Monday, 28 September 2009

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Apna attitude apne profile tak raho.. mere profile tak mat laao.


Life Mantras #2

"Life is like a bus journey. You just got to wait at the bus stop. Some buses just pass you by. Some stop but you dont board them. Some stop and you board them. Some have good suspensions. Some have bad suspensions. The ones with good suspensions make your journey a peaceful and happy one. The ones with bad suspensions make it very difficult for you to complete the journey. You just got to wait at the bus stop."

- Mohsin Ali Wahab, a very dear friend :)


Sunday, 27 September 2009

The Most Difficult Thing In Islam...

Assalam
Im sure each one of us finds something or the other in religion that is ‘Oh-so-difficult’.. ask me and I will say you a hundred million things that I find difficult in religion. Lekin there’s one thing which surpasses all things else in the pain it causes me.
And that thing is “PAAKI”….
Or ‘Purity’ as it wud be told in English.. but I think a more appropriate word wud be ‘Cleanliness’…

A part of this Paaki is VAZU
Ablutions in English
‘Ulu’ or something similarly strange in Malayalam.


The Ablutions area in a mosque

Trust me, there’d be few things that burden me as much as Paaki.
For the ignorant ones, :->
every Muslim is expected to pray 5 Obligatory Prayers (plus as many supplementary prayers as he likes) in a day. And before saying his prayers he needs to ‘clean’ himself in the prescribed way…that is wat is called ‘vazu’. But more important than vazu is keeping urself ‘clean’, again according to Islamic standards, throughout the day… so that twud be easy for u to pray.
Certain things that mite not be considered as ‘unclean’ by non-Muslim standards are considered ‘Unclean’ in Islam. A very common example is the saliva of a dog.
So if u r licked by that cute puppy with a tiny tail, you mite be feeling all mushy inside, but for me…. I have been programmed to avoid all things that luk even remotely like a dog, forget being licked by one.

And again, there are different standards of cleaning for each kind of ‘impurity’. For some ‘impurities’, making a vzu wud suffice before the prayer…like…if u go to the toilet, (and have used water to clean urself), u cannot directly pray, u’ve got to make vazu before that. But for some others, u need to take a bath, a ghusal… washing urself with water from head to toe (including hair---the one that grows on ur head too). For e.g. after sexual intercourse, u cannot just make a vazu, you’ve actually got to make a ghusal..
Yupps!! Each time !
So, if u r newly married, and if u r having intercourse twice or thrice in a day :) … happy bathing to you!

Now this is the part of ‘paaki’ which all muslims in the world practice.
But for some insane ppl, like Almas, the ‘paaki’ has gone one step ahead and turned into an OCD..(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)……..

You wont believe how crazily I behave regarding this matter….
If I’m wearing a salwar that was too long and CUD hav touched the ground while I walked and the ground CUD have been dirty…I will do either of the following things-
1. Change the salwar before I pray. Not possible wen im at college.
2. Wash the bottom part of my salwar and then go around the college with half wet salwar the rest of the day. yes, I do this strange thing!
3. don’t pray and then keep on cursing urself for not praying until u return to the hostel, wash urself and pray. ----- my most commonly adopted way of the three.

Likewise, I keep myself a hundred feet away from dogs, puddles of water….
On rainy days, wen a passing vehicle blesses me with a spray of microsize water droplets, I feel like jumping down from the Mount Everest and ending my sad life.
Wen I’ve got periods, every single piece of clothing that I wear finds a secluded place in the room, away from all other things coz these clothes can ‘Infect’ the world with their ‘impurity’ (Islam prescribes washing the part stained with blood… that’s all… u don’t even need to wash the whole of the clothe, same goes with the semen of ejaculation.. just wash the part where there’s the semen stain, u can wear it after that and pray)


the steps in Vazu


And vazu?????/ vazu ka to poochho mat.
First of all, I have this thing with ‘Bismillah’ which is another of the abnormalities in me. I just cant get the ‘bismillah’ done… I mean I go on repeating it again and again and again… coz u see.. I don’t get the ‘FEEL’ of it… each time I say ‘Bismillah hirrehmanir rahim’…. I feel ki ‘nai nai… I havent said it properly… I shud say it properly… I shud ACTUALLY begin in the name of Allah’… and I go on and on and on…
Huh!
So finally wen I get thru the Bismillah, I make the vazu.. (plz remember the bathrooms are three thousand miles away from my room- we don’t have attached bathrums in my hostel) I come bak to my rum and then even the slitest of oddity can make me go like ‘arrrreyyyyyyyyyyy mera vazu toot gaya’…. And wow!!! I go thru the entire Bismillah task again… and make vazu again…. Not to mention the three + three= six thousand extra milles that I walk.
:/
:/

I don’t even wear my lens after making vazu coz u see if I touch the lens solution…I will lose the vazu. Hmm…

Sometimes I feel life wud be so easy if there was no vazu.
There’d be so many more people whu’d pray , if there wasn’t this criteria of ‘cleanlines’. Imagine …like dekho abhi abhi the maghrib azaan has been called, I cud simply get up and pray but no….. I have to walk the three thousand miles, make vazu (after I manage to say the Bismillah), come back the three thousand miles and THEN pray…
Huh!!!

