Thursday, 31 December 2009

I dont know..



Assalam
I am feeling so strange rite now.
Actually, I don’t have words to tell wat am feeling… it’s just a ….mmm… STRANGE feeling.
I do not understand why is it that people are not able to understand wat am saying. I have been goin around telling people that I like a boy… and ther’s no one to believe me.. probably coz they cant digest the fact that hAzhar and I have split. I don’t know.
Actually, I don’t know anything. I got really upset in the evening while talking to mummy… we were talking bout him, coz that’s my favourite topic nowadays. Now, I, myself don’t know what is it that I keep talking bout him.. there’s nothing to talk.. nothing at all..yet I cant seem to end my ‘talks’ bout him………so, among other things, mummy told me that ‘who knows you’ll get someone JUSST like him’. She had told this once earlier too….and I hadn’t liked it…but I hadn’t told her anything.. today wen she told me the same thing, I kind of got pissed off. though, if you ask me wat the big deal was bout.. I don think I’d have much of an answer to give.. all I can say is that, it really sounded very bad…….
I don’t know why……
It’s just that I never look for replacements….. replacements hote hai but not the replacement of ppl.. there can only be replacement of roles.
I can maary someone… then mite divorce him.. and remarry. Both wud be my husbands…yeahh! But they wudn be the same individual….
Wen I started losing Azhar… I didn’t try to find a replacement for Azhar… neither in loks, nor incharacter…. Yes, I do like someone today.. but he’s not by any means similar to Azhar…
And likewise, I wud never look for a replacement for him.
I feel very strange bout the way I reacted to mummy…. I am myself not able to understand wat it was that set me off so badly…
I do not know a thing about him… not a single thing.. I possibly cant ‘know’ him and then base my ‘like’ on that…. And if consider the way he looks, well, this is not the ‘looks’ that I like…
I do not know why I like him.
I do not know why my liking for him has been growing so steadily.
I do not know a thing.
And I do not know why I got so worked up wen mummy told something so mild.
I do not know.
I am goin to sleep for a while.
Close thine eyes and as thou sleepest, Heaven will change thy fortune from evil to good.
6.30 am
Woke up, praye, now will write in Unsaid coz I want ot write ‘dil kholke’ .No Replacements for my Jaan...
Allah hafiz.


Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Jalpari_the year that was!!!

Assalam
Pavan sent me a nice New Year Gift :)
it's an application in FB dat enables us to make a collage of all the status that we wrote in the year 2009.. here is mine.. and.. well.. me thinks, i have some really cool tweets (my FB stats go thru Twitter), will inshaAllah post them too.
newaz...
here's my collage :)



Allah hafiz

Blog Description Changed :)

Assalam
InshaAllah going to change my blog description...
so thot of noting down the older one...

"Its all bout me , my life here on the land, away from the sea. . . me princess of the ocean among humans so mean. just check out my blog this is Almas JaLpArI"


This description was with me for almost two years now...
thanks darling..
but, I guess... I need to move on. :)
not yet decided if I shud change the name of my blog...
the first name was
"Almas naama"
then it became "Jalpari"
but since some of the non-Urdu readers cudn understand wat Jalpari meant, I had changed it to "Jalpari- The Meramid".
I am so used to call it Jalpari that I aint really sure if I'd be able to call it wid any other name..
newaz let's see...
Allah hafiz

Monday, 28 December 2009

"Appam" by Arshul Mohammed :)

Assalam

A masterpiece poem by Arshul Mohammed :)

  Kiran Begum, 
  kya hai yeh appam?
  Malyali tum nahin malyali hain hum, 
  keral mein liye humare pushton ne janm,
  fir bhi yaar aaj tak maaloom nahin hua, aakhir hai kya yeh appam. . . . :)

waah waah waah waah!!!!

Allah hafiz


Ya Hussaina!!

Assalam
Here are some of my most favourite lines from the Shahadat Naama....
(many Muslims are opposed to the Shahadat Naama.... so plz think before you quote this somewhere else.)
and also some other couplets on the Imaam A.S.






..
Bole Hassan ki rang mujhe sabz chahiye.
.Nana humaare jode ko dhaani rangaiye...
Mehboob-e-kibriya ne jo puchha Hussain ko
Haskar kaha ki joda humara toh surrkh ho  ...                        



