Tuesday, 27 April 2010


And she sits by the dinner.
She looks at the clock
It’s ten.
He isn’t home yet.

She thought of the many times she had refused to eat
As a little girl, she had been hard to please
And her mummy prepared her favourite dish
And her daddy ran behind her
But, she wouldn’t eat.

She wants to repay things now.
She wants to hold the spoon for those shaking fingers
She wants to pamper those grown up kids.
She wants to say she treasures
Each of those moments
When she was made to feel
Like an angel from the heavens.
In a castle of love.

And yes she does hold the spoon
For shaking fingers too….
But these were not the fingers she had held
As she had learnt to walk.
She has to pamper kids-
Both young and old.
But they had never as much as
Blinked at her pain.

She is not an angel here.
Coz this is not her castle.
Here she lives all her dreams
For people who don’t love her.
And the people who did
Are left far behind.

And time doesn’t run backwards.
She knows it as well as you do.
So she sits by the dinner.
She looks at the clock
It’s ten.
And he isn’t home yet.


The Elusive.

I look into the emptiness
I see a hundred things
Carved into the thin air are all my vivid dreams.
And I can see a face.
With my fingers I trace its contours.
It’s set in white marble,
It’s hard,
It’s shining with glaze.
And with my touch it seems to disappear
Like smoke emanating from a chimney
High up in the air.
And it makes me wonder
Where did I go wrong?
Was my touch harsh?
Did I repel it?
Or is it because dreams shouldn’t be carved into thin air?
Or maybe,
The answer is simple.
No fault lies in me.
It was elusive.
The face set in white marble,
Shining with glaze.


Thursday, 22 April 2010

The Warriors of Love.

This whole world is a big love maze with one person in love with another and that ‘another’ in love with yet another….
And in this big maze…. Sometimes…..SOMETIMES… we stumble upon people whom we like and who like us as well………
We might be two little pieces of the maze who fit each other exactly…
We cud have hugged on snugly thru this whole life…
And still, life pulls us apart…and thrusts us into paths that may never meet….
Forcing us to keep searching for another piece of the maze which might fit us well…if not exactly well… at least enuf to keep us going…
And then….. wen we have left our perfect pieces behind..we say that it was never meant to be…………
I wonder if anything is ever meant to be……
The greatest of ‘loves’ can crash coz of little differences… differences that cant be neglected, however little they mite be.
At the end, the relations that are formed are the ones which were most convenient…. Which were most ‘possible’.
‘love’ doesnt always have to be the backbone of a relation…
I’m sorry…..used the wrong word.
‘love’ DEFINITELY has to be the backbone of every relation, yet, unfortunately, ISNT always.

We marry people who are best suited to us…. Someone who can earn enuf for us, who is educated enuf and the blah blahs…..
And a lot of people even tend to actually ‘fall in love’ with exactly those people. They tend to fall in love with guys whom their parents wud never oppose. I wonder how they manage to do that…. But, well.. we can leave that for the moment.

For the moment we can think of those very lucky (and wen I say ‘very lucky’, I mean REALLY VERY LUCKY) people who were blessed by life.
People who found their matching pieces in the maze of love and somehow escaped the evil eyes of the witch-ish side of life………..
people who loved and were loved back by them and who remained together forever and a day.
people who either had it very easy…..
or people who had it difficult and yet were ready to fite for their love….

But, the real people who we shud think bout are the ones who fought and lost……..
People who risked and were defeated…….
People who loved and weren’t scared to love…..
People who fought the world for the ones they loved ….
And still…….were crushed under the trampling feet of the world…..

For them I have no words of solace.
I can only say that I respect you for ever having fought.
For not backing away.
Maybe life really is cruel.

Aren’t you better than the ones who never tried?
People who loved………. and were loved back… and then just let their love be turned to ash……..?
Aren’t you better than them?

It hurts to love and then see the love crash under the weight of the worldly burdens.
It also hurts to love and not to be loved back.