That’s why I say ki saying prayers is way way way more difficult than fasting.. and I guess this is a part of the reason why we find so many people who fast baraabar but don’t pray.

But I guess, that’s precisely wat the deal is.
The rewards are in proportion to the trouble u take,,
No pains no gains…

Plus we shudn forget that every little thing has a reward…
Making vazu is also considered a kind of worshiping and it comes wid its own sawaab. Then waiting for the call to Prayer is also considered ibaadat and it comes wid its own reward…
Praying of course is ibaadat.
Then making dua is also an ibaadat…
Every little thing has rewards….
So, well that says it…

But seriously, I need to work at my OCD… or am in for biiiiiiiigggggg trouble…yaar I end up missing prayers.. which is so so so bad.
Like yesterday, while walkin back from the hospital to the main road we tuk a short cut where there were shrubs on both sides.. and I started thinking ki wat if someone has urinated here, and wat if that urine drop remains on one of the leaves, and wat if that drop touches my clothes, wat if I have become ‘napaak’………..wat if I go to pray wearing ‘napaak’ clothes…

This is by shaitaan actually… u know there is this thing ki if u r in a doubt that ur vazu is broken, better go and make the vazu again than ssay ur prayers wid a feellin that u were unclean. So I think shaitaan outs this feelin in my heart all the time, taaki I keep skipping my prayers..
Shaitaan bhi sala ek number ka kutta hai.

Actually there’s a hadees that Huzur S.A.W had told that Religion is easy so we shudn make it difficult…
Im sure if Huzur S.AW. was here and he came to know of my madness, I wud get achha dose from Him… :(
Im makin religion difficult.. and since I am a woman.. I mite just transmit it to my kids.. sory im not getin a beter word in place of ‘transmit’.

Newaz…
Chalo.
Read more bout Vazu atRevert Muslims

Allah hafiz.





Chip of the Old Blockhead by Rupa Gulab

Assalam
Just wanted to finish off with posts bout the buks I’ve read…
Had read Rupa Gulab’s “Chip of the Old Blockhead”. Nice book.
Good humour… really good humour….
And thee were some badhiya punchlines… I forgot to mark them… toh if I want to write them down here… will have to read the book again… dhanyawaad! Im not doin that…
Toh newaz.. it’s a reeeaallyy nice buk… [:)]


P.S.- lolz… see I gave those square bracks….

Allah hafiz


We lost to Pak . . .

Chalo is bahaane bechare murdo mei thoda jaan aa jaega. . . S**** h*****k**** ko khushi ka sach mei zarurat tha.

Apne ne kya khoya?
huh!
 I am being a bad loser I know...but I do not care... so shut up!

Saturday, 26 September 2009

I Didn't Pray....

Assalam

I go to the hospital, I go to the wards…..my mind still wandering behind…
Im only half present at the classes, half of me is always elsewhere…
One speaks to me, a Hundred don’t…..
I listen and yet I hear not…
I’m not finding relief in any way…I so want it all to end…

I had my lunch….i lay down on the floor… I logged into orkut… my eyes were tired… I hadn read my noon prayers…. I thot I’ll rest just for a while…I set an alarm to ring after 5 minutes…I closed my eyes…after 5 minutes, I turned off the snooz of the alarm….
I slept and I dreamt dreams beautiful…wen I woke up it had been 2 hrs…. I saw a misd cal and I returned a misd.. I logged into orkut again, only to read a scrap that told “Don’t expect”…I turned on my lappy and I’m typing this now…. I haven’t read my noon prayers…and the world has moved on as I slept and so…I haven’t read my afternoon prayers too……

I have thot of things that wont remain… this world is but a mortal place… I have longed for parents, success, friends…. Unsure how long each wud stay…
In a blink of eyes they will go away… it’s all faani, it will disappear one day…

But that which I’m sure will always be, will definitely happen, will forever stay….
I keep that in the last of my list, you see my friends, I still haven’t prayed….
The Immortal, the Eternal will meet me One Day
He’ll ask me ‘Tell me my slave, did you Pray?’
‘Or did you get u so busy that u forgot the real from the fake?’
I wonder wat shall I reply then, to that most Wonderful Being, wat shall I say
‘O yes God…. I did obey…’
‘but all with a little delay…’
‘the sparkle of ur world blinded me.. yes God, I got caught in the bait..’
Wudn I be ashamed…but wat to do then….
To mend things, twud be so so late…
But plz God, I ask u now…on that Day plz forgive me anyway….

