Sunday, 28 February 2010

22 Reflections From The Same Mirror....errr... extended version.... :P


My latest 'Profile About Me' on Orkut-

*I trust in God.
*Believe dat everything hapens for a reason, & at d end it all turns out right.
*Love being happy, laughing, thinking, dreaming, reading, writing…..
*Hate ice-creams.
*Hate blooming flowers. Prefer flower buds and dried flowers.
*Love sky, stars, sea, trees, horizon, grass…. Hate shrubs.
*Am bad at remembering faces and names……
*CANT smile spontaneously at people, by the time I realize that I shud be smiling at someone, he/she turns away….
*Suffer from recurrent upper resp. tract infections…
*LOVE travelling alone.
*HATE crowds
*In general, don’t talk much…. But wen I do talk, it’s so LOUD that ppl feel I talk a lot.
*With “some” people, I can talk non-stop….e.g. mummy.
*Very attached to my things… from my pencil to the price tag on the first dress I bought from some shop…
*LOVE greeting cards.
*Wanted to be a Journalist-Writer… didn’t agree.
*Then wanted to be a Teacher-Writer….. family didn’t agree.
*Never wanted to be a Doc….. had to agree to family.
*Hijabi by choice… not by “oppression”
*Addicted to “Quotations”…. Been copying quotations since I was in 5th standard… filled up mannnyyy diaries.
*Cant STAND ppl preaching me….
*LOVE learning…. I learn by reading... by doubting… and by searching for the truth….. I DO NOT take ppl ‘preaching’ things to me.
*Don’t like intrusion into my world.
*Scared of being hurt, so built a wall around myself…. allow very few ppl to cross over and reach me.
*Rude….. unintentionally.
*Feel dat “Google Search” z the best gift to mankind….. like I told, I LOVE learning..bout civilizations, ppl, cultures, mysteries, magic, astrology, philosophy….etcccccccccccc.
*Firmly believe in DESTINY. You don’t believe in Destiny, you cant be a part of my life.
*Rigid beliefs.
*Never make beliefs by lukin at one side of the picture.
*Love holding hands.
*Love sitting silently wid ppl I love.
*Do not believe in ‘time-pass’ relations of any sort. If I love you, I love you for life,
*Avoid ppl, coz most ppl befriend you only for ‘time-pass’.
*Am a collector, I collect LOTS of things.
*I had collected thousands of Shahrukh pics, until 6th Std. wen my parents threw away the collection coz it was getin ‘out-of-control’.
*Maintain a dream journal.
*Believe in astrology, miracles, magic, angels, demons, intuitions, visions and all things supernatural.
*Am a late child, wen I was born mummy was 36, abbu 42.
*Am an emergency CS baby, mummy’s EDC was 16th Jan ’88.
*Had to be 4 yrs to join LKG, I was 3 and a half, so my bday was changed to 5th Jan ’87, dats wat the records still carry.
*Family roots from Peshawar, but, prefer being called a SOUTHIE.
*Love advertisements.
*Never had relatives or cousins as I grew up. Prolly dats y am so attached to mummy and cats-they were my only ‘living’ friends.
*Cannot play wid toys and dolls. I don’t know how to. My aapa used to play and I looked on.
*Love looking at aapa…’s almost like staring.
*Prefer veg over non-veg.
*Hate guys wearing T-Shirts.
*Abbu calls me ‘abbujaan’, mummy calls me ‘abba’, ‘kimmo’, ‘kichu’, ‘kinnu’ and all things that begin wid ‘ki’, aapa calls me ‘tanki’ derived from ‘nautanki’, jaanus call me ‘momci’, bhaiya calls me ‘KIRAAAAANNNNN’.
*Love prayer songs, prayers.
*Try to be gr8ful as much as I can.
*Want to be a mummy just like my mummy.
*Want to learn cooking.
*Optimist. Don’t like negative ppl around me.
*Love myself, love my family.

Allah hafiz

The Absurdly Perfect Prince!!!


I was reading a novel- ‘New Moon’ by Stephenie Meyer- ‘Twilight’ ka sequel hai. And guess wat’s the most attractive part of the series? ‘Edward Cullen’ of course- for one, he looks like ‘him’ and second, he’s just so perfect. Now, since Edward is a vampire- he can do all those magical things like running at a breathtaking speed and all the blahs… but, even if we remove the ‘magical’ factor from it… we’d find that he’s any girl’s dream. His protective nature, his wish to keep Bella safe and all that. It’s all so romantically perfect that it feels like a crime. Authors shudn create such characters. Characters that defy the laws of nature- characters that can fill us with so much pain that there is no such character in our life. I mean, just look at him! Edward is BEAUTIFUL- painfully so, and this is something I can understand so well. In the past one year I’ve learnt the meaning of ‘painfully beautiful’- and oh! Have I learnt it well! Besides being that, he’s like the best gentleman around- to Isabella, at least- and that I think is more than enuf..coz’ the others have been shown as hating him coz’ he’s a cold bloodsucker, after all!
So, Edward is beautiful, immaculately mannered and RICH- Stinking RICH- to be precise. By virtue of whatever, but, RICH- and dat is all dat matters here. And since he’s sumthin like more than a hundred years old- he’s academically brilliant.
Not to mention that he can enter your room at night thru the window and make you lie in his arms until morning and carry you on his back and run like wind. And to top it all, he’s shown as being ‘Single’ for a century. 

Yeah! This was wat was needed! 

He has all this Godly characterisitics and he hasn’t been attracted to any other female in his 100 and something odd years of life… 

until of course, he meets you, ‘the Bella’- who’s as plain as plain cud be, who has divorced parents, a workaholic-TVholic father and a mom married to some other man. You, ‘the Bella’, who’s even supernaturally ‘blessed’ and manages to fall almost everywhere.