So, if you love someone. And if he or she loves you too………..dont let this love die coz of the world. Don’t let anything pull you away from it.
All differences can be settled…… if only there is love…
But if there is no love…. Not even the smoothest of lives has any meaning.
If you two love each other, fight for it.
Who knows? You might just win………….
And even if you don’t win……… coz life doesn’t always give us wat we want…….. so, even if u don’t win…….. you’d at least be a warrior… a warrior for one of the most treasured things in the world.

Allah hafiz.

Dearest Allah

Dearest Allah
Make me the happiest person in the world.
Mummy always tells ki ‘hamesha apne se upar ke log ko mat dekho, apne se neeche ke log ko bhi dekho’ .
Allah paak…. Give me the ability to do that.
Help me realize that there are millions of people in the world who wud trade their lives with mine any day.
Of course, make this world a better place and all that and all that, lekin Allah paak I live in a very small bubble. I wud be very happy if suddenly this whole world turned into a Heaven. Do it, if you don’t really mind. But, even if you are not willing to do that, there are certain things I beg you for.
I want you to make my little bubble very very happy.
I am lucky to have people to love Maalik. So many… sooooooooo many are orphans….so many have parents who don’t love them… there are fathers who sell their daughters for money, mothers who sacrifice their children to please some ‘gods’ if u get wat I mean. You have blessed me with the best. But, I am human and so obviously I ask for more. I ask you Allah paak to keep these people whom I love very happy.
You may give me all other things I want. You may teach me how to cook, to talk in Malayalam like a Malayalam pundit; you may give me the car I want and all the money in the world, but, Allah paak if my jaans are sad for even the slightest of reason, all the riches of the world wud be non-existent. So, give them happiness Allah paak. I love them. Let no harm befall them.
There are ppl who love me, probably they do. And I don’t really love them, probably I don’t. Bless them too Maalik. Give them happiness. If I cant give them love, may they get people who wud. I don’t want anyone to be sad.
Sadness is so bad.
And those whom I love, give them all they want if its right in your view. If they have a dream, make it come true. And if the dream that they have is meant to upset me, please take care of me… but give them wat they want, if you think it’s right.
Every person I love shud be happy Allah paak.
Fulfil my dreams too………….
And please make us ask for that which you have already decided wud be best for us. Then, aapka and humara wishes wont clash. And everythin wud be fine.
And if any of my loved ones and I are praying for clashing things, Allah paak, grant him who is asking for the better thing, in your view. And then reconcile the other person. You live in our hearts. Strengthen your home. And yes, I am ready to be the one to be reconciled. I only want everyone to be happy. Khudaya plz. Kisiko dukhi mat karo.
I know I’m askin for a ‘fairytale’ kind of thing.
I also know that it is very much in your power to make my life a fairy tale.
Being very truthful, I believe it IS a fairy tale.
I am the fairy.
I ask you Allah paak ki make everyone I love a fairy…… so that they may never hurt.
And help us to trust in you.
And be with us as you have been. Don’t let us err. If we do, correct us.
Do not forsake us Allah Paak.
Be with me…. be with us.

What a mess!!

It’s easy to say that we shudn hurt the people who love us, it’s very hard ACTUALLY not to hurt them. For, aren’t we hurting them by not loving them back? Aren’t we hurting them by telling them that we love someone else? Aren’t we hurting them by not feeling for them all that they are feeling for us?
If you loved someone, wudn you want him to love you too? So, if this person loves you, wudn he wish that you too were in love with him?
It’s told- “Marry the person who loves you and not the person who you love.”
Well said.
Now tell me what am I to do if there is a whole big bunch of people who love (or at least claim to) love me? am I to marry each one of them???
The only person I shudn marry being the one I myself love?

Why cant this ‘bunch’ apply the same rule and go and marry the gals who are in love with them? Why are they allowed to pursue me? and why am I not allowed to pursue the one I love?
Do ‘sayings’ hold true for half the population of the world and not the rest?
And even if that be the case…. Does it always have to be ‘ME’ in the benevolent, merciful half?
Why shud all the rules be for me?
Why shud I be the saint?
So, I’ll tell you one thing.

If there’s a love triangle…..
You love me.
I love someone else.
And that someone else loves yet another ‘someone else’.

(I don’t really think this shape is a triangle.. but.. then.. whatever….)
We shall apply the rule of “Marry the person who loves you and not the person who you love” to two of us.