Sar rakh ke maa ki kadmo pe
Abbas ne ye kaha
Hum Aashiq-e-Ilaah hai, marne ka khauff kya?
Sar ko katana kaam humara hai ammajaan...
Ghar ko lutana kaam humara hai ammajaan...
Khud ko bigadna kaam humara hai amaajaan...
Ummat chhudana kaam humara hai ammajaan...




Rukhsat ho sabse Shah chale rann ko jis ghadi,
Daaman pakadke baali Sakeenah machal gayee.
Baatein thi bholi bhali, baras 4 ka tha sin,
Godi mei khelti thi Shah-e-deen ke raat din.
Boli piddar se mai tumhe jaane na dungi ab
Aur aise pyaare sar ko katane na dungi ab.
Marne mei kya mazaa hai jo jaate ho babajaan?
Mujhko yateem bolengi sheerab ki ladkiyaan.
Behnoi, bhai aur chachajaan mar gaye,
Tujhko khushi hai marne ki batao kisliye?
Godi mei le Sakeenah ko farmaye dil faqar
“Ummat gunehgaar Nabi ki hai beshumaar,
Jab tum yateem hogi, katega humara sar...
Toh yeh saare bakhshe jayenge bekhauf-o-bekhatar”
Ummat ka naam sunke Sakeenah yeh keh uthi
Mujhko bhi tumse pyaari hai Ummat Rasool ki.
Isme agar riza Nabi ki hai toh sar ko kataiye..
Baba khushi se kehti hu ki ab rann ko jaiye.




Taqbeer mei Hussain ka kaata laeen ne sar
’Subhana rabbiul aalaa’ tha Shabbir ki zubaan par
Andhera tha, zameen pe qayamat hui bapaa.
Hoor-o-Malaik pukarte the, ’wa Muhammada.. wa Muhammada’
Ahle Haram ke rone ka kya majra likhu...
Taqat zubaan me na rahee, aah! Kya karu?
Mehshar ke roz usko bas aaram-o-chain hai..
Ab dastagheer jiska waseela Hussain hain..
Jab sidq dil se doston yeh daastaan suno…
Tab Ahle Nabi ke naam par Fatiha padho…


*****************************************************


..Hakim ka hukum aisa hai
Paani basher piye
Ghode piye, sawaar piye, Shutur piye..
Jo tashnalab jahaan mei hai, sab aam kar piye.
Haivaan piye, parind piye, Jaanwar piye.
Kaafir talak piye, Toh tum manaa na kijiyo…
Ek Faathima ke Laal ko Paani na dijiyo.......


***************************************************




Naam-e-Hussain Hashr tak aabaad rahega, Barnaad tha Yazid, woh barbaad rahega, Hussain tere khoon ke har ek katre se, gulshan mere imaan ka aabaad rahega. . .




************************************************************


Shah ast Hussain, Badshah ast Hussain,
Deen ast Hussain, Deen e Panah ast Hussain,
Sar dad, na dad dast, dar dast-e-yazeed,
Haqaa key binaey La ila ast Hussain"


"Ruler is Hussain, Emperor is Hussain,
Religion is Hussain, Sheild of religion (Islam )
is Hussain, Gave his head but not his hand to Yazid,
Maintainer of the truth is no one but Hussain"


----Bade Peer

****************************************************************


Doston Karbala Ki Wo Kahaani Na Bhoolo,..
Naujawaan-e- Islaam Ki Mardaani Na Bhoolo,.
Lehraaya Jhanda Islaam Ka Mohammed{SWAS} Ke Ladlo Ne,.
Bhoole Se Bhi, In Shaheedon Ki Khurbaani Na Bhoolo,.
Pyaase The, Ghayal The Teeron Se,... See More
Phir Bhi Hausla Buland Tha,.
Hazaaron Ke Beech Akele Ne Fateh Jo Paayi Thi,.
Takhat Wo Tum Imaani Na Bhoolo,


*****************************************************************


Royen Wo jo munkar hain shahadat e HUSSAIN k.. ..
HUM zinda o Javed ka matam nahi kartay. . .
ALLAMA IQBAL


***********************************************




Mazloom hi Mazloom ko rote hain jahan mei,
zalim kabhi Mazloom ka Matam nahi karte.
Apna koi Marr jay tu rote hain Tadap kar,
Par aale Nabi (S.A.W) ka Gham nahi karte.
Himmat hai to Mahshar main yeh kehna Paighambar say,...
Ke hum Eid to karte the Par Muharram nahi karte.
(ALLAMA IQBAL.)