This wud make any normal girl flip over with hope and excitement, that she, with all her faults, and worse still, with all her ‘normalcy’, can find a Greek God- who is a God in more than one sense of the word- who has also never ben in love wid anyone but her. *rolling eyes*

And you know what are the only exceptional traits bout you as against the millions in this bloody bloodsucking Adonis?

1. This 100 years old lover of urs cannot read your mind ( as if ‘normally’ all of us are supposed to be reading each other’s mind *blah*)

 2. This pale-skinned-God-like-drop-dead-gorgeous Monster finds you irresistible- not as much coz he’s attracted to ur body as coz’ he’s attracted to ur ‘Delicious Blood’! you see? He wants to make love to you, alrite! But, he also wants to bloody EAT YOU UP!!! [or drink you down, choose whatever!]

WOW!!! What off-setting traits have been given to you by the author!
***Thunderous applause***

As if a prince who could kiss you and wake you up from a deadly sleep or a prince whu’d search his entire kingdom for a girl whose foot fit into a glass slipper or a prince disguised as a frog and only a kiss away from you- were not enuf; now we have our darling vampire- Edward Cullen!
Oh! How much worse is it goin to get?
No wonder people keep searching for a ‘true love’ and never find it! Thanks to people called ‘Authors’. Huh!

Allah hafiz.

Friday, 19 February 2010

My First Prayers- Thayyab....Hasbi Rabbi Jallallah....Yatta tu hai Mowla tu hai.... :) :)

Well, this post is basically a reminiscence wala post :D :D :D
Actually, I have been searching high and low for a certain dua that I used to recite as a kid. And while doing that I recalled all the little prayers I was taught by mummy, and all the Islamic stories she used to tell me…. how she has taught me all that I know bout the Prophets, the various religions and history of Islam. i cant thank Allah enuf for my mummy. :) :)
Lolzzz.. this is how knowledge was preserved in the gone ages…..- by word of mouth….. my mummy learnt from her mummy and passed it down to us and now inshaAllah it lies upon us to pass it down to our children..


So here I shall write down two of the earliest prayers I had learnt.

Firstly, I used to say
“Bismillah la la maeen” for “Bismillah-hir-Rehman-ir-Rahim”
:) :)
I don’t remember this part… I’ve been told by mummy.

And now to the prayers….

Here is the first real prayer that I learnt to say. I used to read this every morning after waking up, every night before sleeping and before each time I had food or drank milk….. and this is absolutely fresh in my memory. I mean I still remember reading this every morning and before I started sucking at the bottle for milk (I drank milk and water from the bottle for quite a long time- upto 3-4 yrs of age).
It goes..

Pehla kalma- Thayyab
La ilaha illallah, Muhammadur Rasulallah.
Allah ek hai.
Paak aur be-aib hai.
Woh hamesha se hai
Aur hamesha rahega.
Hasbi Rabbi Jallallah
Noor Muhammad Sallallah
Ma fi Qalibi Ghairullah
Haq Lailaha Illallah…

The ‘Hasbi Rabbi’ used to be ‘sung’, not read…. And I still remember the extraaaaa stress that I gave to the “Haq” in the last line…. :P :P :P :P

(I have later found many people singing Noor Muhammad Sallallah AFTER Ma fi Qalbi… in any case, this is the order in which I was taught and I used to sing)

Now the second prayer is the one which I am so desperately searching. I don’t remember learning it and not even reading it ever.. but my parents had taught me and there were recorded cassettes at home wid me reciting this dua. Now since I don’t remember it at all, it must have been really really long back…. But it cannot possibly be before Thayyab and Hasbi Rabbi coz I believe those wud be the first things all sane Muslims wud teach their children…. It’s only coz I used to repeat it so many times and even after I joined school, that I remember it so well…. Otherwise, I am sure it was taught to me before I was taught this second dua… here are a few lines that I do remember..

Yatta tu hai, mowla tu hai
Sab hai bande Aaqa tu hai
Aye duniya ke paalan haare
Sab jeete hai tere sahaare

Phool mei khushbu, phal mei rangat
Kaisi kaisi bakhshi nemat
Seep ko Tune moti bakhsha
Tune banaye chand sitare
Badal Tere hukum se aaye

:( :( that’s all i remember...
Apparently it was taken from Urdu ki pehli kitaab .... but that book is missing….it’s been a long long time now..
And even those cassettes are nowhere to be found (jisme my recitation was recorded)
Anyone who’s reading this post and knows dat dua is requested to plz help me find it…
Allah bless….
:) :) :)
Allah hafiz

Saturday, 13 February 2010

Almas Shamim ~qUOTEd~


My tweets.... from where I left in 2009 upto January'10 :) I have gone insane :P
and it's in reverse order... oki?

I could go on writing. . . Forever and a while :) 1:37 AM Jan 29th 

• Coz laaton ke bhoot, baaton se nahee maante. . 

Because they know the name of what I am looking for, they think they know what I am looking for! - anon 10:15 PM Jan 28th 

• everyone wants happiness without any pain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain- anonymous

• White horse :) 6:35 PM Jan 28th 

• Thinking. 6:03 PM Jan 28th

The comonest n most severe chromosomal defect is 46 XY .... Most chrcterstc feature is asshole-ism. 1:21 PM Jan 28th

• Had a dream, saw that you have a girl friend named vinni :p 8:21 AM Jan 28th

• Assalam alaykum 8:20 AM Jan 28th

• Child. 8:25 PM Jan 27th

• And when i told you to see something. . . You didnt have time. And seriously, i feel like such a fool. 7:12 PM Jan 27th

• the more i think bout you.. the more i fill myself with hatred........... y did u do this to me????? i feel i hate the whole world. 5:26 PM Jan 27th

• you have hurt me so much........... i cud cry my whole life......... 5:18 PM Jan 27th You and me together. . Forever we will be. . 11:40 AM Jan 27th

• Assalam alaykum 10:19 AM Jan 27th

• Are you there? 7:05 PM Jan 26th

• Was talkin continuously for 5 hours. . . Now got a splitting headache :( :( :( 7:01 PM Jan 26th

• Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. Sorry, if i've got to cry alone, i choose to do the laughing too alone. :) :) 12:21 PM Jan 26th

• Didnt study. Was bak-baking. . . 10:33 AM Jan 26th

• Am in the LH . . . Trying to study Pneumonia :p 10:01 AM Jan 26th

• "Its a disgrace to the country if you ask for attendance today." Dr. Jaykumar 9:03 AM Jan 26th

• Happy Republic Day 8:59 AM Jan 26th

• Assalam alaykum 7:52 AM Jan 26th

• Man never likes being where he is. . . He always wants to be somewhere else. . 10:16 PM Jan 25th

• Chammu :) Janu :) Blub you :) 7:55 PM Jan 25th

• ab toh i dont think i wil ever be able to turn off my lappy :)) 7:34 PM Jan 25th
• :) it was deleted in march last year :P 7:32 PM Jan 25th

i found his photo in the recycle bin...............Allah i cant really thank you!!! 7:25 PM Jan 25th

• Love is Bitter Chocolate.... 6:15 PM Jan 25th

• jaag utha hai sapna kiska meri in aankhon mein? ek nayee zindagi shaamil ho rahi saanson mein.... 6:00 PM Jan 25th

• slowww network.. plz jaldi karo.... mere ko dher saara kaam hai :( 5:53 PM Jan 25th

• raat din meri aankhon mein koi parchhayi lehraane lagi... khamoshiyaan gungunane lagee... 5:50 PM Jan 25th

• Khamoshiyaan gungunane lagee.... Tanhaiyaan muskuraane lagi.. 5:42 PM Jan 25th

• Jaan meri ja rahi sanam. . 4:48 PM Jan 25th

• I had a dream, dont remember much except him and khamoshiya 1:59 PM Jan 25th

• Assalam alaykum 6:34 AM Jan 25th

• Heartless you. Restless me. 11:35 PM Jan 24th

• I cant take it any longer. I just cant. 11:09 PM Jan 24th

• Hungry 6:50 PM Jan 24th

• It hurts. 6:24 PM Jan 24th

Very strictly, self love is not the first love. . It is the ONLY love :) 4:41 PM Jan 24th

and i cant stop loving something coz my love irritates you.... i mean!!! who the hell are you???? :P 12:28 PM Jan 24th

• coz speaking only wat u want to hear wud make me just like you- a big loser!!!! 12:22 PM Jan 24th

• and ppl.... have the courage to speak directly.... dusron ke kandhe mein bandook rakhke goli mat chalao...... 12:19 PM Jan 24th

• so watever u feel......... do i care??????? not a bit baby!!! not a little bit!!! This is me!!! take me or leave me... and see if i care.. 12:17 PM Jan 24th from web

• my childhood pics on orkut.:p 11:41 AM Jan 24th

• Appam :) 8:22 AM Jan 24th

• I wish. . . 8:03 AM Jan 24th

• Take care of that throbbing thing held in your palms. . . . 8:02 AM Jan 24th

Coz only the blind cant see the visible. . . Blind in the eyes. . Or. . Blind in the heart. . . Or blind in the mind.

Allahuakbar. . . Allahuakbar. . . Allahuakbar. ....

• SubhanAllah :) :) :) a million times over

• No. Dont expect. But dont utter the wrong word. Coz 'God is in the word'.

She is as beautiful as the moment i saw her. . .

• 1 hour :) and am missing you already :p

• :) you make me mad.

• You make me happy.

• You :)

• Your duplicate

• Assalam alaykum

• Shabba khair darling . . :) close thine eyes and as thou sleepest, Heaven will change thy fortune from evil to good.. . :)

You and me together. . . Forever we will be . .

Perfect. . . We are made for each other :)

Your silence is breaking my heart. . . Into a million little pieces. . .

• You

• 2 points to remember; 1. Dua mei inshaAllah nai bolte. . .And 2. JazakAllah should be followed by Khairan. .

Ok. Na tum mera sar khao, na hum tumhara sar khaye. . . Truce ! ! !

• Sleep is beautiful.

• Assalam alaykum

Forgive us when we err, punish us if we dont deserve pardon, but dont ever forsake us please. We are lost without you.

• Allah . . . . Please take care of us.

• Thank you once again :)

• Lost in the sands of time. . .

• Dont turn blind to Allah. Dont turn blind to your parents. What you give, comes back to you, someday or the other, somehow or the other.

• Wow. . . Maghrib. . . :) and rini has made the same tweet :) :)

• Eyes are the mirror to your soul. *blah*

Drifting in and out of logic. .

Doing your work properly is a way of thanking God for His graces . . . So go ahead . . Thank God

God's mill grinds slow but sure :)

• Assalam alaykum

• Alhamdulillah :) twitter is back :)

• Limitless. . . . My hatred for them is limitless. .

Two bad situations - Not being able to imagine and Imagining too much.

• I was reading my private blog, have copied a few lines that i found sweet :) will write them on Jalpari inshaAllah :)

• And i have the days when i cant eat at the canteen. . . . Today has been one such :(

Who can love the canteen more than me? Its my life, my soul, my breath.

• I cant hear you sir. . . But God. . . I can see you :) and thats a blessing too :)

Is it that all good looking people become surgeons? Or all surgeons automatically turn good looking?

• This hospital is a big maze. . . So difficult to find places. . . I keep getting lost. . .

