baar a king sent his wisest minister to find out the person with the most beautiful heart. The minister went to the market and shouted out ki bhaiya whoever has the most beautiful heart, plz show it to me. The King has asked me to bring that man to his palace and he will be handsomely rewarded by the King. Many men started holding their hearts up high and shouting ki dekho my heart is the most beautiful.. my heart is the most beautiful…. The minister saw all the hearts but was very disappointed coz he couldn’t find a single heart that was beautiful. Just then an old man came and took out his heart and showed it to the people and said.. here look at my heart…. I don’t know bout you all but I personally know it well that my heart is the most beautiful among all the hearts here…. All the men in the market turned to look at this heart, and one sight upon it and they burst out laughing… here was an old heart tattered and torn…. Not only did it have innumerable cracks, but also patches that seemed to be attached from outside to fill up some gaps.. there were other gaps as well… gaps that were left empty. All in all, it was the ugliest heart the men gathered in the market had ever seen.
Wen the wise minister saw the old man’s heart….. he knew that all the effort didn’t go a waste and finally the King would be able to see the heart that was the most beautiful… he made his way to the old man, through the jeering crowd… and wen he reached the man.. the minister hugged the old man and kissed the back of his hand, as was the custom in that kingdom, to show his respect. And then he declared, “indeed!!! here is the most beautiful heart in the Kingdom!!”..
The others were totally astounded… they culdn believe that this little shitty heart cud be considered the most beautiful… they thought that the minister had lost his mind and they didn’t refrain from telling it aloud either….
Wen the minister saw that he was surrounded by so many fools who were still not able to see the beauty in that heart…. He told…

“My dear People…. I can understand very well the reason behind ur confusion.. of course, you are awaiting an answer for my choice…and I will surely tell u the reason y I believe that this old man’s heart is the most beautiful….
Look at it… said the minister, holding the heart in his hands…
Look at all the places in which the heart has cracked….these cracks are witness to the times this man had loved and lost… the times he had trusted and was cheated.. the times he had made a mistake and wasn’t forgiven… these are a proof that the man had LIVED… and not just lived..he had also LOVED…
Look here.. these pieces of heart that don’t look like they belong to this heart….these are the pieces that some others had given him.. it shows that he had relationships.. he gave a part of his heart to others and they in return gave him a part of their hearts….it shows.. LOVE…. Given and received….
And look here these empty holes in the heart…. These are the part of his heart that he gave to others but which weren’t replaced by anyone’s heart… these are the times he loved but wasn’t loved back. And yet, the many number of vacant places are a proof that he didn’t stop loving coz someone in his life hadn’t reciprocated.. he went on loving…

And this Love is wat makes this Heart beautiful..
You al might be having hearts all clean and sparkling… but remember…. The beauty of ur heart lies in how u loved….
Ur heart doesn’t become beautiful by keeping it to urself…
The beauty of ur heart lies in how much it’s shared.. how much it is bruised.. and how it goes on spreading the wonder called love in spite of the bruises it gets…

There was a silence in the crowd.. people were ashamed of having laughed at the old man… but now they knew… the secret of the heart… and the secret of life…
They went back home as men with a little more knowledge.

Allah hafiz

Be a bit more thankful honey!

There are so many people in the world who are in a situation worse than us, and this is something jo hum sabhi ko pata hai. Still, look at how we behave! Aren’t we total suckers?
In my hostel, there’s a mess girl (a girl who works in the mess) named Anu. She’s from Alleppey itself but prolly there are some financial probs at her home.. I don know.. newaz..
Prolly there are some problems, and that’s why she’s been sent to our hostel and she works the whole day.. there’s another girl Achu but she’s from some other place.
These two girls are younger to me….. they work the whole day…….
The WHOLE day…. They bring those big bartans full of food to the mess, while we just go, sit and eat….
I wonder if they ever feel bad..
Ek taraf there are teenage girls working so much and ek taraf there’s me.. who doesn’t even know how to hold a knife.
And then ……. In spite of all this I complain………
Aint I such a big crap?
Mummy bolti hai, “humesha apne se upar mat dekho. Apne se neeche bhi dekho”
If we look at people below us, we’ll feel ki Allah Paak has given us so much to be thankful for. So much so much so much.
Wen I look at Anu, that’s exactly how I feel.
She is a gal who’s always happy… always cheerful….
Wen I look at her laughing, just wen I have disconnected the call after talking to mummy bout how bad and sad my life is in kerala…….. I feel ki…. Yaar!!!!!! There cudn be someone more ungrateful than me.
But then I see other people, .. girls around me…. Who are even bigger fools than me and I realize ki chalo.. at least there are people more ungrateful than me…