**************************************************


"Hussain(a.s) Ban k Zamane pe chaa gayi ZAINAB(A.s)
Zuban-e-teg se Kufa Hila gayi ZAINAB(A.s)
Qasam Khuda ki ye Ehsan-e-BINTE-e-Zehra(a.s)hy humain
Hussain(a.s) Ka Matam Sikha Gayi ZAINAB(A.s)"
*****************************************************




Wo jisne apne NaNa ka wada wafa kia,Ghar ka ghar supardeKHUDA kia .Nosh kar lia jisne shahadat ka jaam, Us Husain Ibne-Ali par laakhon salam


********************************************************


Khoon Se Charagh-e-deen jalaya Hussain ne,,
Rasm-e-Wafa ko khoob nibhaya Hussain ne..
Khud ko to ek boond bhi Pani na mil saka,,
Karb-O-Bala Ko khoon pilaya Hussain ne..
Aesi Namaz kaon parhega Jahan men?
Sajda kiya to Sar Na uthaya Hussain ne.!
Sab kuch Khuda ki raah men Qurban kar diya,
Asghar sa phool bhi na bachaya Hussain ne..


**************************************************
Yun Hi Nahi Jahan Main
Charcha HUSSAIN Ka


Kuch Dekh K Hua Tha
Zamana HUSSAIN Ka


Sar De k Do Jahan Ki
Hukumat Khareed Li


Mehanga Para yazeed Ko
Sauda HUSSAIN Ka …


**************************************************


laaillah to parh liya ab le maza taaseer ka
laailah ki teh k nechay khon hai shabbir ka
laailah k parhne walo lailah se puch lo
laailah to bach gaya ghr lut gaya shabbir ka


******************************************************


Jab bhi kabhi Zameer ka sauda ho doston,
Qayam raho HUSSAIN ke inqaar ki tarha. .


****************************************************




and now my favourite one


"AALA HAI QUL JAHAN SE GHARANA HUSSAIN(A.S) KA
NABIYON KA TAJDAR HE NANA HUSSAIN (A.S) KA
BUS KUCH HI PAL KI THI YE HAKUMAT YAZID KI
SADIYAN HUSSAIN (A.S) KI HAIN ZAMANA HUSSAIN(A.S) KA"


*****************************************
These are Imaam's prayers in the battlefield
on 10th when Imaam A.S saw the army of Yazeed...
"O Allah! It is Thee in whom I trust amid all grief. You are my hope amid all violence. Thou are my refuge and provision in everything that happens to me. How many grievances weaken the heart, leaving me with no means to handle them, during which friend deserts me, and enemy rejoices in it. I lay it before Thee and complain of it to Thee, because of my desire in Thee, Thee alone. You relieve me of it and remove it from me. Thou are the Master of all Grace, the Essence of Goodness, and the Ultimate Resort of all Desire."



and

at the martyrdom of Ali Asghar...
"O' Allah, O' my Lord! My consolation is the fact that Thou in Thine Majesty are witnessing what I am going through."




Salaam mere Nabi....S.A.W
Salaam mere Hussain.......A.S



Allah hafiz

Sunday, 27 December 2009

The Beloved's Beloved---- Imaam Hussain A.S

Assalam
It’s the 9th of Moharram today and it’s the first of the two rozas for us in Kerala. At home, it’s tomorrow and the day after.


The first thing that I’d like to tell is that the 9th and 10th Rozas are not in remembrance of Imaam’s Shahadat….Huzur S.A.W Himself had observed these fasts and that was long before the Battle Of Karbala.
These two rozas are to mark the day wen the Children of Israel had been delivered by the Grace of Allah under the leadership of Prophet Moses A.S.
It has nothing to do with Imaam A.S. or the Bayt….