And the person whom I love.

Pretty cool rite?
The rules are still being obeyed……… and I ain’t being martyred. .
Allah hafiz.

Bloggers Quoted ~I Wrote This For You~

Coming back to this series after a very long time.... This is a blog i hit across at Twitter... most of the stuff dat i liked here have been written in the previous post "Selected Words.." Here's one which definitely deserved an entire post to itself....
The blog's name is "I Wrote This For You" and this post is titled "The Ronin Have Names".

You say the reason things fall to the ground is because of gravity.

I say that gravity is a word, a name you gave to a small aspect of the magic that surrounds you on a daily basis.

Electricity is another name for magic. Wind is another name for magic. Water is another name for magic. Love is another name for magic.

We all live in a magical place.

Allah hafiz

Selected words....

Some exceptionally beautiful quotes...

*Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away. -Adabella Radici

*"Looks fade but dumb is forever" ~@pattistanger

*The mind sees separateness, LOVE sees unity: Sai Baba

*Go on a trip with an empty suitcase so u have room for the good stuff u find along the way. Leave ur baggage at home! #TDL

*Planet must be saying,"Save yourself idiots, I will be fine" ~Impishsmirk

*Just because 2 lips join doesnt mean 2 hearts meet. ~ihquotes

*Dont let a third person ruin your love for someone.~ AKShamim

*Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire

*Faith is a sounder guide than reason. Reason can go only so far, but faith has no limits: Blaise Pascal

*Is it possible to miss someone you never had as yours? Well then. . . . I miss you.~AKShamim

*I've no words to make u feel better. But I've arms to hug u, ears to listen to u, &;heart thats aching to see ur smile. –tiffanywilliam

*"After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box." (((~Italian Proverb)))But then, its better to b a king in the game than being his pawn…~Ben Chithan

*You hate me more than i deserve, why are you so cruel? And i love you more than you deserve, why am i such a fool? ~Faiz Asif

*I love you like a girl loves her teddy bear- sweet, sincere and honest. ~tiffanywilliam

*Worst thing you can do for love is deny it. So, when you find that special someone, dont let anyone or anything get in your way. ~ unknown

*Every blessing, when ignored, becomes a curse. ~ Paulo Coelho
*'Almas dear, you're inspired and you're desired - it's wonderful! Your dream has come true. Now you can live that dream.'' ~from Amora’s predictions….

*I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ~ W.C.Fields

*Act like a lady, think like a man, so you don't get played like a bitch! #ihatequotes

*Your love is a symphony. All around me, running through me.~ Tiffanywilliam

*Maybe it's right that some words are just better left unspoken. ~tiffanywilliam

*Dont cry for a man who's left you. The next one may fall for your smile. - Mae West.

*Coz ultimately, nothing matters. . . . But, once we keep the ultimate aside, everything matters. . . .~AKShamim

*Every bed without you in it, is broken.~Iwrotethisforyou(blog)

*Congratulations. You took me down. And now, you have made everything that is sad, relevant.~ Iwrotethisforyou(blog)

*Even the strongest women have the right to feel weak. ~ihatequotes

*never regret something that once made you smile :-) -(TWQ)

*I don't know who you're kissing now. But I do know who you think about when you do.~ Iwrotethisforyou (blog)

*I know you're not here, I can see it in your eyes when we talk. Where ever you are, come back soon. ~Iwrotethisforyou (blog)

*"There is a crack in everything...that's how the light gets in." ~ Leornard Cohen

*"To accomplish great things we must not only act but also dream not only plan but also believe" ~ Anatole France

*I just need you to be able to tell people I was here, I felt, I lived and I loved as much as I could, while I could. And that the person that I loved, was you.~Iwrotethisforyou (blog)
*t's hard to be real with a world full of fakes. #ihatequotes

*I love you, you know that. You love me, is what I choose to believe. #ihatequotes

*Q: When is the right time to tell someone you love them? A: Before someone else does. #ihatequotes

*Never let anyone fall for u when u know there's someone else u have in ur heart and mind. (n/a) #ihatequotes