But baat is not ki who is more ungr8ful.. baat is ki how… there is such a huge need for gratitude for God among us.
We all… all of us I mean… we lack gratitude so much.
Allah Paak has given us so much.
Each one of us …. Sabko alag alag cheese, of course.. lekin fir bhi…
Unka socho who have next to nothing in this world.
Aur fir unka socho who have na to anything in this world and jinko us duniya mein bhi kuchh nahi milna hai.
Aren’t we lucky???????
No .. I don’t think im trying to find happiness kisi aur ke gham mein….
Im trying to find happiness yeh sochkar ki there cud me so many more gham that Allah cud have given me but didn’t… and that is a reason to celebrate in itself.
I don’t think im makin any sense.
Allah hafiz

Ramzaan Mubarak to Allllllllllllllllllllllll

Assalam alaykum

Ramzaan Mubarak to all :) :)

May Allah bless us all and help us to beat our senses this Ramzaan and forever..

Allah hafiz

Friday, 21 August 2009

On being a fool... Harrison ... OHP..and A New Lizard..

Im such a fool. I was always someone who was considered in the ‘free time’. I always ‘took time out’. Jaise bolte hain ki… no one has time to read namaaz… you have to ‘take time out’. Veru much like that… I used to take time out. I was such a fool.
Kitni badi bewakoof.

I thot we were told ki we shudn begin sentences with ‘because’… but in Harrison, soooooo many sentences begin with ‘Because’.???????
Kaun sahi hai????
Jo bhi .. mere ko kya?
Na Harrison mera bhai.. na angrezi mera zuban.

A new lizard has entered my room today and she is very confused.. she is roaming all over the place, I haven’t been able to kill her ab tak. And since I sleep on the floor, i fear she might hop on to my mattress or worse hop on to me at night.

As if it’s not yet night!!!

kitna work to do....... gotto prepare the OHPs for tomorrow.....:(

Allah hafiz

Thursday, 20 August 2009

On Expectations .. Memories.. and Pain

Why is it that people don’t want me to expect???? I never tell people not to expect anything from me.
Either they are strange or I am.. in any case, the one who gets hurt in the deal is me.
Whenever mummy says ki after your marriage you too will not have time… when you start working you too will not talk to us.. blah blah.. I always tell her ki aise mat bolo.. always tell good things…. inshaAllah I will always be there for you.
I personally know ki things mite go wrong lekin…. Y shud we think bout something bad… and esp wen saamne waala is feeling bad, isn’t it imperative for me to lift that person up. And to tell ki no.. don’t worry. You can count on me.
When someone shows me ki these have been ur mistakes… I have always tried to correct them… always tried not to repeat the same things again, so that people who matter to me aren’t hurt. Why don’t people behave in the same way towards me?
Why is it so easy for them to say ki Almas I am sorry… I was wrong… and so we better be away ….
Meaning ki .. tell me whatever.. I wont change.. yes I was wrong .. yes I hurt you… but wel.., I am planning to remain the same… so, either prepare to be hurt again or don’t be wid me.
It is so easy for people to tell ki dekho bhaiya bas itna… isse zyada nahi.
I swear upon my Lord, I will forget you one day.
People tell me to look at the bad in you, and stop counting the qualities in you.
I don’t know if I can do that. But I promise, I will forget you.
I wont remember anything.
i will keep closing chapters behind me.
I will never hate u. coz I cant… but one day I will stop feeling for you.
Thanks for all the way in which you have hurt me, coz’ this makes life complete.
But you know wat…. One day I will get over you. I wont remember any expectations.
I know, expectations are the worst thing.
The only thing I expect is in relationships. And no I am not wrong.
I cant live without expecting people to love me coz i think that’s wat people wud and shud do wid me.
But those of my expectations that I had from you will be forgotten.
I will forget all this.
You tell of being friends… yes, that;s wat u had told so many times.
I was a fool I never understood.
I will forget everything.
Woh bolte hai na.. har takleef ke baad raahat hai.
Mere ko bhi raahat mil jaaega. InshaAllah.
Ek din all my pains will disappear, inshaAllah.