Next, just like last year I wish to do a post on Aashura.
That was my last year’s post on Aashura where I have tried to write a brief account on the history of the Shahadat and I have also copied a very famous song bout the Battle.
Today,
I think I should write bout wat I feel bout the way we shud ‘react’ to Muharram. Meaning my reaction to the Shia-Sunni tussle over the Imaam. I shall not be writing much of new stuff.. I will only copy and paste from posts I have written earlier…. And then link back to them…I think that wud be enuf.
How and why were we divided into Shias and Sunnis is too vast a thing for me to write here. For now, it would suffice to talk bout exactly ‘how much’ have we been divided.
The various ‘struggles’ between the Shias and the Sunnis is for everyone to see. Every now and then we hear of the problems in Iraq…..but I feel {I meaning me meaning the person who’s typing this down meaning the person who’s blog this is meaning Almas Shamim}that the passive resistance between the two sects (can we call it sect???) is way more than the very evident fights.
This can be noticed most vividly during Muharram…the First month of the Islamic calendar. The battle of Karbala was fought during this month and Imaam Hussain (A.S), the Beloved grandson of the Final Prophet of Islam, was martyred on the 10th Muharram at Nainawa, Karbala.
The Battle was fought between Muslims…. Between relatives…between Hussain A.S and Yazeed…
Twas a Battle of principles..of standing for wat was right…. Of upholding what Islam taught.
While the Shias in their love for the Bayt go to the extent of lashing themselves until they bleed, the Sunnis in their strange resistance to “all things Shia” somehow present it in a way that even shedding tears for Hussain is a Biddat.
plz read another post i had written also titled,  Aashura..... and the Battle of Karbala


And I quote myself again, “…And nowwwww since Shias give a very huge importance to Ali and the First Family……. Strangely Sunnis retort with a rejection of almost everything that goes in the line of praising Ali or Hussain……..(not everyone.. but a large number of Sunnis)..


It goes to the extent that many Sunnis refuse to hear the story of Karbala on Muharram …. Coz they label it to be a Shiite ritual.
A lot of times you’ll hear Sunnis saying that it’s wrong to ‘cry’ wen you hear the story of Karbala…they somehow relate it to the Shiite practices of lashing themselves and suffering pain on the occasion of Muharram.


Very personally speaking, I think, only a very hard hearted Muslim wudn cry on hearing bout the Battle of Karbala…..
It amazes me wen I find someone not in love with Hussain… I don’t understand how can any sane Muslim not be in love with Hussain. How can you not feel the pain that I do wen I hear of his shaheedi? Everything that happened was for us… then why cant you feel it? it really amazes me………


Yes, a lot of what Shias do in the name of love is Biddat….but wat is not is not.
Don’t go on labeling everythin as a ‘Biddat- Innovation’..
from my post Ali Maula


Wat I mean is that each time you shed a drop of tear for Imaam Hussain A.S, you’ll find the whole Muslim population (which consists more of Sunnis) surrounding you and imparting knowledge that it is just not done…
Yo brothers!! It is just not done!
When Huzur’s son had passed away, even Huzur’s eyes were filled with tears… you see? ‘crying’ is human. And I recently found a beautiful couplet which points to the fact that when we lose someone in our family, don’t we cry over the loss?? Each time we talk bout that person, don’t we feel the pain? Then how can you not feel the pain for Hussain A.S… it leaves me baffled.. totally!!!
Yeah! I know.. that the pain of Hussain is not to be felt on any one day or any one season.. it’s not a “Happy Mourning Day”.. that we mourn exclusively on one day and then forget bout it altogether.
I aint saying that….of course, the message of Karbala shud be carried with us every single day of our life. But this cannot be made the basis to shrug off the story of Karbala if you get to hear it at least once in a year….
Agar tum pure saal Karbala ko bhulaye baithte ho.. toh tumhara kasoor hai… agar yaad karte toh shayad Ashure ke din kuchh zyada yaad karne mei tumko burai nahi dikhta. Aur burai kyu? Kyuki ye Shia-iat hai?
I remember, before joining college… my mother’s constant complain to me was not to waste water.. and it was usually followed by telling me how our Imam and the Bayt had been martyred thirsty….
Each time mummy and I speak of the ‘Right vs Wrong’ things in life… mummy never fails to mention Karbala…..she says, ‘Usool me sirf 72 khade the.. aur Usool me qayam rehna hi Islam hain’
Kaise nahi yaad karte log Imam ki Shaheedi. Kaise nahi rona aata unko?Aap maatam nahi manate...Mat manao..Par dil ke kis kone mein ishq chhupa rakha hai.. woh toh dikhao...Mat khoon bahao... mat seena peeto..woh Biddat hai....Unka yaad bhar kar lo... toh tumhara kya bigad jayega???
Are haan!!! Shia mei shumaar ho jaoge.. ye bigad jaega…
This is the passive resistance I spoke of… the resistance to the expression of love for the Ahle Bayt…. Coz somehow….Sunnis are scared of ‘overexpression’ of their love..for the fear of doin wat the Shias do….
And this resistance is only widening the gap… this is making the Shias all the more immersed in their ‘way’ …coz weder knowingly, weder unknowingly, Sunnis have only distanced themselves from any overt expression of their feelings.
Of course, you shall say that being a good Muslim is more important than that.. toh bhai.. who toh obvious sa baat hai na??? who toh har ek ko banna hai…aap bas yeh kehte raho as a cover to why u never speak of the Bayt…aap bas kehte raho ki saal mei sirf ek din unko yaad karke kya..toh isse toh koi kaam nahi banta na?..... jo kehte ho..woh karo toh… ache musalman bano toh… pure saal apne zindagi mein karbala ko qaayam rakho toh…aapp toh na yeh karte hai… na who karte hain…. Aur jab koi matam manata hai.. toh unpar pathhar fekte hai…. Haan!! Bohot achhe musalman.!!
Ultimately, with all this hatred in the Sunnis for the Shias and vice versa...wat r we left with??? Each sect calling the other ‘Yazeed ke aulaad’….


