Sunday, 18 September 2011


I do not like the idea of becoming a part of another family. Of having to have a new set of parents, a new bunch of siblings and a whole new world of friends. It scares me and makes me sad… but most of all, it makes me feel lonely.
It makes me feel like the only person standing at the top of a hill and looking down at the valley bustling with life…
Like am on a plane, on a night flight, and down there below me… the tiny little flickering lights, speaking of the people who go about their lives, having nothing to do with me.
I feel lonely thinking how my entire existence would cease to have any meaning.
The food that I eat, the clothes that I wear, the tv shows that I watch, the music that I listen to…….i’ll have to trash it all down the dust bin….

It makes me want to not exist.

That’s how I feel.


Now reading ... "Crime and Punishment" by 'Fyodor Dostoyevsky'.



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