• Guess whose class? ? Dr. Dimple Cheeks :) :) :) after ages. . . :)

• And if the class is at two, screw the fuckers. . . 1:14 PM Jan 20th

• Ok. So no coffee there. . . And no idea where the class is. Now goin to the bru shop. . . . 1:13 PM Jan 20th

• I miss you. . . And thats the strangest thing i can say to you. 1:07 PM Jan 20th

• Now. . . Waitinggg . . Classroom closed. . Want a coffee. . . Koi hai kya ? 1:05 PM Jan 20th

• Case presentation . . . Over :) chalo Alhamdulillah :) pneumonia :) 1:04 PM Jan 20th

• Coffee 1:01 PM Jan 20th

• Subah savere. . . 7:48 AM Jan 20th

• Assalam alaykum 7:45 AM Jan 20th

And with every second passing by, you are either getting closer or farther away. . . 11:29 PM Jan 19th

• And who had known that this would be ? 10:31 PM Jan 19th

• If airtel was a person, i would kill him. . . 7:19 PM Jan 19th

Life is strange, people are stranger. . . 6:23 PM Jan 19th

Someday . . . . Youll miss me. 5:27 PM Jan 19th

• Im craving for you and just like a fool, there's no way i can stop stop stop my desire. . 1:33 PM Jan 19th

• SubhanAllah ! ! ! You are so essentially gorgeous ! ! ! 1:17 PM Jan 19th

• Assalam alaykum 11:16 AM Jan 19th

• I shouldn or should i ? 2:08 AM Jan 19th

And when they say 'Faith can move mountains', they arent bluffing. . . 1:23 AM Jan 19th

• I wonder if I love You. . . But yo ! I have Faith in You. .

Thank you God, for not giving me all that You haven't. Coz I know not what You plan, and who can plan better than You. 1:22 AM Jan 19th

And if I dont have something, its coz I'm Allah's favourite. 1:19 AM Jan 19th

Coz what Allah blesses. . . Cannot be doomed by any curse. . And what Allah curses. . Knows nothing but doom. 1:15 AM Jan 19th

• And so when we start something new, remember we should start it based on as much truth as we can muster up. . . 1:14 AM Jan 19th

Coz little things matter much more than little minds can imagine. . . 1:13 AM Jan 19th

 • And long back i had told that a relation not build upon truth doesnt survive. . . . It didnt. 1:12 AM Jan 19th

•As if i dont know you. . . And your loser friends. 1:09 AM Jan 19th

 • Ha ha ha ha joke ho gaya yeh toh :D :D

Tarkari budhi :D :D :D 9:55 PM Jan 18th

• Its called madness. . . 9:48 PM Jan 18th

Life always takes us where we should be. . . At the time wen we shud be there. . 7:09 PM Jan 18th

Give people a chance. . . Any stranger could be the man of your life. 4:06 PM Jan 18th

 • This time . . . Last year. . My kingdom had no ruler. . . 3:49 PM Jan 18th

Life gets hilarious by the moment. . . . . :p 3:39 PM Jan 18th

• You and me together. . . Forever we will be. . . 3:38 PM Jan 18th

• Coz life's like that. . . . 3:32 PM Jan 18th

• Why did it turn this way for me? ? 3:31 PM Jan 18th

Every morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight. . . Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to Endless Night .. . . 2:35 PM Jan 18th

• Assalam alaykum 7:48 AM Jan 18th

• Why am i searching for beauty? The most beautiful thing is mine. . . 12:02 AM Jan 18th

 • You are like a light feather. . . Floating heavenly. . . The slightest of breeze blows you away, but, oh! How beautiful you are. . 10:42 PM Jan 17th

Even your next breath is uncertain. . . Life is too long an affair to be confined by certainty. . 9:59 PM Jan 17th

You flow through my heart. . to every part of me.

Twinkle twinkle little star. How i wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. 8:20 PM Jan 17th

• Perhaps, i am too wrong. But, its not in my hands. . . If i could, i would. I cant help it. Not at all. 8:18 PM Jan 17th

• A blocked nose doesnt help while eating. :x or reading aloud :x or brushing teeth :x or talking :x or sleeping :x 7:34 PM Jan 17th

• And maybe its all meaningless for you. . . Not for me though. For me, every moment has a hidden treasure. And all of this treasure is ours. 7:31 PM Jan 17th

• Allah does not set tasks on a soul beyond its capacity. Qur'an Paak 2:286 6:36 PM Jan 17th

• Writing. Getting tensed. Having headache. Missing you. Loving you. And blowing nose. 6:08 PM Jan 17th

• Mmmmm 4:49 PM Jan 17th

• sick.. still.... 11:33 AM Jan 17th

• Assalam alaykum 8:21 AM Jan 17th

• Ok 11:58 PM Jan 16th

It only takes a moment for a life to change forever. -Angels Crest by Leslie Schwartz 2:04 PM Jan 16th

• I totally love Allwin's updates :) :) 8:49 PM Jan 15th

• Mmmmmmmmmmmm delicious :) :) :) 4:21 PM Jan 15th

• Solar eclipse dekha? :) 2:37 PM Jan 15th

• Mangda naseeba kuchh aur hai. . . 5:35 PM Jan 14th

My Darling Loser. . . :p love you :p 5:02 PM Jan 14th ]

Now this is what you'd call being a Hopeless Romantic :) :) :) 1:17 PM Jan 14th

• Assalam alaykum 5:59 AM Jan 14th

Did we lose some kind of match to some kind of country ? ? 1:51 AM Jan 14th

OLLASIS 10:49 PM Jan 13th

• Bekar ka joke mat maro. . . 5:27 PM Jan 13th

• Fir se toot gaya mera chappal. . . :( 1:36 PM Jan 13th

• Assalam alaykum

Zindagi Mubarak Ho :) :) 11:29 PM Jan 12th

Coz hearts were made to be broken. . . 7:04 PM Jan 12th

• Jalpari. . . 6:11 PM Jan 12th

• Spiralling down. . . 3:57 PM Jan 12th

• Trying. . . 3:14 PM Jan 12th

• I hate this op 10:14 AM Jan 12th

• Assalam alaykum 8:34 AM Jan 12th

• Its over. . . 9:41 PM Jan 11th

Either a bacha or a budha. . . :) :) :) 7:08 PM Jan 11th

• Sachi :) 5:25 PM Jan 11th

• I am in love with this sir :) 11:52 AM Jan 11th

• Assalam alaykum 7:13 AM Jan 11th

Each day I travel down the roads to my future Each day I gaze at my marbels Each day I live a part of my dream Each day I wonder, I marvel.. 5:04 PM Jan 10th