Tum isliye maatam nahi manate kyuki tumko unse pyaar nahi, tum yazeed ke aulaad.

Tum maatam isliye manate ho kyuki tumne Hussain ko maara.. tum yazeed ke aulaad

Wow! The whole of Ahmed’s Ummati… yazeed ke aulaad…hmmm.

In any case. I, me, Almas (nothing shud be extrapolated to my family plz) do not wear black on Moharram…. And I do not mourn on this day… this day has been a very blessed day for mankind…..from Noah’s deliverance to the Pharaoh’s end. From Adam’s pardon to Joseph’s freedom. 10th of Aashura is a Blessed day.
The day Allah chose to deliver the Ummati in return for the Exalted Imam’s life.
It will never be a mourning day for me…. but I cant stop my tears wen I think that oh!! Today was the day wen Imam was martyred… and martyred for me….




Royen Wo jo munkar hain shahadat e HUSSAIN k.. ..
HUM zinda o Javed ka matam nahi kartay. . . 
ALLAMA IQBAL




Mazloom hi Mazloom ko rote hain jahan mei,
zalim kabhi Mazloom ka Matam nahi karte.
Apna koi Marr jay tu rote hain Tadap kar,
Par aale Nabi (S.A.W) ka Gham nahi karte.
Himmat hai to Mahshar main yeh kehna Paighambar say,...
Ke hum Eid to karte the Par Muharram nahi karte.
(ALLAMA IQBAL.)

P.S-written yesterday..


Allah hafiz

Saturday, 26 December 2009

Remembering The Tsunami- 26th December, 2004.


Assalam
Remembering the 26th December 2004 and all those who lost their dear ones and property.....
Life wud never be the same again for so many....
Thanking Allah for seeing us through the fear and the turmoil....
May Allah Protect us ever.
 Aameen

P.S.- The pics are of Port Blair.
P.S.2- Other Tsunami related posts in this blog:->

When The Sea Swallows The Land. .

TSUNAMI - 26th Dec 04- thru my eyes!

What A Pic!!!







The Muslim Christmas??????????

Assalam
So… I received many “Merry Christmas” smses today…. I replied to each one of them.
Yes, there are many, esp. in the West who’d claim that it’s wrong to wish people on any non-Muslim holidays…
Cool!
To them be their lives…
I believe that there is no harm in wishing people the happiness that they are wishing me.
And being an Indian, it gets all the more imperative, and more importantly, natural for us to wish each other.. and ‘live in harmony’- to be clich├ęd…


Well…
Now the thing is that…these friends of mine, who’d wished me.. were all Christians….and just in case u’ve forgotten, Christmas is actually a festival to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ (A.S.).
So, I guess twas pretty ok that my friends wished me… it was the birth of Christ… a moment of happiness.. so.. well….
This was until I logged on to the net….
I found two scraps awaiting me on Orkut….one had Santa Claus.. and the other had a Merry Christmas note….
Both were sent by Muslims.
And wen I logged on to FB, twas all the more fun… coz apparently Muslims were quite desp on not being able to contact each other to wish Christmas…


Now, I really wonder wat was all this about????