As for now, I shall go and pray…

P.S.- I started the post to write bout something else, …but the guilt of not prayin on time was too strong…I missed Fajr…I prayed after sunrise…
I missed Zuhar….i came back and slept.. and if I don’t go now…I mite miss Asar too..
I shall write wat I wanted to write in another post…

P.S.2- oh I wish I had started it as a poem….! :) newaz…

Allah hafiz


Thursday, 24 September 2009

Dearest Azhar, When I Look Back..

I see myself alone... All alone.. and I wonder where did I leave behind my friends!!! Where did they disappear? They were rite their beside me. Laughing and crying... holding my hands, wiping my tears... I wonder where did all that vanish

When I lok back Azhar, I see the reason behind this conversation had with someone, today....Let's call him "ZEBRA".. and u know whom I'm talkin bout..
so.. azhar.. tell me, if otthers cud see it.. why cudn you???





******Zebra
knock knock...

9:35pmAlmas
yupps

9:36pm******Zebra
srry for the post....

9:38pmAlmas
not a probs... u shudn have written it on facebuk though..

9:40pm*****Zebra
hmmm... to tell you the truth, for me ALMAS means, a gal with the purest of heart and soul, ALLAH ki pyaari... And seeing you using that word, just boiled ma blood at that moment... so just blasted....
hmmm... to tell you the truth, for me ALMAS means, a gal with the purest of heart and soul, ALLAH ki pyaari... And seeing you using that word, just boiled ma blood at that moment... so just blasted...
blasted....

9:41pmAlmas
not a prob....

9:41pm******Zebra
;)
Hamesha achchi bachchi ban ke raho, tab har koi tumse pyaar karega.... Telling u these things wont bring me any gain.... its for your good...

9:42pmAlmas
alrite.. thanks... im pretty happy wid myself though....
and i dont really believe in doin things so that ppl love me.. i have never..

9:45pm******Zebra
i know almas... you dnt care what people think about you... khair... i knw, i can't make u understand... its quite tough, you know... especially wid ya... he he... but keep this in mind, jab jab tum galti karegi, hum tapak padega... wether u like it or not...

9:46pmAlmas
okis... be prepared its goin to be a lot of time..

9:47pm******Zebra
i am prepared almas... i am... i've seen you changing... and won't let it happen again and again....

9:48pmAlmas
wen did i change?

9:50pm******Zebra
when you moved away from everybody else, i mean after u joined your college... you know, i respect you a lot... I dont knw wat u think of me...but i dnt want to see you changing... i dnt want u to loose ur image, that's in my heart... Whether you care about it or not...
hen you moved away from everybody else, i mean after u joined your college... you know, i respect you a lot... I dont knw wat u think of me...but i dnt want to see you changing... i dnt want u to loose ur image, that's in my heart... Whether you care about it or

9:51pmAlmas
and y dyu think did i move away from everybody?

9:55pm******Zebra
you know, there are certain people in life, who without even letting you know, makes a very special place in your heart.... and when you find them, they are no longer the same (yes, time do changes everything)... you really feel hurt.... I don't knw, wat m i blabbering... but ... m almost in tears...
chuck it....
forget this topic...

9:57pm******Zebra
but almas... to behonest wid ya,
you've changed...

9:57pmAlmas
tel me how have i changed

9:57pm******Zebra
but please don't change yourself more...

9:57pmAlmas
and i asked one more question... y do u think that i moved away from everybody

9:58pm******Zebra
In everything, in every way...
i don't almas.... i just told you what i really felt.... and i swear on my allah, if i talk longer about this topic, i'll start crying...

9:59pmAlmas
thats not an answer

9:59pm*******Zebra
so just, leave this topic...

10:00pm*******Zebra
We'll talk about this some other time...k....

10:00pmAlmas
but answer me..
wat dyu think made me go away from everybody
i want u to answer this

10:03pm******Zebra
only u can answer this almas... spend 15 minutes wid yourself... ask urself...

10:03pmAlmas
i know the answer
i want to know wat u think... tell me

10:03pm******Zebra
and what's d answer...????

10:03pmAlmas
or dont ever talk bout this to me again in ur life

10:03pm******Zebra
you temme first..

10:04pmAlmas
fine.. over
bye

10:04pm******Zebra
see... y getting angry..???
don't wanna speak...???
almas, gussa aur zidd tumhara sabse bada dushman hai...

10:05pmAlmas
whatever zebra... i asked u sumthin
if u casnt answer

10:05pm******Zebra
i m telling d truth, even i dnt knw... wat made you move away... i swear.... i was just telling u wat i felt...

10:05pmAlmas
dont ask things again

10:05pm******Zebra
allah gawah hai....