Tiny pieces of stone- worthless for one, priceless for another. 5:03 PM Jan 10th

• Appam . . Breakfast and lunch :) 1:12 PM Jan 10th

• Assalam alaykum 8:13 AM Jan 10th

• slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww network 10:30 PM Jan 9th ]

I wonder what is it that keeps you so busy. . . 12:19 PM Jan 9th

73 31 87 61 11:42 AM Jan 9th

• Over and over I look in your eyes, you are all I desire, you have captured me. . . 10:27 PM Jan 8th

Mere sapne ho jahan, dhundu main aisi nazar. . (saanson ki zarurat). 10:26 PM Jan 8th

A life of dreams is yet to unfold. . . 6:39 PM Jan 8th

• Chalo Super fast. . . Oh. . KSRTC ka yaad aa gaya . . :_) :_) mere toh aankh bhar aaye . . .

• I love aapa's comments on my blog :) probably the only reason why comments i still allow comments on blogger :) and she wrote a longgg one. 2:51 PM Jan 8th

• I has a big happy :)) Alhamdulillah :)) 2:01 PM Jan 8th

• A blink. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 1:41 PM Jan 8th

• Rusted 9:04 AM Jan 8th

• I hope we have private today. 7:51 AM Jan 8th

Wow. . . Kya khaak wow. . . 2:42 AM Jan 8th

• Assalam alaykum 2:23 AM Jan 8th

And the winner isssssss . . . . Miss Curly Hair :) :) :) :) 9:01 PM Jan 7th

• ShaimAlmaShaimAlmaShaimAlmaShaimAlmaS. . . 8:38 PM Jan 7th

"Velvet Voice" vs "Gorgeous Eyes" 8:02 PM Jan 7th

• Quitting. 1:03 PM Jan 7th

• Assalam alaykum 3:19 AM Jan 7th

• Sad 8:06 PM Jan 6th

• You are the biggest loser in this world. You have no idea how much you are goin to regret this. 7:42 PM Jan 6th

• I bought safety pins. . . 20 rupees mei 100 :p i has a happy :p 5:42 PM Jan 6th

• Ultimate waste. 5:09 PM Jan 6th

Eyes seeking someone, oblivious to the gaze set on them.... 4:01 PM Jan 6th

• Assalam alaykum 9:32 AM Jan 6th

I want to hold my breath, if only for a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10:12 PM Jan 5th

• Just not feeling good. 7:51 PM Jan 5th

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. :) -LH WALL.4:59 PM Jan 5th

• I really cant afford to sleep anymore. 1:38 AM Jan 5th

• Assalam alaykum 1:37 AM Jan 5th

Happy 6th Monthiversary to me :) :) :p :p ;) ;) 4:46 PM Jan 4th

• Pammu's class :) 1:08 PM Jan 4th

• Disgusting 12:31 PM Jan 4th

• Had a dream of college, beautiful bathrooms, LR, yasir calling up from mumbai. 6:07 AM Jan 4th

• Assalam alaykum 6:06 AM Jan 4th

• Want to sleep, and wake up. 2:00 AM Jan 4th

• Abey lonely planet. Ek thappad lagega. . . 1:31 AM Jan 4th

• Missing you . . 12:04 AM Jan 4th

You are such a loser. . . You are losing me. . . I am getting lost. Wat a misery :( :p :p :p 11:41 PM Jan 3rd

• Over and over i look in your eyes, you are all i desire, you have captured me. 11:15 PM Jan 3rd

What do you do in the hostel ? *wondering* 9:48 PM Jan 3rd

You are REALLY SWEET, a SILENT KILLER, the MOST HANDSOME, DARING, and DEFINITELY MALE . . . ;D certified by ur clasmate :) & ME loves YOU! 9:34 PM Jan 3rd

• Party day :) 7:08 PM Jan 3rd

• Maaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllliiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyy :) :) :) hee hee hee :) Happy Smiley Day again.... :) :) 6:21 PM Jan 3rd

• And Alhamdulillah.. tis working :P 6:18 PM Jan 3rd

• this is trial.... trial of labour 6:17 PM Jan 3rd

• i was born t "BE A HERO"

• Guys like me coz "I AM SWEET" 4:01 PM Jan 3rd

• meeeooooooooooowwwwwwww!!!!!!! 3:16 PM Jan 3rd

• this is really ridiculous 2:58 PM Jan 3rd

• Have been sleeping all day. Its 1 pm now. Will pray Zuhar, then i dont know what to do. Maybe net for sometime. Maybe lunch.Yo yo:)lunch:) 1:03 PM Jan 3rd

I had a nightmare this morning :x saw a witch. 9:43 AM Jan 3rd

• She came yesterday. Twas a saturday :) 9:41 AM Jan 3rd

New catty . . Monica :) :) 9:40 AM Jan 3rd from

• Assalam alaykum 3:52 AM Jan 3rd

• I has a hungry :( 7:08 PM Jan 2nd

• I hate the girls in my hostel. 4:39 PM Jan 2nd

• Blah blah blah blah . . 4:38 PM Jan 2nd

Anisa spoke to me today, bhaiya spoke yesterday. Alhamdulillah :) 3:05 PM Jan 2nd

• Where are you? Seriously. . . Now toh even i am wondering. 2:49 PM Jan 2nd

• Ok. I couldn find a duty hs female. So i am out again. And i dont know where to go. :( :( :( hope the class ends soon.

• Network will vanish now. Bye :)

• I just hope i dont come across any teachers. I am beginning my journey to the duty hs. :) 8:46 AM Jan 2nd

Life will end one day. No one knows which day. 8:45 AM Jan 2nd

• In short, i want to go home. 8:44 AM Jan 2nd

• And i am sacred of entering the wards. But i cant be sittin in the vada kada until class ends. I want to see fiza, talk to mummy, kiss faris 8:44 AM Jan 2nd

• Our hospital is beautiful :) :) and it is big. And i love it.