Firstly, we do NOT follow the Solar calendar… we follow the Lunar calendar…. So there is no point in wishing each other the birth of a Prophet on the same day every year….
Secondly, do you wish other on other festivals like Ramnavami or Ganesh Chaturthi??? We wish our Hindu friends, definitely we do… but I have never been wished by a Muslim on any such occasion ….. then y the deal bout Christmas?
Thirdly, as Muslims, how many of u all wish each other on Milad un Nabi?
And finally…. How many of u are even aware that the day after tomorrow is the tenth of Muharram???? The day of the martyrdom of our Beloved’s Beloved…
How many of us have thought of Him even once today? How many of us recall the pains that they went through?
And yet, we are wishing each other on a festival… that is oh-so-not our festival….


And THAT is precisely why I wrote the tweet


“i dnt undrstnd y a Muslim wud wish andr Muslim "Merry Xmas".Wish others,Y Muslims? since wen did v start believin its Eesa A.S's bday today?”

And just in case your vision is defective, lemme elaborate…
I have written that I see no point in why a Muslim, who doesn’t believe that it’s Christ’s bday today should wish ‘Merry Christmas’ to ME, another Muslim who doesn’t believe that it’s Christ’s bday today.
If I need to wish ‘merry Christmas’ I need to wish it to Davis, Deepti, Joseph and other friends…..
Why shud I wish Afzal, Aneesha or Azhar???
Don’t we all share the same belief? The same rules? The same practices?
Then why????


Now, if you are goin to tell me that there is no harm if you do wish… lemme remind you of a few commands where we are expected to be different…
1. the most prominent of all is the Hijab … the 5th component of Hijab includes avoiding any attire that is symbolic of another religion…wearing which clearly indicates that I belong to another religion….. so that we r not known to be that which we r not.
2. another one to do with appearance…the men are commanded to keep beards and shave the moustaches… only to be different from the others who, bear moustaches and shave the beards…
3. we are commanded to keep fast on the 9th and 10th of Moharram… not in remembrance of Imaam Hussain A.S. but in remembrance of the Prophet Moses A.S….. this fasting is prescribed to Jews also.. the difference being that they keep fasts only on one day.. and to be different from the Jews, Huzur S.A.W had prescribed us a fasting of TWO days….


Wat I mean is.. we have been COMMANDED to be different….
Wen we r living among others, it gets imperative that we don’t hurt anyone’s sentiment.
But that by no means implies that u shud stop being ‘different’ and adopt a festival that clearly belongs to some other religion as being your own.


Now, some got worked up coz of my status…
Maybe they misinterpreted it to mean that I do not want to wish Christmas to ANYONE…. Which is not the case.. the status is still there.. go read it.. I wrote that I do not understand the need of ‘two muslims wishing each other’ on Christmas.


Or maybe, they really do feel that ‘TWO MUSLIMS SHOULD or at least CAN WISH EACH OTHER’


Now, to that…
If u r a Muslim, and if u have read the above quoted examples, u know why I told wat I did….
And if u feel that “It has nothing to do with blief and that it is just a time for enjoyment, party n fun....”
As opposed to wat I feel, that “Christmas marks the birth of Christ for Christians”


I wonder who is showing more respect to this festival and to the Faith of the hundreds of Christians whom u call friends.
A little bit of googling will let you know that many devout Christians are themselves pretty sad bout the way Christmas has been reduced to a synonym for ‘party’….
Wen some say, “Jesus is the reason for the season”, they aren’t kidding!