*I pretend to look around, but I was actually looking at you. (a tweet for you) #ihatequotes

*Scare the world: Be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth. ~Iwrotethisforyou (blog)

*The words "I love you" become nothing but noise. But that's why we kiss. To say with our lips what we couldn't before. ~Iwrotethisforyou(blog)

*"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." ~ Mae West

*The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases: Carl Jung

*"Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere." ~ Albert Einstein

*One of the great cosmic laws, is that whatever we hold in our thought will come true in our experience: Richard Bach

*How were u once so close, &; now yall dont even speak? (sumtimes its best 2 leave these questions in Gods hands)~RevrunWisdom

*Here's to you. Because I've never met anyone who makes a better you, than you.~Iwrotethisforyou

*If you could spend a moment in my mind &; a second in my heart, you'd never doubt my love for you.~tiffanywilliam

*Don't talk to me like you know me. Talk to me like you love me.~Iwrotethisforyou(blog)

*He has the smile I fell in love with and the arms I want to be held in forever. (a tweet for you) #ihatequotes

*When I say bye, I wish you would make me stay a little longer.~tiffanywilliam

Allah hafiz

Monday, 19 April 2010

Magic is going on....

As the clock ticks by, our life is passing away.. moment by moment…..
And each of these moments…. Oh! So special!
:) :) :)
During my Paeds posting, I had seen a little boy wearing a pretty red shirt with these words written at the back- “Magic is going on….”

Kasam se…. such a beautiful thot. :)
Coz isn’t life a magic? The whole of it?
If we only take a little moment aside to think of how each thing in life leads on to the next, we’d realize that truly a ‘magic’ is goin on….
A magic beyond the understanding of our little mortal minds.
How imperative it is for this instant to happen in the way it is happening to enable the next instant from happening the way it shud.
Just like it was imperative for the instants gone by to have happened the way they did, as otherwise, we mite not be where we are today.
Every tiny thing that has happened in our life has its place in that big sum set by the Ruler. And each of those tiny things have a meaning beyond our imagination.
One moment leads on to another……
And at the end, everything falls into place….. if only you believe.
And that is precisely why we shud never regret over anything.
As humans, we tend to get upset over things that happen to us, or our own actions. It’s only natural- a part of being human I’d say. Yet, if you think bout it, you’d realize how often these little ‘regretful’ (mis)haps are the ones that shape a better future for us.

[[Of course, the word ‘better’ is very subjective coz among us are people who are the epitomes of self-pity. They have an outlook so pathetic that even if the Archangels come down from the Heavens and gift them with robes of satin, they’d whine over robes being out of fashion.
For others…. For the near-normal, normal to near-me sort of people, the future is always ‘better’.
As for me, well… I cant expect anyone to be like me.. that wud be demanding too much! So, forget it!]]

My brother-in-law is an advocate….mmmm…pretty successful, Alhamdulillah. He wasn’t good in studies, and though I don’t remember his marks in Maths, I do know that it was low… really low*. But, the thing is that, had he been good at maths.. had he got better marks… he’d have been an engineer today and probably not really ‘successful’. It was essential for him to have scored low, it was essential for him to have missed out on all the ‘medicine’ and ‘engineering’ STATUS.. to reach where he has reached today….
We, with our queer human vision cannot see clearly… but God sees all…. And God is very much in His senses.. He knows where He is leading us.

So goes for everything in our lives…..
Every little failure, every little fall is actually a blessing in disguise…. If only you believe.
For haven’t you heard of people meeting with accidents…. Having their lives turned upside down.. only to be admitted in a hospital where they were to meet the love of their life, their Soulmate…. The person who wud make all the pain seem worth it?