10:06pmAlmas
i didnt start it
if u can say i moved away
u shud be having a reason for that
and i aint askin bout someone else's life.. im talkin bout my own bloody self...
alrite

10:06pm*****Zebra
f9... m srry...

10:06pmAlmas
if u don know wat made me move away.....

10:06pm*****Zebra
gussa mat karo...

10:06pmAlmas
dont use that as an excuse to say that i have changeds
im not getin angry

10:07pm*****Zebra
f9.... the answer is AZHAR...

10:07pmAlmas
i dont like ppl questioning my integrity
ya
AZHAR
thanks 4 sayin that

10:07pm******Zebra
....
m srry.... will neva question ur integrity again... guess, m still far away 4m ya....
maybe wts ruined, can never be the same...
and finally, u made me cry...
allah hafiz...
will talk 2 u later...
and yeah... i really care...
bye...
:(

10:09pmAlmas
"""""""maybe wts ruined, can never be the same..."""'
very well said
and im telin this in a generl context
not to u in particular
sory for makin u cry
am a cruel person.. now u know!!!
tc
and am sory agn for makin u cry
gnite Zebra
tata


But you see Azhar... there's no point...ther's no point at all in tellin wat I left for u, wat i didnt... I fell for Chammu...
wat cud be worse???
and there's no denying Azhar.... I have fallen so bad for him that I've bruised both my knees...
Allah hafiz

Dearest Strangers

Assalam
A recent update in my Orkut profile.. am gonna remove it soon, though...
Storing it here for future use :D :D :D


STRANGERS PLEASE NOTE :->
I don’t mind accepting requests from strangers, but, atleast have the basic Orkut Manners of introducing yourself before asking me who ‘I’ am….
If you know me, and I don’t know you… go ahead add me.. and tell me who you are. I wil be most glad to get a new friend.
If you DON’T know me, and I too don’t know you… and if you add me… and if I accept your request….dont you dare me ask me something like ‘Who are you?’ ‘Wats ur name?’ or even ‘Do I know you?’ .. for the fuck of it, YOU added me.. I didn’t add you…. So, please show the decency of first introducing yourself.. as in ‘I am falana falana, from falana falana….’ And only then and only then tel ‘may I know you better?’

I accept requests from strangers only in three cases:
1. you add a personal message…..teling me whu u r + I like ur profile. If I don’t like ur profile, I wont add you…. And even if I like ur profile, but u haven’t added a personal message, ur request will never be accepted.
2. I know u from some community.
3. we have common friends.

In case of 3, I assume that u r my junior from skul…. And SO I accept the request, and after that I expect u to tel me whu u r.. even if u r not from my skul, not a prob… but rather go fuck urself than telin me ‘sory I don know u, wats ur name?’
If u don’t know me…. DON’T ADD ME….
And if u still add me…. DON’T U DARE ASK ME ANYTHING BEFORE INTRODUCING URSELF.
If you don’t know me, 99.99% I too don’t know you. Hum kya tumhari pichhle janam ki mashooka hai jo humko tum maloom hoge? Ha? Isliye mera sar mat khao.

I, myself, add so many people who mite not be knowing me… I always take care of teling them who I am, so that it doesn’t appear rude. And that is precisely how I expect ppl to behave.
Henceforth, such crap scraps will not be replied to.

PLUS, READ MY PROFILE before u add me…. Don’t ask questions to which answers are already written in the profile. Misaal ke taur pe, don’t ask me something as lame as ‘Are you from Carmel?’
I’ve already written that my skul is ‘Mount Carmel SSS’ dikhai nahi deta hai kya andhon????
Likewise, don’t ask me ‘where r u from?’ ‘wats ur name?’
Blah blah blah blah…

Aur haaaaan.
Almas is quite an uncommon name in my part of the world.…. u’d hardly meet more than one or two almas in ur life. Isliye if you have met an Almas, who CUD be me.. then chances are.. that it IS me… aur waise bhi in Andamans, im the first Almas… and in Carmel there have been only two Almas…. There was a senior ‘Alima’ not Almas….
Toh plz don’t ask me…’Are you the Almas who went with me to Bhardwaj Sir’s classes?’…
You can have a doubt in names like Preethi.. coz u’d find 100s of Preethis.. or Pooja.. coz u’d find 1000s of Poojas…. But don kid urself in saying something like, ‘Are u the same Almas?’
If there was an Almas, it was ME.

Waise bhi eid ke din im away from home, mera mood kharab hai.. aur mood kharab nahi karna mere ko.
Ok?????
Shukriya.
Ab apna kaam kariye….


Allah hafiz


Google Galleries :D

Hmmmmm. .... someone from Thrissur is googling my name….. hmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm….




Now reading ... "The Witch of Portobello" by 'Paulo Coelho'.

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