As for people who think that by not wishing A Merry Christmas to another “MUSLIM”, I become any lesser of an Indian…..
I wonder what being an Indian means ????
If to be an Indian, I need to respect people for wat they are. Accept them wid their religions, as a part of my life… love them wid their religions… befriend them .. live wid them wid their religions… not force my religion upon them… I bet you, you wud be glad you ever met me coz in that case, I define India.
But,
If to be Indian is to be “cosmopolitan”…. And going by the word meaning, if it means I need to start becoming a little bit of every religion….. going to the church on Sundays, and the mosque 5 times a day…and establishing a little temple complete with all the pratimas, in my house… if anyone feels that this is required to be an Indian…I can only request two things-
One, plz read the constitution and change ur thinking.
Or
Hold on to ur thinking and change the Constitution.
And once the Constitution changes, I shall think weder or not to continue living in India.


As of now…. In the beautiful land called India,
The matrimonials still carry different sections….
Tamil
Telugu
Hindu
Christian
Urdu
And in one little corner…. Mostly by old divorcees who find it difficult to get a spouse, we see the section labeled “Cosmopolitan”.
And if the need arises for me to publish a matri ad, I am not planning to submit one under “Cosmopolitan”.
Thank You.


P.S- the only purpose of the post- I don’t stand my integrity being questioned...wen I know that I am NOT wrong.



Allah hafiz.




Friday, 25 December 2009

The Loner Me :)

Assalam
I aint joking wen I say that I feel I have gone mad.i seriously think that I have gone crazy.
I have grown to dislike human company.
There are only certain places where I don’t mind being surrounded by people, there are very few people whom I like talking to and all this to only a certain extent.
I cant take humans beyond it.
Seriously.
This hostel is absolutely empty now. Totally… and you wont believe how much I enjoy it..
Yupps!!! I don’t like seeing the gals leave with their bags.. it somehow makes me want to go home.. but, otherwise, wen they HAVE ACTUALLY gone home.. wen this hostel has only one inmate besides the nuns, i.e., ME…. I feel like I’m in Heaven….
Rite now am sitting with my lappy in the verandah…… and from where I am sitting, I cant see a single light on in the entire hostel save the bulb flickering behind me.. and there’s a call.. wait!!
It was a ‘Reject’..
Newaz..
So ya.. the only light source here (besides the light from my screen) is that dull little bulb behind my head….
I have started enjoying all this.. the silence.. the lack of people.. the peace…
I don’t know whether this is yet another reconciliation with fate… or whether this is really what I have become.
This is my first Christmas in Alleppey.. and inshaAllah this will be my first New Year here…I don’t seem to feel anything ‘bad’ about it….
I remember those days in my first year when I needed friends and didn’t get..
I had come to this place not knowing anything bout the world….
People used to tell me that it’s important for us to go out (to mainland India) to know how the world runs.. they used to say that we live in a cocoon.. we don’t know anything..
And I used to mock them…
Khair..
I know now.. I was wrong…
Wen I came here I thot that it wud be the most normal thing to make friends…
I didn’t know that not knowing Malayalam wud me such a set back to me..
I didn’t know that not being a malayali wud be the biggest sin of my life…
This is the very place where I used to sit and wait…….. and I wont say further… coz these are memories that are mine…. And mine .. and mine….
It took me a very long time to understand that you don’t get friends here…..
This is not my cocoon.
The Northies had told me that “Yaha pe tumse baat karne waale sirf hum honge… koi mud ke dekhta bhi nahi hai….”
Maybe I disagree with them on everything else.. lekin this is one thing I shall never disagree with…
Sachi…koi mudke dekhta bhi nahi hai…….
There was a time wen it hurt me …
There was a time wen I used to feel the loneliness..
Today am a ten on ten loner… certified…
I revel in my solitude…..
You see??? How I have used ‘solitude’ for the present times….
That’s the way I have changed… solitude is the positive side of loneliness…I find it solitude now.. :)
I avoid people…
Wen people tell me that they want to meet me wen I go home next…I don’t reply.. coz u see.. I no longer want to meet anyone….
I have got so used to myself that I don’t want any intrusion between me and me….
‘main aur meri tanhayee’ :) yo!! That’s the phrase for me.. hee hee hee…


Now, one thing that I want to clear is that whether first year, whether now.. I have never been bored alone… Alhamdulillah :) I have 3000 hobbies…I have made curtains… decorated my room.. then got angry and torn everything down.. :P then re-decorated… I have made book marks…. Read and read and read… wrote and wrote and wrote…. made paintings…. And wat not…. I have never been bored… but ya!!! Earlier I used to FEEL the loneliness.. now, it’s the most natural thing….
The only thing that has suffered is my studies….
I have completely stopped studying…..