• This place smells of sweat. And that is strange. 8:41 AM Jan 2nd

• I really need a transfer. Ab bohot ho gaya hai. 8:40 AM Jan 2nd

I carry a little world inside my bag. 8:39 AM Jan 2nd

• I am amazed by people who bring such small bags. My bags are always heavy heavy heavy. :( 8:39 AM Jan 2nd

• Having second cup of coffee. 8:37 AM Jan 2nd

• Last day of gynaec regular posting. Missed morning class. 8:37 AM Jan 2nd

• Assalam alaykum 8:36 AM Jan 2nd

• Mummy. Spoke for eight thousand hours 9:39 PM Jan 1st

• So its been a busy day. And hope i have a busy night. I dont want to sleep early again. 6:45 PM Jan 1st

• I am not buying that book. 3:51 PM Jan 1st

• I am hungry. 11:36 AM Jan 1st

And one of the stones in my watch is gone. . And i has a sad. 9:34 AM Jan 1st

• Assalam alaykum 6:37 AM Jan 1st

Wish you all the very best :) 7:13 AM Dec 31st, 2009

• I do not understand, why cant people understand. . . 7:51 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• People are not taking it seriously, why? Cant i be in love? Whats so unnatural in that? 7:39 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• :( aisa nai hona chahiye tha :( but khair. . . Maybe for some good . . Cant see the good though. :( 7:02 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• this is so sad//////////////////////bad bad sad sad... 5:36 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• ok.. done ;) 5:21 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• i have t delete it from orkut... jaldi.... jaldeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 5:16 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• and twitter isnt feeding into fb... agn 5:11 PM Dec 30th, 2009

Living and loving take up a lot of time. Sorry, i dont have time to study. 4:54 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• Blunder :( :( :( oh God, please save my skin. :( 3:34 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• Back to airtel's coverage area :) 3:33 PM Dec 30th, 2009

Network :) windows are the best gift of God :) 12:22 PM Dec 30th, 2009

• I am entering 'no network' zone. Airtel bhaiya, kuchh lete kyu nahi? 8:07 AM Dec 30th, 2009

• Assalam alaykum 8:06 AM Dec 30th, 2009

• and have changed it to almas_jalpari :P luks easier :P 1:03 AM Dec 30th, 2009

• and i am only a few tweets short of hitting a 1000 :D 1:02 AM Dec 30th, 2009

• coz i cant live widout this pic :) 1:01 AM Dec 30th, 2009

Allah hafiz

Quotes .... coz' i luv 'em~~

I love 'quotes' :P As if u didnt already know that :P

Good day gives you joy while bad day gives you experience. Don't regret!

Fairy tales are REAL. Not because they tell us dragons exist. But that they CAN be defeated. -N/A

It takes a lot of courage to forgive someone but it takes an even bigger courage to ask for forgiveness!

Some things have to be believed to be seen - Ralph Hodgson

Take complete control of your life everyone. Always remember... "what you put up with, you end up with."

Unlike CHESS... In life, the game continues after checkmate! -Isaac Asimov

Everyone (in life) is gonna hurt us. We just have to figure out which people are worth the pain. -Erica Baican

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive. -Josephine Hart

In one of my earlier movies during a death scene d director said," Arre bhai, death scene hai, thodi jaan dalo."Have't discovered ..HOW? :)---Anupam Kher

Say thanks to those who hate you - basically, they want you to be a stronger person more then their self!

Love never fails. -1 Corinthians 13:8

When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object. -Milan Kundera

Go on, close your ears, turn your back and walk away from me. Otherwise you might actually learn something. -Mikk Mändmets

If today looks like yesterday, something is wrong with you.- P.Coelho

to live is to love. Everything else is just details.- P.Coelho

If being antisemetic means I recognize the genocide of Palestinians. Yes, I'm guilty (DissidentMuse on Twitter)

Be careful. You can hurt with your words, but you can also hurt with your silence.
(from Paulo Coelho's Blog- Quote of the week)

God only makes happy endings. If it's not happy, then it's not the end!

Just because something good ends doesn't mean something better won't begin

Never have false hope for granted wishes, but always have true faith in answered prayers

The Secret of Happiness lies in looking at all the wonders of the world and never forgetting the two drops of oil in the spoon.” -P.Coelho

Happy girls are the prettiest! - Audrey Hepburn

Change is hard; you fight to hold on.. yet you fight to let go. - N/A

If you get a chance, take it... if it changes your life, let it! - N/A

Time is the longest distance between two places. - Tennessee Williams

Actually your heart never breaks, it goes through a process of getting stronger. Give your heart a chance to 'change' - N/A

Maybe God wanted us to meet a few wrong ppl, so that when we met the right one, we would know what a gift is.Time will tell - N/A

You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end. -N/A

Why do you expect true love from others? Why don't you give true love to them?

Thoughts shud never be wasted. . . Never. . -AKShamim

I can switch from happy mode to sad mode in a zillionth of a second. -AKShamim

RISK is risky, but it’s worth it! you end up succeeding ..or else…. At least you have learned something new!--AKShamim

you mite have a set goal and try to achieve it.. yet, u may never reach it
And sometimes, wandering aimlessly, you may stumble upon a piece of stone and wen u look, hey!!!!You’ve struck gold!--AKShamim

Because they know the name of what I am looking for, they think they know what I am looking for! - anon

Allah hafiz

Brida ~Quoted~ #4


‘And yet no one life is the same as any other life. It might be that we will never meet again, and I need you to know that I’ve loved you all my life. I loved you even before I met you. You’re part of me.

He hadn’t told her this because he was certain that she knew everything anyway and forgave him because he was her great love, and a great love is above the things of this world.