Dearest Almas

Dearest Almas
Look darling, there’s no point being so negative and having a ‘the-world-is-out-to-kill-me’ attitude. Negativity is the last thing you need rite now. Have faith in Allah and know that whatever He is doing is doing for the best. You, of all people in this big world, should be knowing it very well. How many times has God shown it? haven’t you fallen flat on ur face the previous time wen u fought with God so badly? Isliye, unpe shaq mat karo.
And let things go as they are going. Its ok to be tensed, but learn to get the shit out of ur mind on time. Ab dekho, us ek daant we wajah se wat did u do? U spent the whole of yesterday and today on two topics, which u still haven’t completed. This Is not the way u can be at such a crucial time. Stop worrying so much. Dekho, jo hona hoga, who to hoga hi. Lekin nahi marke kyu bhoot banna? Jab marenge, tab dekhenge… bhoot banna ya nahi…. Filhal you are alive… Alhamdulillah.
Wats gone cannot be brought back, lekin jo hai usko mat kho crying over jo kho diya.
And remember, there are only two people who can help you- ur Maalik and yourself. Wat u do is inconsequential.. coz u are doing only wat u hav been destined to do, lekin dats the way the world runs… we have to keep doing. So, do to the best of ur ability. And wait, uske baad let Him decide wat to do. And remember ki jo hoga who best hoga.
Haan, lots of bad things are happening. You deserve better. Lekin khair, kuchh kar nahi sakte na.
Aur peechhe dekh ke kya milna hai..?????? abhi, filhaal aage dekho… inshaAllah, jab yeh waqt tal jaaega tab fursat se peechhe dekhenge milke. Abhi let’s see aage.
Mere ko malum hai ki tumko kuchh samajh mein nahi aa raha hai, lekin think of something.. some way.. if it doesn’t work out, we’ll change ways… it’s ok to change ways… it’s ok.. always…
Agar anything goes futile.. let it go… kya fark padta hai?
You are a Muslim my dear… u shudn be so screwed…. Maut pe bhi “Inna Lillah” padhte hai.. to ye sab to chhote mote cheez hai….
Learn to let things go….
Give ur best……… u’ll get the best…….. if not now, then.. if not this way, that way…..
If not here, there………
Wat goes around… comes around…
And remember never lose hope….. y dyu feel ki this will give u happiness????? Ho sakta hai this will not…. maybe something totally different will… and all this is chumma time pass.. ho sakta hai na????
To isliye itna mat ghabrao.. newaz… tumhaare sath Allah Paak kabhi bura nahi karenge.
To abhi jo hai .. make the best of it.. this is what God wants you to do now… just go on doing it…
He will give you whatever He wants to give.
And He will give it whenever He wants to give it and in the way He wants to give it.
Filhaal… apna karam karo…. Aaga sab achha hoga, inshaAllah…
Whatever be the outcome, it will be the best for you…..
Remember ki hum aage ka nahii dekh sakte…. Allah can....
Tumko lagega ki yeh galat ho raha hai.. lekin shayad isse behter kuchh aur na ho tumhare zindagi mein.
Allah Tavakkal………..

Love you like no one else can

it's all so yuck !

I am feeling so scared, so low. Don’t know wat to do.
Sometimes it feels so bad to be the last person in anyone’s list.
Imagine there are a group of people standing and u go and talk to someone… u are talking and usi beech someone else interferes and asks a question to the person u were talking to, this person … whoever it be…. Replies to that person pehle…and agar the conversation goes on long…. This person even forgets ki he/she was actually talking to you.
Ek baar nahi .. baar baar.
Ya, i dont speak Malayalam.
Tum logon ko Allah Paak ne Malayalam sikhaya hai par tameez ka zarra bhi nahi diya.
I am feeling so suffocated, I cant tell that in words.
Plus I have changed my mind bout my career..
There’s just no point.
I have no idea wat will happen tomorrow.
Time seems to have got mad it me. Nothing is going right, or at least.. that’s how it luks.
Whatever I try to do, I go wrong…. Dead wrong.
Even wen im doin something sachi koshish karke.
These things really disappoint you. Really.
Allah hafiz.

Sunday, 16 August 2009


I have realized a few things.
1. I used to tell people that a 'crush' goin on for a long time is called 'love'. And that there is a very thin barrier between the two. I have realized that i was wrong. While i still cant tell how love happens, whether its really an outcome of a 'crush' (as in my case) or something else. . . What i can say is that there is not a thin but an extra thick, strong and wide barrier between the two.

2. A lot of blah blah has been said bout love, its beautiful, its blind, its forgiving. Well. . . All the blah blah is true.

3. You should never tell that the person you are in love with, should change for you. Coz well. . It never happens. Let him do it himself. That is in the best interest .

4. You need to 'express' love. You just need to. They say that the greatest of loves is the love that shows its vulnerability. They couldn be more right.

5. If the person whom you have loved like . . . CRAZY. . . hurts you. . . Teach him a lesson.

Allah hafiz


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