I find myself thinking many times bout how much easier my life wud hav been had I opted for any other place for my mbbs. Most of the people who have come to Alpy from A&N are either Malayalis or had no other options left.
I am the one gr8 person who isn’t Malayali and had beautiful places in the list where I cud spend the most beautiful period of my life…. I had KGMC, Lucknow which is a rank holding college in India. And not to forget Jodhpur, Rajasthan…………which is a state I am totally full of awe for….and of course Burdwan, which is very close to Calcutta (my mummy’s home is in Calcutta---imagine…I wud hav gone home on Sundays just like these gals go home now !!! ohhhhhh!!!) the other places too were good ones, though they weren’t any special.. fir bhi.. at least I’d have had my own language and my own food!
But me, the Almas the Shamim…. I was hell bent on coming to Kerala :p
I had shut my eyes and ears to all advice coming from all sources with my heart and mind centered on Kerala….wow!!
Destiny calls….
Here I am!! :)
And I am thankful to God for everything…… this place has taught me a lot…. I keep writing bout ‘all that Alpy has made me’ ..so……. well…
Prolly, that’s why I had marks low enuf to throw me off Tamil Nadu coz then I wud have chosen TN… and even within Kerala, my marks cudn fetch me Calicut or Thrissur which were both placed higher in my own list of choices… I guess, I just had to be in Alpy….
Yo! Destiny calls… and it calls loud and clear……
Maybe after many years…. I’d turn back and luk at my life and thank Allah Paak for bringing me to this place……
I only need to wait…….coz’ Yes! I do believe. :)

And here, I’d just mention 3 other things.
1. Long ago there was a music video---“LAKEEREIN” by Penaz… remember? It first shows a short scene from a gal’s life…..she misses a boat.. and how things turn out.. and then it shows the scene that “CUD” have hapnd had she not missed the boat…..the opening line was “Lakeerein.. agar bol paati… toh bata jaati.. taqdeerein…” and I don’t have the time or patience to search the video and attach it. thank you.

2. In the movie ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ there’s a beautiful scene which shows how the heroine wudn have met with the accident had some person not been late for work….. it has been shown in a chain of events…. It’s an exotically beautiful scene….
3. Today’s update by Paulo Coelho says “Important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other” :) :) :) :)

After all that I wrote, if I still need to explain the above sentence….. you were not reading darling!

Toh khair….. go and live the moment…….. live it to the fullest… and don’t have regrets…
Coz this is the moment when…
“Magic is going on……”

P.S.1- (referring to the “*”) no offence intended… I, myself scored badly in 12th :p I had decent marks in Eng-95/100 and Bio-93/100……. Phy-70/100 and Chemistry-82/100 were like mmmmmmmmmmmm… and Maths….. that was…well….39/100. So, am not really criticizing anyone. :D
P.S.2- I feel I have writen something bout my mbbs options earlier as well….. if you’d read that and are reading this too… no problem…. You are just pushing some more general knowledge bout Almas from short-term-memory to long-term-memory.
P.S.3- The concept of ‘destiny’ has been repeated??? :) :) it will be repeated agn and agn…. Coz this is one belief I hold on to with a passion that I cant explain in words.

Allah hafiz.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

The Gift by Danielle Steel ~~Quoted~~


• …maybe some people just arent meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through… maybe they get it all done faster than the rest of us. They don’t need to stick around a hundred years to get it all right. They get it down real quick… it’s like…’ She struggled to find the right words to tell him, but it was something she had thought about a lot, especially lately. ‘It’s like some people just come through our lives to bring us something, a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn, and that’s why they’re here. She taught you something, I’ll bet… about love, and giving, and caring so much about someone… that was her gift to you. She taught you all that, and then she left. Maybe she just didn’t need to stay longer than that. She gave you the gift, and then she was free to move on… she was a special soul… you’ll have that gift forever.’

• …kind of like a chain of people… she left and I came, and she asked me to keep an eye on you…and maybe after me someone else…and then….it’s like an eternal progression of people coming through our lives. I think that’s what I was trying to say the other day. Nothing is forever, but there’s a continuing stream of people who go through our lives and continue with us… nothing just stops and stays…but it flows on…like a river.

• ‘And I for you. I’ll always be your friend Tommy…I’ll always love you.’ And if they were lucky, she would be his wife one day. She wanted that too, now, at sixteen, but she was wise enough to know that one day things might be different. Or maybe not, perhaps their love would grow in time, and one day be stronger than ever. Or perhaps like leaves, life’s winds would blow them to the far corners of the Earth and scatter them forever, but she hoped not.

• …there were no guarantees in life, only promises and whispers.

Allah hafiz


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