She knew that no one else would listen to her with the same respect because people were afraid of discovering that life was magical. They were used to their houses, their jobs, their expectations, and if someone turned up saying that it was possible to travel in time, that it was possible to see castles adrift in the Universe, tarot cards that told stories,men who walked through the dark night, people who had never experienced such things would feel that life had cheated them. Life, as far as they were concerned, was the same everyday, every night, every weekend.

yo! And I believe in magic….. more than you can imagine. And by magic I don’t just mean the magic that is mentioned in Brida… I am talking bout life as a whole coz’ life, in itself, is magic. And since I believe in the magic hidden in every moment, I don’t get along with majority of the ppl around me. :) and … am I glad that I don’t!

That’s why Brida needed to seize the chance. If words were God, then let it be recorded on the air around her that she had traveled back in time and that she remembered every detail as if it were now, as if it were the wood where they were right now. And so, when, later on, someone managed to prove to her that none of this had happened, when time and space made her doubt it all, when she herself was convinced that it had been mere illusion, the words spoken that evening, there in the wood, would still be vibrating in the air and at least one person, someone for whom magic was part of life, would know that it had really happened.

And now you know why I love bloggin so much. It’s like I am saving each moment of my life, each little word. So that tomorrow wen I mite be able to convince myself that yes gal!!! dis had happened!!! :) and yes! God is in the word!! :)

‘I just want to say one thing to you,’ she said. ‘Don’t bother trying to explain your emotions. Live everything as intensely as you can and keep whatever you felt as a gift from God. If you think that you wont be able to stand a world in which living is more important than understanding, then give up magic now. The best way to destroy the bridge between the visible and the invisible is by trying to explain your emotions.’

and if you equate magic with life, coz life IS undoubtedly magical, you’d know why it’s more important to LIVE life than try to UNDERSTAND it.

Emotions were like wild horses, and Brida knew that reason could never entirely master them. Once, when a boyfriend left her, giving no explanation, she had stayed at home for months, going over and over his many defects and the thousand and one things that had been wrong with their relationship. Yet she woke up every morning thinking about him and knowing that if he phoned her, she would probably agree to meet.

to be continued inshaAllah...

Allah hafiz

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Love~~ My Obsession

I am losing it completely. I cant tell in words how ugly I feel nowadays. The worst is that the reason doesn’t seem to be one that mite change.

Of course, I do believe in God, and I do believe in miracles.

I have always told that I am very tuf on myself.
I, apparently, ENJOYYYY screwing myself.
I have these set beliefs and I can kill myself to go on following them. To some extent it is good, keeps me on the line I believe in, but, beyond that it gets harsh on oneself.

I remember a time when I used to write bout Alleppey, Kerala, Muslims, India and many more light things…. Here I am .. writing bout nothing but Love. It almost appears to be a “Love Blog”. But, I cant help it. like my tagline says, “What’s on my mind.. is at my fingertips.”, I do not believe in making things up. I will go on writing bout love for as long as it remains in my mind.
Even if that means making blogposts that get Oh-So-Repetitive.
A few days back I had a hideous fight wid Anisa. And 2-3 days later, S told me (I don’t remember wat had I told that made her say this but well… I just remember wat she told me..), she told me, that “We all know that you are obsessed with love, but that doesn’t mean…..”
That’s all I remember.. I don’t even remember how she completed her sentence…. But newaz… that’s not important.
The important thing here is that S CANNOT possibly know that I, Almas, am obsessed with love. There is only one way in which she can know….
Maybe Anisa had spoken bout me to her .. bout my fight wid her over ‘Love’ ….
Maybe I appear mad to these people….. maybe
I don’t give a fuck.
For even if I am obsessed with love.. at least, I am obsessed over something good.

So well….

Love.. I am goin crazy over this word….
Today…. In the past 6 hours I have spoken to 3 different people about 3 different kinds of love…. With equal passion.
Love between lovers.
Love between friends.
Love between a mom and a kid.

Seriously, if I was on the receiving end of such a person, I wud have shot her/him dead long ago.
Thankfully, I don’t have many people in my life.
Thankfully, I don’t go bout crying to everyone.
Thankfully, the few people in front of whom I do cry .. love me so much that they wont say an ‘ufff’.
Otherwise, I wudnt hav been alive to be typing this (which is again bout ‘love’) .. I wud hav been shot dead long ago.

I have 2 people on my mind. if u have read my previous blog posts u know who they are.
Mr. Azhar and Mr. I.
I go on evaluating and re-evaluating things……..
I go on thinking how badly my life has been screwed.
I go on thinking that yes! I did the right thing.
I go on thinking, that doing the right thing has earned me only pain.
I go on thinking that in the long run it pays to do the right…
I go on thinking and go on thinking and finally go mad…

I burst into tears all by myself….

I cry myself to sleep…
I don’t know wats going wrong….
I am just so terribly disturbed….
I am not able to do anything
I aint able to study a word.
I am in my final year final sem…. If I lose it now, I have lost it big time….

There’s this boy whuz got me crazy…..
And theres this boy for whose happiness I cud have died…..
I keep asking God why he did this.
Why did he make me love one boy so much that I bloody screwed my own life for him?
Why did I carry on something that he didn’t want to be?
Why am I again bumping my head up against a wal that wont budge?
Why am I even NOW, finding it so difficult to count the wrong that was done to me?

Trust me, it’s almost suffocating to think of all ways in which I have been ‘wronged’. This blog is full of posts in which I have written how much Azhar loves me. I have ‘counted my blessings’ so much that even the blessings got bored and decided to fly off.
I wonder why.. what made me pull it for so long.
Why did I do it?
Why did I put in such a lot of effort?

Why is this happening to me?

I am so terribly lost.
It feels like I have been robbed of my life savings.
Only that I also know that it’s not the case.
I feel like I made an investment, such a bloody huge investment.
And then I just let it go coz I wasn’t gaining profits….
I mean… shudn I have tugged it along….. maybe no profits.. but at least I wasn’t suffering from losses. Besides, I felt secure enuf to have my life time investment rite by my side.
But then I feel ki
Wat else wud make me different from others….

