Sometimes all I want to do is run away from everyone and everything…..
to a place where no one knows me..
to a place where I know no one….
It is better to be lonely when you are alone
than to be lonely when you are amidst all….
I want to be lost….
I want people to look for me and never find me….
I want people to wait for me and never have me come….
I want people to wish for me and never have me…
Just the way I do for them.. so many of them… so often…
I want to be missed like I miss them…
I want to be thought of like I think of them….
I want to be so busy that when they want to talk to me, I’d have no time…
Just like they have no time for me, now….
I want to feel everything that I do not feel …
And I want them to feel everything that I feel….
I want to disappear…
To be invisible…
Out of sight … but never out of mind….
I want to exist but still not to….
I want to be pervasive ..
I want to be abstract…
I want to be material
I want to be so much and yet nothing…
I want to be far away from you… far far away…
So that you may never reach me, never find me, never hear of me….
I want to go away..
So that all you may be left with would be everything except me…
And then you would know whether you wanted me
And then you would know whether you needed others
And then you would know who was what
And then it would be over….
Coz I would have gone away
Where there lives a sea