Friday, 25 November 2011

On Internet Speed and Breast Lump....




Am a bit confused. A bit happy. A bit sad. But then, it’s all right. Coz’ it’s always alright. Am full of things to write in my blog (as always) and am just lazy to do it (as always).
I am goin thru bad times as far as internet is concerned….
The net speed in Andamans is just too slow. And it takes a really long time for the pages to load. Almost as long as some Hindi serials run…
If it wasn’t enough for me to be struggling to load every page on my lap… the most benevolent google disabled my account…. I cried, sulked but then thot ‘Wat the eff’ and decided to create another blog. The next day google (oh yeah!!! Most benevolent, after all) returned me my account… but as happens with me, I wasn’t to get my blog the easy way…..
After the little ‘adventure’ wid google… I was automatically logged off my account on the lap… and for some strange reason, the log in page of blogger adamantly refused to load (on my lap)… and so, I could STILL not use blogger….:( Allah knows best how many times I tried to log in …
Khair.. ek kisi shubh ghadi mein I did log in…. but coz of the fantastic speed here… am seriously missing out on some lovely blogs….
That is sad…. It is sadder wen u read the blogs but cant comment … I mean … on the whole.. it’s quite a mess…. But khair… am at peace….
Coz… I don’t really know…
Maybe coz am bak to the Islands… “MY ISLANDS” :) or maybe … I don’t knw…
But am happy Alhamdulillah!!! And that is all that matters :)

I also want to tell (to whoever cares to know) about that Breast lump that I had (knock.. knock.. remember????)
Well…. Toh that lump remained in place while I tried to catch my female surgeons to have a look at it….finally I did manage to see a ma’am… and she told me that it is probably a Fibroadenoma…. And it is better if I get it removed (by surgery of course), but if I was totally against surgery I could wait and do a self breast examination every month to see if it increases in size and accordingly opt for treatment measures….
That was precisely wat I didn’t want to hear….. :( so…. I decided not to take a chance and see my Sir….(oh yeah I didn’t want to see a male doc.. but well…..)
And sadly he too told that I needed surgery :(
I was soooo upset…. But then Alhamdulillah alaa kulli haal!! Isn’t it? :)……
Newaz… we decided that we’d get it done in the Trauma theatre, either eaaarrrllllyyyy in the morning or laaaattteeee at night….. and while sir didn’t really tell me to get an FNAC done (I had already decided that I’d do an FNAC (and btw, FNAC is Fine Needle Aspiration Cytology)), he did ask me to let him know the FNAC results and see him again before we finally fix the surgery date….
Now, I was super pissed out coz I really didn’t want to take leave coz I really really really wanted to come home soon and not get any more extensions but it wud be next to impossible to avoid a leave after a procedure on my breast… I mean … just the manual examination and the FNAC caused me enuf pain..
Besides, I was posted in Triage…. That’s a hectic posting….
And I would be alone for this procedure… AGAIN…. I had undergone a Melanocyte Transplantation (not really successful… but Alhamdulillah!) for my vitiligo in February… and I was alone then too… and I would be alone now.. and I hated it… but whatever huh!!
Above everything else was the fact that the shape of my breast would be altered….
The lump in my breast was a big one and if the whole of it had to be removed, my breast would need to be devastated….
Aapa was also pretty worried and she wanted me to wait and get it done later at some better hospital….
Now this is one lovely way of getting me mad…..”better hospital”.
I LOVE Govt. T.D. Medical College, Alleppey.
Huh!!!
Whatever…
After the FNAC….that night, besides the pain… I had this severe burning sensation in my breast…. I had no idea wat it was… but trust me, it wasn’t pleasant……I slept wid gr8 difficulty that nite…

The next evening, amidst the madness in the medicine casualty and the madness in my head over this issue, I got a call from Sir asking me if my FNAC was done…. I told him yes and he asked me to self examine the breast to see if the size of the lump has reduced.. coz sometimes these swellings are very tense cysts and wen the needle for the FNAC is inserted these cysts rupture and it feels as if there has never been a lump at all…..

I told him, I would…. And as I disconnected the call, I again got that sharp brning sensation inside…..
I really didn’t know wat was happening…
That night while examining myself… Alhamdulillah! Allahu Akbar! I saw that the lump had indeed reduced in size…. :) it was there alrite.. but considerably smaller than the HUGE Mass it had been….

I was happy.. I thanked Allah Paak… and told sir the next day :)
He told me that it must have been a cyst then…..a very very tense cyst… (and I assume the burning sensation to be the cyst rupturing…. Just a gues… didn’t confirm wid anyone)
And he told me to review after ten days :P

The FNAC results showed a ‘fibroadenoma’ but… wel…. Whatever….
I never went for the review coz I had to return home (and if you know me… you’d know exactly how badly I wanted to return home…) and if sir wud have told that a minor procedure was still needed, I’d have to change a lot of my plans…

So I thot…. Jaane do! :p

Fibrocystic Disease of the Breast….. does it have a malignant potential????

:( bloody yes!!! :(

But khair… abhi ke liye.. I has a happy :)

Alhamdulillah! :)



5 comments:

Steve E said...

I like these words: "I has a happy!" No Matter What! Right?

After all, who are we to know Allah's plan? If he let us 'see' it, we'd probably die on the spot.
But one-day-at-a-time anyone can handle--with God's help.

Glad to hear some news about India-doctor-girl.

When I had the cancer, I asked peeps to pray for my doctors, because I was in their hands...so God might direct those hands and decisions to be His Will.

Good writing. Thanks!
PEACE!

Ruhi Shah said...

good to know ur in Andaman...i am too!!

hope you are well.

shshshs said...

alhamdulillah for the health he has given you....wish u all the success in life.....

TheBluntBlogger said...

Hmm...I hope you are doing better now and the lump is reduced. Yes I did remember about it and I had even sent an email after reading your post... :)

Susie Clevenger said...

I hope things will get better for you...my youngest daughter has fibrocystic breasts and had to have lumps removed this year...she is fine now..

Now reading ... "The Witch of Portobello" by 'Paulo Coelho'.

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