Wat else?

If I too do just that which other gals do, am I in any way different ?
There are gals for whom love is ‘true’ or ‘false’ depending on the guy’s ‘marriageable-ity’. They use their ‘minds’… to judge if they can marry him or not… and then they call it a ‘love’ marriage.

There are gals who have a crush on their boyfriend’s friend, and many others… they change their timetables to spend time wid dese ‘crushes’ and they don’t ever tell it to their boyfriends…. And guess wat? These gals will be married by November this year. Maybe by next year November they will have a baby.

I loved a boy, I screwd my life to keep this boy happy, then that boy dsnt giv a fuck bout my happiness, he gets busy keeping himself happy and all this screws my life further, then I fall in luv wid anoder boy and this love screws me like I cant tell you, den dat first boy and especially his beloved friends get a gr8 reason to screw my life all the more by goin on and on bout how I cheated on him (the 1st boy) coz of the 2nd boy. In this everyone seems to forget that the ‘screwing’ has been mine… all the way…
So wat am I left wid? A blame… dats it! had my relation wid the 1st boy broken widout the entry of this 2nd boy, ppl wud have been so sympathetic towards me… awwwww!!!! Azhar didn’t understand u .. blah blah!!!! He shud hav been more caring!!! Blah blah!!
And now. Coz I didn’t becum a Krishna ki Meerabai in his pyaar, lo! I am such a bad gal.
Know wat ppl????
Go fuck urselves!

I am sad enuf on my own.
I have enuf questions to ask Allah myself than u ppl burdening me wid some more….

Maybe God kept me wid Azhar for so long ,,,,, coz he didn’t want me to be associated wid boys. And Azhar did a ‘gr8’ job in keeping me away from boys. Yes, I am lonely. I don’t have friends. I didn’t enjoy my college life.
But, in ways, I am happy coz I haven’t been as ‘loose’ as other gals.
Wen I had joined college, I was 17, and I was lonely… a lot cud have happened to me at that time. Maybe God kept Azhar as a check to my ‘activities’. Today wen Alhamdulillah, I am wiser than yesterday, God has taken him away coz today I have programmed myself to avoid boys and to avoid gals who ‘chipko’ to boys.
Maybe that alone was Azhar’s purpose in my life.
To stop me from ‘losing name’.
Maybe Haasil is in my life only to help me forget Azhar. Coz forgetting Azhar was so important.
Maybe wen the time comes for forgetting Haasil, god will send someone else.
{though, I don’t want to forget Haasil ever….i wish my next step be marriage…. I really wont be able to take yet another ‘love’}
And yes, I am pacifying myself.
Maybe, Azhar was in my life only to screw it and not as a blessing. Or maybe Haasil was sent only to screw up my relation wid Azhar, yes.. we were spiraling down.. but being the ‘ETERNAL LOVER’ .. I wud have counted my blessing like a fool again.. and continued loving Azhar while he went on saying, “Woh toh meri achhi dost hai Almas”.
But you see, thinking in these lines does me no good.
I need to live…coz life remains.
When it ends, it will end, but as of now, it remains.. and I have to move on.

So, well.
I love you my darling, firstly, coz you loved a boy wid so much ‘love’.
I love you for doing all that you did for him. I know you gave it ur best.
I love you for not losing ur dignity…..for not letting ur parents down in front of him… see? At the end, he doesn’t need u.
I love you also, for carrying it on for this long, even though he went on telling that ‘break up’ is the only solution.
I love you for getting mad at him for allowing those ‘good friends’ into his life. coz’ even God promises you Heaven only if you worship him. No love is unconditional.
I love you for giving him a chance to amend.
I love you for having the courage to set him free, rather to set urself free, even when you didn’t have a ‘second boyfriend’ waiting for you with open arms, like most other gals do.
I love you for being strong enuf to face ‘singlehood’ again after 8 yrs of being ‘committed’.
I love you for allowing yourself to fall in love again. You keep life moving.
I love you for being truthful about this new person to everyone…EVERYONE. Coz anything that starts on a lie doesn’t flourish.
I love you all the more for loving someone so mmmmmm ‘exotic’. You are loving with your heart, not with your mind.
I love you for loving him in the present, and not being scared off coz there’s ‘no future’.
I love you for missing your ex, coz otherwise it wud mean that you are such a bloody unattached person.
I love you for crying, going crazy, getting angry coz it means you are hurt and that u r putting up wid it.
I love you for still believing, still hoping coz you see baby, this itself proclaims that Allah has power over all things.
I love you for the way ur love to this new person is so selfless coz it shows that u don’t mind being hurt again, it shows that u have faith in Destiny.
I love you for saying that you ‘are in love’ wid this boy to whom you have hardly spoken and bout whom you know NOTHING….. people have this tendency to label evry relation they don’t succeed in as ‘CRUSH’ and every relation that culminates in marriage as ‘TRUE LOVE’.
I love you for being in a place and time where you are so blooooodddyy fucking lonely and yet goin thru all this… trust me 99% of gals wud have held on to that old relation just coz they needed SOMEONE….ANYONE .. to be able to talk to.
I love you for spilling ur heart out here in ur blog…..and keeping a smiling face up all day, it shows ur willingness to live.

And I love you baby for ever having loved…….and for having loved thrice…. And for being able to say it….coz people tend to hide their previous affairs in order to avoid chasing away a future prospect of a relation.

I love you for your First Love, in kindergarten, with an actor.
I love you for your Second Love, in school, with a senior.
I love you for your Third Love, in college, with a junior.

I love you gal….. for being obsessed over ‘Love’.

P.S- my Facebook Suggestive Fortune Cookie for today- “Love yourself as often as possible” :D :D :D
P.S2- next Cookie, “Show your true self to others” :D :D

Allah hafiz.

Now reading ... "The Witch of Portobello" by 'Paulo Coelho'.



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