But, wel.. we can drop that for now..


So, here I am … the loner… enjoying my company to the fullest..
This reminds me of a blog I had read long ago.. twas by a girl… around my age..
She had written that her father hated being told ‘I am bored’. Coz wen a person says that he is bored, he is implying that he himself is a boring person…..and that is precisely why he is getting bored in his own company..
Lolz… :p nice thot I must say…


And so I really don’t like being asked, “don’t you get bored sitting in Punnapra alone??” I totally hate this question…


I remember, wen the gals from my batch had left .. after a week or so, one of them had asked me, “Almas, howz life in Punnapra?”
I had replied, “ya.. fine!!!”
And she had promptly told, “Ahhhh!!! Don’t lie”…
And I was like, #%^@....WTF???


That’s the way it is….lolz…
People know u r lonely…
So they expect you to be sad..
They themselves don’t want to lessen ur burden in any way…
No one.. and I mean NO ONE.. calls you up… or sends you a message (in spite of the “Students Suvidha Sim”)
But they all, wen they are bout to go home for hols… or have just returned from hols…, ask you, “what were you doing? Don’t you get bored?”
And they have an answer framed in their minds already…

“Oh yes my dear *fucker*(plz insert name).. I have been alone these days…. (And since I am a loser wid no hobbies.. and since I am just like you)…I have been bored to death…. I didn’t have anything to do… I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.. waiting for the days to pass, so that I mite meet you and other *fuckers* who’d ask me if I was bored!!! Seriously, you know me so well!!! You can understand my feelings so well, that I wonder if you were my twin in the past life….”


So, wen you say that ya.. life’s going fine…
They wave you off !!!
Haaaahhh!!!


Like people who always have their golden words of advice.."almas don’t go here alone.. don’t go there alone….”
For the hel of it!!! if u r so effing bothered.. y don’t u come along wid me??
And if u cant … then pray keep that big hole under ur nostrils shut…..


Newaz.. this wasn’t wat I was tlakin bout…I don’t know how I got here..
So, wat I was teling is that..
I ENJOY this time… this time wen the hostel is empty….
There are no idiots to dirty the washbasins… no one to sing in the bathrooms… no one to anything…
I love it this way…


This has shown me wat I really am….
This has shown me that ‘Faith’ is wat keeps me ticking…. This has shown me that ‘losing’ happens and happens for good……
This has shown me that I hate comments under my posts unless its from aapa or someone very close…..
This has shown me that I don’t just like writing….. I live by it….
This has shown me that wen I write… i have a way of doing it…
This has shown me whom I love.. and who love me……..
This has shown me that I really do love myself..
This has shown me that I really enjoy wat I do…
This has shown me that I really am the best, however much you flinch reading this…..
Lolz….


I love it….
I love this silence…..
I don’t like crowds…. I so love it this way….
And we never know wat’s it that God’s preparing us for…..


and maybe I am a bitch for saying this… but I love hearing people crack down under pressure.. I love people crying over “how shud I go there alone?”
“wil anyone come wid me to eat?”…… blah blah blah blah blah blah…
But there’s one which is my favourite…. All time favourite….
:) :) :) :)
One of my friends was looking pretty down…I asked her what the matter was and she told me, “ today morning there was no one to accompany me in the college bus…. They had gone in the previous bus… i had to come alone… I was feeling so lonely…..”


Each time I think of it, I grin from ear to ear….. :D :D :D
Yeah!!! I am a bad gal..
But, then… who isn’t???
And if u’ve answered ‘Boys’
Consider urself *cyberkicked* :D :D :D
………….


And there’s a message..
Wait..
And Anuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu’s gottttttttttttttttttttt plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddddddddddddd :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
C kdv cj s ,mv deaklbkbckadbvfsbgleb,
dkjbvekjbvdskjfbviugfkacbwhjv
:D :D :D :D :D


Love you babes!! Congrats :D
And she wants to give a surprise to S.. I just hope she’s not reading this… :P :P :P
I wont erase it though….
:P:P:P
Chalo bye..
Gotto call her up

P.S- pic - Punnapra Beach.... me behind the lens :)

Allah hafiz



Now reading ... "The Witch of Portobello" by 'Paulo Coelho'.

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