Sunday, 11 September 2011

The First Choice

I do not know if I’ve mentioned this earlier or not. In any case, am going to write it down now.

In our family we eat lots of unhealthy stuff. We eat snacks and sweets like it is our breath and our existence is entirely and totally dependent on it. And so, most of the times you’d find lots of sweets at my home.
This incident (very insignificant, yet very significant) took place when I was a little girl- maybe around 7 or 8, and my Aapa and I were sitting across our dining table (I don’t really remember what were we doing- maybe she was studying and I was disturbing her) when mummy came and gave us a tiffin full of sweets- in all shapes, sizes and colours.

Aapa reached out and took one (I don’t remember which one) but I was taking a lot of time in choosing which one to eat.
There was a particular one which used to be my favourite. It was a ‘sandes’ (Bengali sweet) from Calcutta Sweet Stall- a small cubical piece of Heaven wrapped in Silver.
And though it was my favourite, I didn’t pick that one- probably out of pure greed!
Being the glutton that I was (and still am) I wanted to eat everything, or at least 2-3.. but, somehow, I guess, I didn’t want to eat all of it when Aapa, like a big girl, had had only one. So, I HAD to choose only one, and looking back I think that the choice should have been pretty easy (since I already had a favourite)…but, it wasn’t.

And as I always do..whenever I’ve been stuck up in situations where I’ve needed to make choices… I called for help.
I asked Aapa which one should I take.
And aapa chose one saying, “Ye khao”(eat this)..
And I asked, “Ye???” (This one???), making a bad face. Then she pointed at the next one and I again made a face.. this went on until she finally pointed at the sweet I wanted to have and I gave her my big toothy smile and glady devoured it..:D

Now, I ain’t sure if Aapa knew which one was my favourite and purposely kept it for the last or whether it happened coincidentally, but, while I was yummily chewing my favouritest sweet, both Aapa and I were laughing with known looks in our eyes…
Her eyes saying,“You finally had what you wanted to have, then why the drama?”
And my eyes saying,“Isn’t me a bad girlie??”

Has it never happened to you that in spite of knowing what you wanted, you have gone stumbling over at things, believing that you don’t know what you want?
And at the end, when you finally find it, you realize that you had known it all along… that the ‘not-knowing’ was only an illusion?

It’s like you enter a shop and right at the door, a beautiful dress on a mannequin catches your fancy and whether or not in your budget, you know that you want it…
But, for some absurd reason, you feel that you might find something better in the shop, if only you look (and I’m not saying that no one does) and so you search the whole shop, the whole mall maybe, for something that might take your heart away from where it has been captured… and at the end, you go back and buy that first dress which you had liked- knowing- with a serene bliss- that any number of dresses can’t make up for this one dress.

You know then that you didn’t want anything else..
THIS is what you’d wanted…. All through.


Shy said...

ya thats correct..though i dont exactly remember the incident narrated, coz ive troubled u a lot (yes sometimes i become so humble ). there was a dress(choc brown with lots of sequin works) which i saw in Kolkata mall (Biba showroom) i just luved it , i was with Tabraiz and i told him its so lovely but it was worth 5000/ too much... i left it and bought something else (actually i was shopping for fiza faris 2nd bday party) my mind, heart, kidney, lever everything was with the dress. we came to portblair and i was jus not happy for wat i was supposedly wearing in the party...luckily tabraiz got a chance to go to kolkata just before the bday and there goes ......i told him to get that...he got it for me the same one ...(yep it was there...may be others found it too boring that nobody took it) i wore it with a BIG HAPPY in the bday party....YUPP SISTER IT HAPPENS :)

JaLpArI - tHe MeRmAiD said...

:) you must be crazy to not have bought it.... we should never leave out clothes in the mainland.. given that the collection back home is so small.....:P
just like me.. i am planning to buy the whole of kerala :P

and you know...

:* I loves it when you calls me sister :) *somersaults*


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